A Letter to the Ones I've Loved (Bully Luke Hemmings)

Entry 15

"Why haven't you tried to leave this date yet?" Richard asks me and I sit up straight, not prepared to have been asked that question. 

"Honestly? I can't figure you out. I guess that's why I'm still here. Also, the fact that you would probably punch me if I tried to leave." Richard laughs.

"I'm serious. If you think Luke is a bully then you haven't looked in a mirror in a long time." Richard takes his knife and stabs it into the table. I gasp and get up from my chair, ready to run if he comes near me. He pulls his hair.

"I'M TRYING MY BEST! MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD. AND THEY ALL SET ME UP TO KILL THEM. IT WAS PRACTICALLY MURDER." I take a step towards him.

"Richard, you did everything you could. It wasn't your fault." I take another step closer to him. 

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" I try and touch his arm to comfort him but as I reach for him I feel his fist collide with my jaw and I black out.

-------------------------------------------------

"Allie?" I hear a voice. I rub my eyes, my vision blurry.

"Ash?" I begin crying, extremely relieved to see a face I can trust.

"Ash! I missed you so much!" 

"Don't cry, Al. Tell me what happened." I look around the room and see Luke walk in with Christine by his side.

"I came as fast as I could. Is she okay?" I look up at him and try to wipe away my tears. Of course he brought her. They were on a date anyways, weren't they. He lets go of her hand and comes to my side.

"Allie! Where the fuck did that little shit go. I'm gonna beat the shit out of him." I wince at how angry Luke sounds.

"Luke." I stare into his eyes.

"Al, just tell me where the asshole went!" 

"Luke." I say again.

"What?"

"Calm down. You can push away the anger. You can do it." Luke leaves my side and I frown. He begins pacing.

"I can't push it away! I can't! I just wanna beat the shit out of that dick. I can't believe he laid a finger on you." Luke runs a hand through his hair. I grab his arm and he looks at my hand.

"I'm okay, Luke." Although, was I really? I took quadruple times the amount of my normal pills a few hours ago and didn't even care that I could die. Granted, I was pretty sure they weren't my real pills. And I must be right. It's been hours and my brain feels no different. I still feel on the border of extreme happiness and depression at the same time.

"Allie. Your face is bruised." He strokes the part of my face that feels swollen and I wince. He takes his hand away immediately. 

"Luke?" 

"Yea?"

"I think I need help."

"What do you mean, Al?"

"I took four times my normal amount of pills earlier." Luke takes a step back from me.

"Yo-you tried to kill yourself?" Luke looks on the cusp of panic.

"No! No, I just I've been feeling really off for a while like really happy one second and then just utterly sad the next and I knew it had to be related to my pills. So I decided that if I took more and didn't die then I would know for sure."

"Allie! You could've died! Are you insane?" 

"That's what I'm saying. I feel insane. And I think I get why you won't take your pills. Because in a strange way I feel completely free. Like every next move I make is completely up to me. But I realized today, a few minutes before I could've died, that I'm so much more limited without them. These past few days I've made stupid decisions that I honestly thought were smart. Like taking all those pills, I guess. I'm not saying you should take your pills. I'm just saying I understand why you won't. I still think it's stupid though because I can't wait to get my real pills and be myself again." Luke looks away from me.

"Uh, Luke?" Everyone turns to face Christine who we all forgot was there.

"Oh, babe. Sorry, I forgot-uh.." Luke looks back at me and I look away. They walk outside.

"We're glad you're okay but since we are mentally stable and don't have a cast on our arm, we'd really like to know where Richard is so we can beat him up." Michael says and Calum laughs. I roll my eyes.

"Is Richard hurting you?" Ashton asks me. I shake my head no.

"This was my fault. I pressured him into telling me about how his family died. It was stupid of me." I struggle to maintain eye contact with Ashton as I say this.

"Has Richard hurt you before this?" I nod my head hesitantly.

"You realize you deserve better, right?" Tears blur my vision as Ashton says this.

"You don't understand. My family loves him and everyone is forcing this relationship on me and I hate it, I hate Richard and I hate myself when I'm with him but I don't have a choice. I'm so scared of him, Ash. I thought he was gonna stab me earlier. I'm worried that if I don't date him then he'll hurt all of you guys and my family." I begin to cry and Ashton hugs me.

"We can take care of ourselves, Al. You just need to worry about yourself for a little while." I nod my head.

"Is Luke dating Christine?" I ask Ashton.

"I think we both know even Luke is too good for her." I laugh and wipe the last few tears from my face.

"Where did Richard go, though?" I ask.

"You don't know?" I shake my head.

"Everyone assumed you would know."

"Wait, so no one knows where he is?" Ashton looks to the ground.

"What if he hurts my mom? Ash, I gotta go. Can you just tell the police I'm fine and Richard has anger issues or something and he doesn't hurt me?"

"Allie, I'm not going to lie like that."

"Please." I beg. 

"Who's gonna drive you home?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I'll figure something out. Just please do this one thing for me, Ash, please." He nods his head and turns to talk to the police. I walk outside and try to find Luke. I find him talking to Christine and decide to just take the bus home. As I walk to the bus stop a car pulls up near me.

"Need a ride?" Richard smirks. I look at his car and see a dent in it that definitely wasn't there before. I start to run and then feel my vision go blurry and then everything goes black.

Author's Note:

guys i have the ending to this book all planned out (which won't be for a while cuz this is gonna be like 40 chapters?? idk i dont have each individual chapter planned out) and wow we are in for an insane journey. BUCKLE UP KIDS. see ya next friday :)