A Letter to the Ones I've Loved (Bully Luke Hemmings)

Entry 5

"Wait so you can just walk into Luke's house even though no one's home?" I ask, amused. Ashton laughs and leads me through the front door.

"Look." Ashton starts. "The guy may be a jerk but he has no boundaries. I'd never trust the guy in my house alone, but hey." He shrugs his shoulders and I laugh

"You thirsty?" Ashton calls from the kitchen. Yea, I could go for some water but I just felt weird asking for anything so I shout back "No, I'm good. Thanks." Ashton walks back in with 3 bags of chips and a ...beer?

"Beer?" Ashton laughs at my serious question. "You mean to tell me you've never seen under age drinking before? Allie, mate, have a sip. Let go, you know you want to." Ashton waves the bottle in front of me as I scrunch up my nose then realize. "IT'S ROOT BEER YOU JERK! Ya know you could've just said that, Ash!" I punch his arm.

"Yea but this was way more fun." I roll my eyes and take the drink from him.

"On second thought, I am feeling rather parched." I take a sip from the bottle and am pleased with myself. I look back up to Ashton who looks like if you touched his face it would crumble because he was just smiling that much.

"Allie? Who knew you had some balls. We just might have to keep you around." I laugh and open a bag of chips sitting near Ashton.

"Guess I have to get myself another then, 'cause someone took mine." He playfully rolls his eyes and leaves for the kitchen. I sit on the couch, grateful that Ashton picked me up. I still wasn't over what happened earlier and the fact that Ashton was willing to act like it never happened made me feel a lot better. He returns from the kitchen as I begin talking.

"What do I do?" Tears well up in my eyes. Maybe Ashton could ignore what happened earlier but all of the sudden I felt as if I couldn't. The events from this morning keep replaying in my head on an endless loop just taunting me as if to say, 'I know if you watch this enough you'll have a panic attack. Good luck.'

Asthon sighs. "Wanna know what I really think?" I nod my head hesitantly. "I think you are so much more than this video. You are too amazing of a person to let this bring you down. You don't really strike me as the 'I care about what everyone thinks of me' type so what's the deal? Why are you so upset over this? Is it Luke?" I contemplate Ashton's questions. He was completely right. I shouldn't care about what people who don't know me think about me. But I do. I care more than I'd like to admit. But how do I explain to a completely self confident person that I am not self confident. How do I tell Ashton that this was about Luke. I'm so confused and intrigued by Luke. His imperfections are so astonishing. It's not that I had a crush on him. I've always thought of people this way. Sort of like each person's individual puzzle pieces were more interesting than the puzzle as a whole. Luke's little pieces were so much better to think about than him as whole. I shrug my shoulders, not sure how to respond to Ashton and grab the remote. Ashton takes the remote from my hands.

"Wanna go check out our practice area?" I laugh at Ashton's question.

"You mean the garage?" I roll my eyes.

Ashton takes my wrist and drags me to the garage. I'm surprised at what I see. There are instruments everywhere and the place isn't a total mess. I head to the guitars and pick up one.

"You know how to play?" Ashton asks me.

"No. I wish. Guitars are sick. I play piano." I place the guitar strap around me and feel the strings. "Ash, this is awesome." I feel like a little kid. the smile on my face is so big I feel like it could break if you touched my face.

"You like my guitar, huh?" Luke walks in smiling. Is this the Luke I forgave or the one I feared?

"Oh, uh...sorry. I- uh didn't know. I'll put it down."