When most girls see a bug, their instinct is to squeal and run for cover. Yell for their male friends or male significant others to get, or even a very tough girl. I was often called upon to get the bug, not seeing that I'm tough, not in the slightest, but more seeing that I wasn't afraid of bugs. Not even spiders. And when I saw one on my window, I blew at it lightly, sending it on its way as the bus stopped. I suppose the frightened insect was attempting to get out the window. Good thing Silene had already opened it, to let the cool yet moist air inside. She always had an affiliation with water.
But back on the subject of me, I'm not afraid of anything. Not of bugs, or drowning, or loneliness, or whatever. Not even of death. And it isn't something I was proud of, I'm not bragging. It was just a fact of me, like how being a good singer didn't automatically make you a snob. Besides, I couldn't feel pride. I couldn't feel anything.
My 'best friend', my 'bff', whatever you call it, was named Silene. She was African American. A first generation American, actually. Her parents were from Zimbabwe. I think. She doesn't talk about them, though. She lives with a guardian whose out most the time.
She's very pretty. I might be in love with her, if I learned what love feels like. She is sort of my best friend, though. Only sort of. She always sits with me, and provides me with company, but we don't usually talk. She obviously enjoys being near me, with her enthusiastic cheers of 'see you tomorrow' paired, mismatched, with a calm smile. And I would enjoy hers... If I could. And I try. Some of the time, I do feel around her. It's slight, growing stronger, but it's something.
But the best thing about her is that she understands. She never gets mad when I tell her that I don't care about something because I literally can't, she never tells me to 'just get better', like everyone, including her friends, do, and maybe it's because she's a little like me too. She has autism. She thinks about things differently, and she feels more than she most likely needs to.
But... Her friends.... Well.... I didn't like them. There's no reason to trip on my words about it, actually. I was tricking you into thinking that I actually cared. Her friends are obnoxious, and they have weird hair and eyes; though I really shouldn't speak. I've got black hair and grey eyes. Y'know. To finish off the whole 'I look dead already so just kill me' look. But I'm not talking about myself yet.
Silene's friends had hair and eye colors of a specific color. Like, for example, her one creepy friend, Ki, had bright fucking yellow eyes and hair. At least I've been told. I'm colorblind. All I know is that she simultaneously scares me and hurts my eyes.
Then there's the so called leader in charge, a short girl who calls herself 'Rosa' and somehow gets to wear pants to an all girls school where the dress code is skirts. Somehow I get the feeling she threatened the principal into it. He is a bit of a pussy. She always has a very obvious crush on Chubby McBoobs, oh, I mean Ki.(She's a little chubby, but her rack is huge.) And she's very hotheaded. Her hair and eyes are red. Whatever the fuck that color is.
Then there's Silene. She is perfect and way too good for this world. Her hair and eyes are dark blue, though I can only see the dark and not the blue. But sometimes I wish I did. She'd look even more gorgeous in color, wouldn't she?
But it came to her stop a bit too soon for me. She smiled calmly, pushed up her glasses, and stepped off the bus, leaving me alone on the bus. As much as I hated losing the slight warmth I felt around her, I was not alone long enough, in my opinion. That was because Ki-P and Ro-hoe slid into my god damn seat not even five minutes after Silene stepped off.
I should give Silene a nickname. My water-bear. Silli. Wait, my? My cheeks feel warm.
"Hi, Noir! How are you doing today?"Ki squeaked, tilting her head, getting right up in my face. She's hiding something from everyone. I know it. I wonder what's making her pretend. I ignore her. "Are you going on the monthly field trip?"She adds. I am, because Silene is, and because we always do, but I look out the window longingly. Silene, get your adorable was back here and save me. Please.
"Hey, fuck-face, she's talking to you!"Said the angry crimson whore of justice. I mean, 'Rosa.'
"I am going on the field trip, as always." I sigh and answer, giving them a weak glare. They don't make it any easier. I could take them, but what would Silene think? Yeah. Hurting them is unfortunately not an option. But if it was. But Silene would hate me. I sigh again, frustrated.
"That's great! Hey, are you sure you're okay?! You always look so sad!"Ki, must you yell? Can you not simply express the use of a period instead of several exclamation points?
"Hey, Ki. Are you a microwave meal?" I ask. I smirk. "Because you're disgusting and pretend to be something you're not." Ki looks shocked, Rosa tries to punch me, and I get off the bus at my stop, walking into the old building I call home. Mission accomplished.
