"Can't you do anything right?"
The words rang in my head and dug a knife into my skin for what seemed like hours.
"Pathetic! Crying over some petty words."
The knife dug deeper.
"A girl like you doesn't belong on this island!"
And deeper.
"Bloody worthless!"
Deeper.
"Go sleep in the cage like the dog you are."
I shot up with a gasp. My head craned to the side and I sighed in relief when I saw the still sleeping boy next to me.
His eyes were shut, his face peaceful. His lips weren't spitting fiery, spiteful words at me.
Not anymore,
I told myself.
I forced myself to manage a small smile. I bent down and kissed his cheek before laying back down under the covers.
Not anymore.
• • • • • •
I watched with tired eyes as the boys trained. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night, almost none at all.
Slumping against a tree, my head tilted back to lean on the rough bark, and my eyes began to shut.
"Y/N?" Peter called as he approached me, his face a bit worried. "Did you not sleep last night?"
My voice was caught in my throat. Do I tell him about the nightmares?
"Get over it and go back to sleep, girl! Lost boys don't cry over nightmares."
The familiar voice shouted in the back of my mind.
"Y/N?" Peter asked again, his voice pulling me back into reality.
"Yeah," I answered quickly. "Just not enough, I guess." I said as I laughed awkwardly.
He eyed me warily for a moment.
"Are you sure you don't want to go back to bed? We're not doing anything important today, love." He offered, tracing my face lightly with his fingers.
"If you want to sleep in so badly you can do it in the cages."
I shook my head immediately.
"No, I'll be fine. I promise." I said as I forced a smile.
He nodded slowly. I watched as guilt swam in Peter's forest green eyes. He quickly turned back and continued helping the boys.
Not anymore.
I dipped my hands into one of the water buckets we had and splashed my face.
"God dammit, Hunter!" I heard Peter shout.
My head shot up to watch the scene.
Hunter and Peter were both looking down at the broken bow on the floor.
"Can't you do anything right?" The familiar, fiery words shot out from Peter's lips.
My breathing picked up a bit and I felt my blood run cold.
I tore my gaze away from them and began walking to my hut.
Not anymore.
I tried to tell myself again, but that ideology was slowly slipping away from me.
• • • • • •
It was hours later that Peter finally came back to the hut.
His face was flushed red, a scowl set on his lips. He was drenched from head to toe in water.
Immediately, he headed toward the small dresser in the corner.
"P-Peter?" I called as he began rummaging wildly through his clothes. "Is everything alright?" I jumped as he slammed the drawer shut.
Anxiety crawled up my body quickly, butterflies forming in my stomach, but they were far from the good kind.
"Peachy." He spat as he began changing into dry clothes.
An eerie silence filled the room and I couldn't shake the fear that was telling me to run as far away from him as possible.
"Do you want to- to talk about it?" I stammered.
"Does it look like I want to bloody talk about it?" He growled as he pulled a shirt over his soaked head.
"Oh." I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest.
He threw himself onto his side of the bed and closed his eyes, his arm thrown lazily over his face.
I watched him carefully for a moment.
"Did the boys do something?" I asked quietly.
"I thought I said I didn't wish to talk about it!" He shouted.
I fell silent once again, a lump forming in my throat. I hadn't seen him this angry in months. He never yelled at me anymore.
"Shut up, you pester me like a child!"
Tears formed in my eyes and I quickly jumped off of my bed and out the door.
"I should have never brought you to Neverland!"
• • • • •
PETER'S POV
I ran through the woods, ignoring sting of the branches that smacked against me.
"Y/N!" I shouted frantically.
I was a fool. She was fragile, I knew that.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Fear ate me from the inside out. She was afraid and now she was alone in the forest. I hated her roaming Neverland without me; it's far too dangerous.
"Y/N! Please, I'm sorry!" I screamed in hopes she would come out from wherever she was hiding, but I knew my plea fell on deaf ears.
I needed to hold her, reassure her I wasn't regressing into the person she feared.
The search seemed endless, but I'd finally found her. Her jagged, harsh breathing could be heard a mile away.
I looked up at the tree where she had been hiding. She sat on a branch not too far from the ground, her knees pulled up against her chest.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," I began as I stared up at her. I knew to keep my distance for now. "You know I'd never hurt you again. Not anymore."
I sighed as silence rang in my ears and sat down with my back against the tree.
"I know about your nightmares." I mentioned as I stared into the dirt. "I know the memories keep you up at night."
I picked at a leaf on the ground and waited for a reply that I knew wasn't coming.
"I know you're scared, and I know you're trying to be brave for me, love," I rambled, my voice cracking a bit. "But I promise you don't have to be afraid."
I shoved my head into my hands and yanked at the roots of my hair.
How ugly of a heart must I have to darken the brightest thing in my life?
"I'm trying to make it better," I whispered. "I'm going to make it better." I declared loudly this time.
"But I understand if you can't love me yet," I sighed. "And I'll wait for the day that you can. I'll always wait for you."
I hugged my legs to chest and allowed my head to fall into my knees.
I heard shuffling above me before I heard feet land swiftly on the grass. She sat beside me and laid her head on my shoulder. I raised my head back up and looked down at her.
Her cheeks were wet, her hair sticking to her face. Her face was stained with the soil of Neverland, yet still, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that she was the most breathtaking sight on this island.
"There was never a time when I didn't love you, Peter," She said softly. "And I don't think my mind can fathom the thought of a future where I couldn't love you."
She leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"Y/N Y/L/N, as sure as I am that the sun will come up tomorrow, is as sure as I wish you to be that I'll love you always in this life and the next." I whispered as I wrapped my arm around her.
"Until the sun dies, I will love you."
