You'd have never thought that you'd end up as a nurse in a small hospital in the middle of nowhere. You'd wanted to travel the world, to visit places almost no one ever gets the chance to see. You wanted your life to be an adventure but somehow you were stuck.
Stuck in your life with a daily routine. Stuck in a job which you loved, but which wasn't even half as exciting as your world trip would've been. Stuck in world where you'd only find out who your true Soulmate was the minute you or they died.
You'd have never thought that all of these legends about your Soulmate were true. Why should they be? What should have been the purpose of the entire thing if it was the last words of a person that revealed who their true soulmate was? That was just cruel and it only made sense when the Universe was a little sarcastic asshole, which it was. It probably was. But eventually you had started to believe in it when your granddad had passed away, the last words on his lips your grandma's name.
But of course it wasn't always like this. As a nurse you'd seen enough of the daily life in the hospital to know that many people never got the chance to meet their Soulmate. There were Couples who'd spent their entire lifetime together only to find out that even though they loved each other, their souls weren't made for each other. That it was the neighbour's name that fell from the lips of your beloved husband who'd just passed away. That it's the name of your sister. Or of someone you'd never heard before.
Apparently it was an urge to say the name in your very last moments in this world, in this life. Apparently you couldn't do anything against it and trying to hold the name back was like trying to fight against fate. It was impossible. One of your patients had told you about it a few years ago after he'd died and was revived by the doctors. Gladly the name of his lips had been the one of his fiancé. They'd been lucky. Not many people were.
"Y/N? Someone's in there?" your best friend Charlie snapped with her fingers infront of your face and pulled you out of your thoughts. She was standing next to you and was chewing on her lower lip which she only did when something big was going to happen.
There was never something big in a little hospital like this. You only ever dealed with unfriendly teenage boys who broke their arm while trying to impress their girlfriends on the skateboard. You dealed with impatient parents who thought their coughing nine year old was the only patient in the world and you saw drunk old men with broken noses or cuts from damaged beer bottles. Or you dealed with the cruelness which was called finding out who your soulmate was.
Nothing exciting. Nothing that looked like an adventure and for sure nothing that would make Charlie chew on her lip.
"What have I missed?" you asked your best friend the moment the door opened and paramedics hurried in the halls of the hospital. They were carrying a blood strained body with them which looked more dead than alive. But this person still had a pulse. This someone was still there.
You and Charlie quickly made your way after the paramedics and the three doctors who were now running in the same direction. You'd never seen so much blood on a face ever before and you had to turn away for a second. It looked like the person had been hit by several trucks and literally walked through hell and back. How was this person still alive? How came that they appeared like that infront of your hospital? Your hospital which was the smallest one in the entire state?
Suddenly an other stranger entered the hospital. It was a tall man with longish brown hair. He had several cuts on his face and his left arm and his plaid shirt was ripped like he'd fought with a wild creature in the woods. Where did these people even come from?
"Where is he?" the man panted and you quickly made your way towards him as he collapsed on the floor. You half carried, half dragged him to the nearest bed and helped him to sit down on it.
"Where is my brother?" he asked again and even though you didnt even knew if the blood stained stranger was a guy, you pointed at the door where the doctors and Charlie had disappeared with him. It was too much blood on his face to identify him as male or female from afar but considering that it took several people to properly drag him through the halls of the hospital, you assumed that the stranger was a man. The man infront of you only nodded and let out a whimper in pain as you carefully touched the cut on his face.
"Your brother is in good hands, Sir. But I need to take care of you as well. All the doctors are in there with your brother now so I would have to do the stitches," you explained to him and at his confused look you quickly added that you were only a nurse, not a doctor.
"Oh that's fine. I'm sure you are very talented in stitching someone up," he smiled weakly at you and you smiled back. He had no idea how right he was. You were damn amazing at stitching up which was because you did it every day. These teenage boys nowadays really were trying hard to impress someone on their skateboards.
Just as you'd finished cleaning the wound on his arm, Charlie ran into the small treatment room. Her red hair was looking like she'd been in a hurricane. It was standing up from her head and was pointing in several directions. There was a shocked expression on her face like she'd just seen a ghost or discovered that Vampires were real.
"Y/N you have to follow me immediately! The stranger woke up and we asked him if he could tell us his name."
