A Letter to the Ones I've Loved (Bully Luke Hemmings)

Entry 30

  I awake in a completely different environment than I fell asleep in. Luke's warm body is gone from mine and my head is pounding. My brain feels fuzzy as if all of the events from last night were the result of a hungover dream and I let a groan slip out of my mouth. I feel pillows all around me and a blanket covering only my feet.

  "Alex tell me what the fuck you gave her or I am going to beat the shit out of you, man." I half open my eyes and shield them from the suddenly harsh lighting to see Luke looking angry. And not the cute, oh hey look, my friend is standing up for me angry, a type of angry that awoke a fear in me that has been dormant for what feels like years. A type of angry that made me fear Luke and his unpredictability.

  "Luke, chill out she just-" And with that, Luke starts beating him up. I can see blood pour out of Alex's face only a few punches into the rather one sided fight. Luke keeps punching him relentlessly and Alex's eyes lock with my now fully open ones. They are pleading me to speak, to tell Luke that I'm alright. I swallow but can't get myself to speak. I quickly stand up and grab a hold of Luke. His anger doesn't even dwindle with the sight of me. He pushes me away and my back slams against a wall. The pain from the impact instantly relieves me from whatever drowsiness was left of Alex's prank. I let out a yelp of pain as I see the the rest of the band and what I think are Alex's friends walk in.

  "Luke! What the fuck, you're gonna kill him!" Ashton yells right into Luke's face but his anger doesn't flinch. He tries to push Ashton away as he did me but Ashton seems prepared for this resistance and hits Luke just below his eye. He falls to the ground and Ashton rushes over to me.

  "Allie?" Ashton's face holds an expression I can't read. I see my black jeans laying near Luke and a pang of confusion hits me.

  He tilts my neck to the side and mutters, "Fuck." I sense anger in his voice and am left, once again, wondering why everyone is full of this deep anger. "Allie, I swear those better not be what I think they are." Ashton says, his voice cracking. What is he talking about? What's on my neck?

  "You bet your sweet ass they are." Alex says with a smirk. And with that, Luke lunges from Calum and Michael's hold and hits Alex so hard in the jaw that I can hear his bone break.

  "C'mon, I'll take you back to the hospital." Ashton mutters as he picks me up. I push myself out of his hold and run over to Luke. He looks up at me with hurt in his eyes and flinches while visibly staring at my neck. Once again I'm left oblivious to whatever stains my neck. I try and inch closer to him but he shakes his head, clearly trying not to get angry. I tilt my head in confusion and look up at Ashton. 

  "Let's go." Ashton says as he grabs my pants and helps me back outside and into the car. I keep one arm draped loosely around him as I follow him to the car, the drowsiness from earlier creeping back up on me. Once we reach the car I open the mirror.

  "Close that." Ashton demands. I shoot him a questioning look and continue to open the mirror. He swiftly raises a hand to close the mirror. What is he hiding from me? I open my phone and quickly find a text-to-speech website.

  What the hell?

  "Fine, open the damn mirror, Allie. Whatever." Ashton says, clearly exhausted. I open the mirror and move my flannel collar so I can see the part of my neck everyone else was staring at. I gasp and run my fingers over the red surface. 

  "Yea, nice hickey, Al." Ashton says bitterly and I begin to type furiously as tears cloud my vision.

  I didn't even kiss anyone what the hell. Is this a joke? Where's luek I gotta talk to him. 

  I ignore the typos and let my phone do its best to decipher my thoughts.

  "Allie I'm not gonna listen to you play the innocent card." Ashton says with a sigh.

  What? Wait, you don't believe me? I've never even kissed anyone before. How would I get a hickey?

  "Oh yea, very convincing argument considering we saw a used condom next to where you were passed out. And you didn't have pants on." He holds up my jeans and I feel my throat tighten up at his words and have to fight back the urge to scratch my skin from anxiety.

  I'm a virgin. There's no way I had sex with Alex.

  And all of my words are true. I'm a virgin, never been kissed. So pure I could be a nun. So why do I feel like I'm lying? Luke's words play over in my head. "Alex tell me what the fuck you gave her."  Could Alex have drugged me and raped me? Or worse, did I actually have sex with him by choice? My mind is racing so hard and my head aches so bad that before I know it I vomit on my own lap.

  "ALLIE WHAT THE FUCK!" Ashton yells as he pulls the car over on an empty street. He gets out and opens my side of the car. I begin to cry and can feel Ashton's demeanor switch to have a hint of empathy. "It's alright, c'mere." His words aren't spoken like he believed anything  I said, or like he was ready to treat me like a friend but regardless, he unbuckles me and sits me on the grass, draping an arm around my shoulder.

  "Okay, tell me what happened." Ashton says calmly.

  Luke's never gonna look me in the eye again.

  Ashton sighs, neither confirming or denying my statement. I desperately need to know what happened between Alex and me. I need to know if I can ever look Luke in the eye again.

  "Tell me what happened and I can answer that." He says with a yawn.

  The last thing I remember was Alex and his friends chanting babe around me like halfway through your first song. Then I had a dream. That's all.

  "That can't be all." Ashton says. "We played that first song like 4 hours ago. " I hiccup and put my head on Ashton's shoulder.

  I'm tired.

  "Okay, let's get you back to the hospital."

Author's Note:

v v short but just needed to get an update out since it's been so long. hope you like this :) i only read over this once so I'm sure there are tons of mistakes