Falling In Love

Chapter 1

de·ter·mi·na·tion

dəˌtərməˈnāSH(ə)n/

noun.

Firmness of purpose; resoluteness.

synonym: willpower.

-
~Ciara

I remember him sitting next to me and saying, I'm sorry. He didnt even have to say anything else, I already knew what he was going to say. The last words I remember were as follows, "I love the both of you." Those six small words made me loose all of my confidence, strength and willpower. Those words, made my heart shatter.
----
I walked into the stands, familiarizing myself with the croud.

"Ciara!" My friend Nisha yelled.

I spun my head to the side and looked for the direction the familiar voice came from.

I screamed and ran over causing people to stare. "Hey boo! I missed you!"

"I missed you more girl, where have you been?" Nisha asked and side eyed me.

"Maann, don't even start with me Ni. You know I've been working."

"Well it seems you don't have time for me or your 'bae' anymore." She spat as she rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"No, do not do that to me I-"

I rolled my eyes as the announcer started to speak.

"It's game day at Florida State, they face the undefeated Georgia State on this beautiful Friday."

"Please stand for the National Anthem."

I stood up with Nisha following. After it was finished we returned to our seats and continued talking.

"Like I was saying, I don't do anything on the weekend but rarely ever do either one of you call me to hang out. I always have to call you guys!"

Nisha dropped her head. "You are right, I'm sorry."

"Mhm." I said and began to watch the football players get ready to start playing. I kept my eyes on Trell as he strutted on the field, smiling at me. I smiled back at him.

I saw Nisha looking at me out the corner of her eye. She finally spoke,"There's something you should know though Ciara."

"What." I spat and didn't turn my head to look at her.

--

Immediately after the game and started walking to my car, at this point I was fed up with Trell and Nisha. She told me that Trell has been acting different and she seen him with another girl. Not only did I wonder why I wondered why the hell he wouldn't tell me, I'm not a second choice. I been nothing but good to him.

"Aye." I recognized the voice but I kept walking. He grabbed my arm and put me in a sudden halt.

"Why you didn't answer me?" He asked and I yanked my arm back.

"Because I didn't want to! Now leave me alone, Both of you!" My voice continued to grow louder as I became frustrated with him and Nisha who was running up after him to catch up to me.

"Bae."

"No don't call me that you piece of shit! Go call that bitch that." I yelled not even looking back in his direction.

I ran to my car and sped off quickly to keep tears from forming.

I stopped at the stoplight and gathered my thoughts. "Fuck!" I yelled finally realizing that Nisha only called me to the game to tell me that bullshit. I banged my hand against the steering wheel as tears began to stream down my face and my phone started ringing. I sent it to voicemail and turned it on do not disturb mode. I just need time to myself.
--
I been in the bed for days, thinking. I loved him but my heart hurted. I went through this before, I can't go through this again and I won't. I turned my phone off do not disturb and dialed Trell's number.

It rang a couple times and he picked up, "Baaaae." He dragged.

"Just because I called doesn't mean I'm not still upset you dipshit." I frowned.

His mood changed from anger to sadness. "I'm sorry." "I didn't mean to have sex with her." "You were on my mind the whole time."

I laughed angrily and began to speak. "And that's supposed to make it better?" "Fuck you, and her too." "Karma is a bitch and it's coming back for you."

"Don't say that Cee, I still love you." I took the phone off my ear and mugged it.

I scoffed and spoke, "Well I don't still love you." I wiped the tears beginning to form and hung up the phone.
"Fuck that nigga." I said while throwing my phone on the bed.

"I'm done with everyone associated with Trell." I spoke softly to myself. "I mean it."

I silenced my phone and turned on the tv to get my mind off it.