You shoot her a questioning glance. It usually worked like this and asking an injured blood stained man after his name wasn't new to you. Even though you'd never seen something like this in real life at work, you'd watched plenty of Dr. Sexy MD. Your favorite tv show.
"He didn't told us his name. The only words that came from his lips were your name. He only said 'Y/N'. And then, and then his heart just stopped. He's dead."
You carefully peaked behind the corner and looked through the open door of the room where they had brought the body. The other man, his brother, was sitting on his left side. Holding his dead brothers cold hand in his own, his forhead was pressed against the mattress. His body was shaking from crying, only slightly and barely visible. You probably wouldn't have noticed it if you weren't looking at him for such a long time now.
The man had asked for some private time with his brother, before he'd tell you their names and the doctors had accepted that. There wasn't much to do for them anyway. The one was dead, the other properly stitched up. The other nurses had cleaned the dead mans face so that there was now no blood on it anymore and you were able to see his beautiful features.
So, this was your soulmate right? The dead man in this room was supposed to be connected with you. To be your other half. And now he was dead and you'd never had the chance to even say 'Hi' to him. He'd never know how you'd look like and that you were here - so very close to him.
"You are Y/N right?" a manly voice suddenly asked and you jumped in surprise because you hadn't noticed that the tall guy had walked out of the room where his brother was. Embarrassed about the fact that he'd caught you staring, you blushed.
"Yes that must be me. I'm sorry about - " you started but stopped as you realised that you still didn't knew his name. The name of your soulmate. Your dead soulmate.
"Dean," the man infront of you quickly said and smiled warmly at you. "His name is, well was Dean. And I am Sam." He held out his hand for you to shake and you took it, gratefully.
"I wish I could say that it's nice to meet you, Sam," you said and forced yourself to smile, but failed. "But I don't think it's appropriate considering the situation we're in." Sam only nodded and the two of you remained silent for awhile while you looked over to the room with the open door. You still couldn't believe that he'd said your name and you'd needed several doctors and nurses to confirm that Charlie hadn't misheard something. But no, he really had said your name. Even your last name. So it had to be you.
"He would've liked you, you know," Sam suddenly said and you looked up at him. He was smiling at you and you felt the urge to smile back. It was weird to stand with a stranger in the middle of the hospital, smiling at each other as if this would be the only thing that would keep you alive. Keep you from bursting into tears.
"How do you know that?" you wanted to know and rapidly blinked the tear away that was searching for a way out of your eyes. This wasn't the right time to cry nor was it the right place. You were a nurse after all. A professional.
"He was my brother Y/N. Of course I know. He would've loved you," he reached out for your hand and squeezed it lightly. Telling you that it was okay to believe his words, that it was okay for you to grieve over a man you didn't knew. Dean was your soulmate. Dean was supposed to be your Family and with this light hand squeeze Sam told you that you'd belong to family now anyway.
"I am going to look for a doctor now. I still have to tell them what exactly happened. I'll see you Y/N" Sam squeezed your hand one more time before he left you alone in the corridor that lead to Dean's room.
——
"Hey there," you said quietly as you sat down on the chair next to Dean's bed. He looked even more beautiful from up close. His face was covered in freckles and there was a slight scruff on his face as if he hadn't shaved in a few days. His hair was the perfect shade of blond and as you sat there and watched him, you could feel the connection.
It wasn't like love at the first sight. It was stronger. It was like the universe finally made sense now. Like everything was in the right position, the right angle. The only wrong thing was that he was dead and you were alive and that you couldn't do a damn thing about it.
You reached out to feel his hand. It was rough and covered in scars and it was cold. Too cold. It made you sick, it made you want to throw up. What was the universe trying to tell you here? What was the universe trying to prove?
"I'm Y/N," you said now and gently brushed your thumb over the back of his hand. "I'm your soulmate. And I'm sorry Dean. I'm sorry that we'll never get to hear each others voices. I'm sorry that we'll never hear each others laughs."
A cough interrupted you and you saw that Sam was standing in the door frame.
"I'm sorry I didn't wanted to interrupt you and uh, Dean. They want to pick up his body now so I gotta leave. Wanted to tell you goodbye though."
