Friendships Don't Last~ lrh • • • Discontinued

Chapter 53

Did I feel bad that I shut The door in Luke's face? Yes. Did he deserve it? Yes. The fact that he didn't say anything when I asked him if it was my fault that I cut ONCE (or maybe twice), is just mean. I guess it was my fault for cutting and harming myself, but it's not my fault for feeling this way.

I sighed, scooping another scoop of ice cream into my mouth.

This feels like a breakup.

Everybody tried to call and text me, but I ignored them. Even my mom. I was expecting her to be even worse like me, but she just kept her head up. I only replied to Angelina when she asked what happened and what was wrong. I simply replied "I'm fine".

We all know that's not true.

I needed company, I'm not going to lie, but I just feel like the same as before. A disappointment. I can't even look at pictures of them on social media. It felt like knives going through my back every time. They don't love me anymore. I'm just a disappointment.

I looked at my bathroom door and looked back at my TV screen, trying to avoid the horrible memories that were held in there.

~Flashback~

I sobbed in my pillow, thinking about my dad who was now long gone. I can't retrieve him, I can't see his smile anymore, I can't see his stupid, yet funny jokes. Nothing.

He's gone.

I wiped my tears.

Flora, it's okay.. Just get something to distract you.

I opened my laptop, going on to Twitter, completely forgetting all the hate I've been getting.

@ashtonisdaddyaf - Luke's girlfriend dad died!! Omg!! She deserved it.

@michaelomgyes - Luke's girlfriend is a slut. That is why I love Michael.

@lukeisacutiepatootie - Why doesn't Luke date me instead? Ugh

@mukefmeup - @lukeisacutiepatootie cause' no one likes you

@calumhitmeup - ew Luke's girlfriend is so ugly omg!1!1!

@forevermalum - shut the fuck up you shits. Luke's girlfriend is going through a rough time rn and you give her trash. Just fuck off.

Tears rolled down my face as I read more and more of the awful tweets that were about me. I couldn't feel anymore. I felt numb and I couldn't control what I was doing.

My body that was soon controlled by my anxiety and depression lead me to my bathroom. I didn't know what I was doing. Voices kept echoing in my head as if my head was endless dark cave and all you can hear is the rocks crumbling down. I looked into the mirror. I looked skinny from not eating, my eyes were red and puffy from crying, my hair was awful, and I was pale. Really pale.

I walked to my shower to where all my razors were at. I told my body to stop and that this is not right. Tears rolled down my face more, but I didn't care. It felt like another entity was controlling me. I grabbed my razor and took off the plastic parts to soon reveal 4 razor sharp razors. I picked the first one and dropped the others to the ground. I screamed and screamed in my mind, but my body couldn't hear me.

I trembled in fear as I took the blade and gently, not touching, skimmed it across my wrist. I waited. I don't know what for, but I waited. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, not wanting to see the sight of blood. I pressed the blade down against my flesh, biting my tongue so I wouldn't scream. I dragged it across, realizing it didn't hurt so bad.

I opened my eyes and I saw my new fresh wound. I sighed in relief, letting the blood drip and on to the sink. I did a few more and cried. I sobbed on the my bathroom floor, cold and alone.

~Flashback end~

Tears were spilling out of my eyes. I looked at my arm and cried more. I grabbed my phone and texted Luke.

To: Lukey
From: Me

Come to my house. The door is open.

When I pressed send, he didn't respond until I heard him open my door slightly after a few minutes.

"Flora?" He peeked his head out. His eyes wandered to me. I wrapped myself in a blanket.

"Oh, my baby" I heard him mutter.

He went over to me and slid in to the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and I immediately felt the warmth and love again. I cried into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." I sobbed.

"Don't be. It was my fault" he whispered into my ear.

He rubbed circles on my back and whispered sweet things in to my ear. We stayed like that, for what seemed like forever, but it was nice. I didn't feel cold or alone anymore.

"I love you" I whispered to him.

"I love you too, Flour"

so, I haven't updated in a month.

I AM SO SO SORRY.

Ever since I moved, school has been really tough on me. I am not really doing so well too so I decided to take a little break from any electronics.

Even on Instagram. I had to tell my followers that I want to focus on school more.

I have an "average" grade in math which is bad because if I don't get an A, then my mom would sell my SLFL tickets and I honestly don't want that.

I don't know if I will update this week but maybe next week. I promise ;)

Q: How much do you love school from 1-10?

A: 3.5

Hope you like this chapter. :)

P.S. Ily Angie thanks for the card ;)