Impish Hearts

Chapter 32: Bawing-Bawi

NOTE: TODONG MALANDING CHAPTER !

ERIC'S POV

What the f-uck is happening in my life? 

Fallon is so frustrated, and she have all the rights to feel so. And that made it more frustrating on my side. I know that what happened hurts her, and I don't know what should I do about it. 

I will never want to hurt her. I can't even imagine myself hurting her! Masyado ko s'yang mahal para saktan s'ya. Pero may mga bagay talaga na mangyayari kahit hindi natin gusto o inaasahan. Tangina, may kasalanan ba ako sa nangyari?

I've been faithful to her since the very beginning. I don't want us to break up apart. I've been doing my best to be the boyfriend she deserves. Yet, things still happened.

I honestly don't know what to do. I didn't see this coming. My hands are itching to wring the neck of that desperate b-itch! She's giving me a hard time.

Pero hindi na mahalaga kung sino ang may kasalanan. What mattered now is to make things right. Hindi ko kayang matulog na alam kong may problema kami. 

I heaved a heavy sigh before I walk towards the edge of the bed.

"Fallon, please listen to me" I said in a desperate voice. I've never begged like this before. I've never been desperate for someone's forgiveness. And to think that I didn't do anything wrong. But it's Fallon we're talking about. Since the day I love her, I've been doing things I never imagine myself will be doing. She's making me a better person. 

And it feels great doing things for someone you love. This is not me, but it makes me happy. She's my priority. Her happiness is my rapture.

"Pwede ba na 'wag na muna natin pag-usapan? 'Wag na muna natin problemahin?" she answered in a shaking voice.

I felt something twitching in my chest knowing that she's crying. I don't want her crying.

"Paano natin maaayos kung hindi natin pag-uusapan?" mahinahong tanong ko.

Ilang saglit ang lumipas na hindi pa din s'ya natitinag. Nakatalikod s'ya sakin habang nakahiga sa kama.

"Eric, natatakot ako" she said after a while.

I heaved another sigh before I sat beside her. I rolled her in the bed so that she's facing me.

I held her face in my hands. I look straight in her eyes. I want her to see me. I want her to see my soul and the truth in my words.

"I love you, Fallon. Isn't it enough assurance? Hindi ko ba napaparamdam sa'yo na mahal kita? Kulang pa ba ang mga ginagawa ko?" I asked in the most gentle voice I can mutter. 

I am offended. I love her too much. And I am giving my best for her. Ano pa ba ang kailangan kong gawin para sa kanya? D-amn, I could even die for her!

She sobbed.

The sound of her cry hurts me more than a punch can. The sound of her sobs squeezes something within me. Nakakapanghina. 

Tangina, umiiyak s'ya dahil nasasaktan s'ya dahil sakin.

"Ako ang kulang, Eric" sagot n'ya sa mas basag na tono.

Umiling ako. 

Neil saw this coming. He warned me that Fallon might feel inadequate. Sinabi na n'ya sakin na hindi maiiwasan na ma-insecure s'ya. There's an issue about our social status. Then the people around us who might think that she's just after my money. Those are the things that we don't have control of.