"Oh okay," you sniffed and wiped the tears away that once again had tried to find a way out of your eyes. Sam was fighting against the tears as well. "Bye Sam."
He turned around and you stood there for a moment, before you murmured a quiet 'screw it' and followed him outside of the hospital. It had started to rain and you saw that Sam hurried to a beautiful classic black car.
"Sam! Wait!" you called and the man immediately stopped and turned around. The tears on his face mixing with the rain that was now pouring from the sky.
"Can you tell me about him?"
—-
You and Sam were sitting in a small café which was not too far away from the hospital. You had quickly changed out of your nurse gear into your normal street clothes and Sam had renewed the park ticket for the Car, which you later found out belonged to Dean.
"So tell me about him. How was he?" you asked Sam and at the thought of his brother a broad smile appeared on his face.
"He was the best brother I could've asked for. He is the older one. Four years older than me to be exactly. Our Mom died when I was six months old and our Dad was ... our Dad was travelling a lot. So he basically raised me."
"I'm sorry about your Mom. Have you told your Dad that," you cut off. Unable to say it out loud. Have you told your Dad that his eldest son his dead?
"No I can't. He died a few years ago. Dean was all the family I had left." You wanted to say something but Sam only shook his head and smiled again before he continued to tell you what kind of a person Dean was. You learned that Dean was protective and didn't liked to admit his feelings most of the times. You learned that he was the little daredevil of the two brothers and that he was stubborn when it came to most things. Sam told you that Dean could be incredible sarcastic and funny and that he'd loved his Car more than any women on this planet and even called it 'Baby'. You learned that Dean was a geek even though he never admitted it and that he was smarter than he made it look like.
With every thing Sam said about his older brother you felt the connection to him grow but with that, also the empty pitch-black gap in your chest started to get bigger and bigger. You felt like you'd lost a part of yourself. You felt like someone was missing. Something of you was missing. Like an arm. Or half of your heart.
"Can you tell me -," you started when suddenly a guy in a trenchcoat appeared next to you. In the one moment the spot he was now standing in was empty, and now he was there. What the hell? How did he do that?
"Oh wow who are you?" you asked but the guy in the trenchcoat had already turned around to Sam. To your surprise, Sam didn't looked even closed as shocked as you were about the sudden appearance of this dark haired trenchcoat guy.
"Sam I have news! I think I found a way to bring back Dean but for that we need his Soulmate," the stranger said. His voice was really deep and the way he stood in the café looked a little bit awkward. He looked like he didn't belonged here. To this world. It was weird.
"Bring Dean back?" you asked again and this time the new arrival paid attention to you.
"Is that her, Sam?" he asked and Sam nodded. The two man shared a long silent glance before Sam suddenly turned to you. No one had answered your questions yet and you still had no idea where Mr. Trenchcoat had even come from. It looked like he'd fallen from heaven.
"Y/N if I'd tell you that there is a way to ressurect Dean, would you believe me?" Sam asked you and you shook your head without hesitation.
"No, I wouldn't. But I also didn't believed in Soulmates and guys in trenchcoats who appear out of nowhere. So he said he'd need my help," you pointed at Cas and grinned at him. "What do I have to do?"
"Angels?" you asked for the what seemed to be twentieth time and looked from one man to the other. They were both sitting in front of you at the table you'd sat with Sam a few minutes ago alone. "Like, Angels Angels? You know the one's who are baking christmas cookies in heaven so that's why the sky turns red in the late afternoon?"
"No," the guy in the Trenchcoat said and looked slightly confused. He'd told you that his name was Castiel but that you could also call him Cas. You'd never heard this name before which was because it was an Angel name and apparently, Cas was one of this feathery creatures.
"I never baked any cookies in heaven. But Gabriel did. He really likes candy and so he also really likes baking but I never thought that you would be able to see it on the -"
"That wasn't what she meant but thanks, Cas," Sam interrupted him and gave you an apologetic glance, before he started to explain to you again that Angels were in fact very real. So were apparently demons, vampires, witches, werewolves, ghosts and other creatures whose names you'd never heard of before. You couldn't believe it. You didn't wanted to believe it.
"Okay one more time," you placed your elbows on the table and rested your chin on your folded hands. This way you looked like an interested journalist who was listening to a nerve racking story. At least you hoped that you looked like that. "How do I know that you are not some crazy guys who secretly want to kill me?"
