A Letter to the Ones I've Loved (Bully Luke Hemmings)

Entry 6

I get in my car and decide to let my mind run wild instead of listening to music. I really thought I could get through the day with the real Luke. Should I have fought for him? No, it's too early in our friendship for that. I didn't know him well enough to fight for him. Still, no matter how much I convinced myself otherwise, a little part of me kept saying I should've talked him down. And I believed that part of me. It's time I forgive all of him.

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Luke's POV

I left my house angrily. I didn't' care about band practice. I'm so mad at myself. Allie and I were having such a good time and I was even controlling my mood swings. I thought my personality disorder had disappeared. Which was stupid. Because everyday I don't take my pills and everyday I believe I'll be able to control myself and everyday I have a moment where I believe I'm normal and then I explode. Is that who I am? Does my personality disorder define me? I don't know who I am anymore. I punch my steering wheel. I'm going to start taking my pills. I can't handle this constant state of wondering when I'll drive people away. I didn't deserve Allie's forgiveness. I'm going to take my meds and earn it. I head for therapy feeling a little better but still clutching the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. As I head through the intersection, I realize I didn't look at what color the light was. Suddenly, a truck hits the passenger side of my car. I black out.

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Allie's POV

The traffic on the way to therapy is horrible. I wonder what the hold up is. Probably just a broken traffic light. I see people getting out of their cars. I follow. I walk with the crowd, bumping into strangers left and right until I see a car and a truck. The car seems like it may have rolled a few times and the truck has nothing but a big dent in its front. I look back at the car and see a boy. The firemen are trying to cut through the metal of the car to get the boy out. I can't see much of the boy except for some blood here and there. I wonder if this boy is okay. I hope he is. The firemen finally cut through the metal and pull out the boy.

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Luke's POV

I regain consciousness as people are pulling me out of my car. Why are they pulling me out? Did something happen? I can't feel my arm. I see a crowd of people near me. Allie?

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Allie's POV

The boy's arm looks rough. Probably broken. Majorly broken. It seems like he regained consciousness and he turns to face the crowd. My body freezes. I can't move but I scream. "LUKE!" A police officer comes near me. "Do you know him ma'am?" I nod my head and try to run towards him but am stopped by the officer. "They're taking him to St. John's." I nod my head and run back to my car. All of this running is becoming really hard for me. Halfway to my car, my legs begin to feel like stones. I collapse. "Allie?" I hear a boy call for me as I can't move. I look behind me. "Allie! Are-are you okay? Wh-what happened?" Butterflies enter my stomach as I realize the owner of this voice. Richard.

"I need to get to my car." I whisper because it's becoming hard for me to breathe after all of this running and panicking and butterflies.

"I don't think you can drive like this, Allie." He's still mad isn't he. He just used my real name. "I'll drive you. Where to?" Richard asks. "St. John's." I can't say much because I'm so out of breath.

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Luke's POV

I'm awake in the ambulance and have to look to make sure my arm is still there. I see my bone poking out of my arm and then darkness.