Aries: screams at you to get off their lawn
Taurus: has no idea how they lived this long
Gemini: talks shit about the other grandmas
Cancer: bakes you chocolate chip cookies
Leo: crazy cat lady
Virgo: afraid of teenagers
Libra: currently on match.com
Scorpio: use their knitting needles as weapons
Sagittarius: has jokes that can make a stripper blush
Capricorn: wise sensei ninja warriors
Aquarius: goes to bed at 7pm
Pisces: thinks emojis is a band