"We wouldn't do that," Cas assured you and gave you a small smile. "And we want to save Dean and without you it isn't possible."
"And that's why you need to know what we are dealing with, Y/N. You need to know what you'll be dealing with once you've helped rescuing my brother. This life is a rough one and it get's you killed. In this life the question's not wether you'll be killed, it's when you'll be killed and how," Sam was speaking in a low, almost whispering voice because you could already feel the eyes of the other guests in your neck.
"Okay," you breathed and tried to silence the little voice in your head that still screamed that you couldn't trust these men. That monsters couldn't really exist. But there was also this other voice. This voice that seemed to be new but still felt like it would've been there since the beginning of time. It was telling you that it was okay to trust Sam and Cas. It was telling you that it was okay to trust your instincts. In the end this was the adventure you'd always wanted. You had always craved for.
"Okay?" Sam asked one more time and you nodded.
"I believe you even though I have one million reasons not to. I still believe you. And I still want to help you partly because of the reason that, if this entire monster story is really true, you probably saved the world so many times and partly because of him." You didn't even needed to say his name for Sam and Cas to understand. You and Dean were soulmates. Connected. And deep down inside you, you felt like this was already enough of a reason to help them. To believe them. To put your entire life into their hands.
Back in the café you hadn't known yet that this was exactly what you'd be doing.
—-
"Is it comfortable like this?" Cas asked you and handed you another pillow at which you rolled your eyes.
"Cas you are planning to kill me. I don't think there is any way to make this comfortable, no matter how many pillows you're giving me."
You were lying on Dean's bed in the motel room he'd shared with Sam in the small motel in your town. You still had no idea what the Winchesters had actually done there but to be honest, you didn't really wanted to know. Who knew? Maybe it was because of the creepy Mr. Thomas in your neighbourhood who was actually a vampire and they'd been hunting him? You wouldn't be too surprised about that one.
"You can still refuse to do the whole thing, Y/N. You don't have to sacrifice yourself for Dean," Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed and was holding your hand because it was trembling so much. Even though you tried to stay calm and relaxed you couldn't control your body about reacting in absolute panic.
"I'm not sacrificing myself, Sam. Cas said he'll bring me back together with Dean. And I - I trust him. I mean I know how crazy this is. How crazy this sounds. You're probably serial killers and tricked me with the whole thing but I still trust you because ... because I want him," you rambled and started blushing. You'd never wanted to see a person as much as you wanted to see Dean. You wanted to see his smile and hear his laugh. You wanted him to say your name.
"I'm going to start then," Cas said and gently placed two fingers against your forehead and suddenly, you weren't ready anymore. You were scared. What if Dean wouldn't want you as his soulmate? What if this wouldn't work? What if you'd never wake up again?
"Wait, wait, wait," you gasped and immediately the Angel's fingers were gone again. "I'm sorry but can you explain one more time what is going to happen? Please?"
"Of course, Y/N," Cas smiled. "Heaven is seperated into infinity smaller heavens, personal heavens. Everybody gets one and every heaven looks different. Soulmates share a heaven so that they can be still together, even in their afterlife. I'll send you to that shared heaven and there you can convince Dean to come back with you. If you've convinced him I'll be able to get you both out."
It came to your mind that the shared heaven thing was just as cruel as the entire soulmate-last-word thing. What if your soulmate wasn't the person you married? What if you were going to share heaven with someone you never had the chance to met? Would you still be happy? Wouldn't you miss the person you'd spent your life on earth with?
You quickly shook your head because this was a question you'd ask Cas someday later, not now. Now it was important to save Dean.
"Yes okay thank you Cas. Now I'm ready," you said then and turned your head around to Sam to give him a smile. He had explained to you that Cas wasn't able to get Dean out while he was in heaven alone, because Dean was finally at peace. His life was hard, too hard. The weight on his shoulders too much. Now you were coming and taking that peace away from him.
"But if he doesn't want to come with me, we'll leave it like that okay? You only get me out. Okay, Cas? Sam?" Both men nodded and a reliefed smile spread across your face, then Cas pressed his fingers against your forehead again and everything went white.
—-
You woke up in an empty, white corridor and for a moment you felt slightly disorientated. Was this really heaven? You kinda had expected something different because this, the corridor you were now standing in, was kinda too much of a cliché to be true.
There were hundreds, thousands or maybe even millions of doors and they all had numbers and names attached to them. Without knowing where you were going you started walking through the corridor and only stopped, when you walked past a specific door. The names on it were your's and Dean's and the number was 1-9-6-7 which made you smile, because Dean's car was a 1967 Chevy Impala.
You reached for the door knob but hesitated for a moment. Suddenly you felt reserved. What if he wouldn't recognize you as his soulmate? What if the was angry at you that you tried to steal his peace away from him? What if he was disappointed that of all people on this planet, the universe had decided to turn you into his soulmate?Quickly you shook your head and tried to ban these awful thoughts out of your mind. You were on a mission and at least you needed to try. Carefully you turned the door knob around and the door sprang open, only a little bit so that you could see the light that was coming out of the room that was behind it. Slowly you entered the room and immediately recognized it as the hospital you were working at.
You saw many of your co-workers including Charlie and, yeah even you. You were standing next to your red-headed best friend and were just about to tell her what your plans for the weekend would be. And then it clicked. This scene had happened before and you could remember every word you'd said to Charlie that day, which had taken place about three weeks. This was a memory but why would your shared heaven with Dean would exist out of a memory of your conversation with Charlie?
You looked to the other side of the room and were surprised as you saw Sam and Dean standing in the entrance hall of the emergency room. At the sight of Dean your heart started to race up and an unknown but at the same time familiar feeling of happiness started to float your body. They were both looking in your direction, the direction where your memory-you was standing and talking to Charlie.
So it was a one of Dean's memories. He must've been to your hospital before and that's why this scene was part of your heaven. But why had he been there? And why hadn't you felt the connection to him back then?
You made a step closer to the brothers to watch them a little bit better. Even though you could only see their back you noticed that Dean was looking different. He didn't looked like the other memory-people. He looked more three-dimensional than the other people, who seemed to be kind of flat compared to Dean. This wasn't memory-Dean. That was really him.
"Dean?" you asked and your voice broke so that it only came out of your mouth as a quiet whisper. Dean turned around immediately while Sam continued looking into the direction where memory-Y/N and memory-Charlie were talking which proved that this was really Dean. That you'd really found him.
Stunning green eyes met yours and made you weak in the knees. You'd never seen as beautiful eyes as his. A smile appeared on his face, but only for a second. Then his expression froze and his lips were pressed harsh together.
"Is this a new trick of yours, Cas?" Dean asked harshly and you could swear that at the sound of his voice, a million butterflies exploded in your stomach.
"Appearing here and looking like Y/N to get me to say yes to you pulling me out again? I told you that this time, it would be final. No resurrection, no freaking demon deals."
"Dean," you said again, this time louder. "I'm not Cas. It's really me."
Dean snorted and suddenly the setting changed and you were standing on an empty road. It was dark, probably in the middle of the night and there were millions of stars above your head. The Impala was parked not too far away from you and it was cold. You shivered.
"Why should Y/N be here? She's not dead yet. Hell she still has her entire life ahead of her. So what do you want Cas?"
"I'm dead," you said and made a few steps towards Dean, so that you were now standing right infront of him. "Cas killed me so I'd get the chance to go here and ask you if you'd like to come with me." You swallowed and took a deep breath before you continued. "Because ... because Sam and Cas need you. Because I need you, Dean."
"You're real?" Dean whispered and you nodded. It was undeniable that he was able to feel the strong bound between the two of you as well. His green eyes were boring right into your soul and you swore that no one ever had looked at you they way Dean was looking at you now. He looked at you like you were the water and he was a thirsty man in the desert. Like you'd be the sun and he was the moon. Like you were the only thing that truly mattered in his life.
"I'm real, Dean," you whispered back and then his lips were pressing against yours, kissing you like you were the air he needed to breath. His hands were cupping your face and your hands were in his hair, holding on to each other like you'd been drowning and the other one was the last piece of wood to clutch on. He was kissing you like it was the only thing he wanted to do in the world. When you finally seperated you both looked breathless at each other. His eyes were shining and full of adoration and love. It was magical. The hole in your heart was filled up.
You felt complete again.
