You'd Do It For Me

Chapter 9- A Little Too Much

//TW//
As my eyes watch the clock turn to seven am, I sigh, sitting up- realising I'd watched the whole night tick by, with only a restless couple of hours sleeping. I grab my clothes and towel, then slowly pad to the showers, where I stand underneath its cascade, the water burning my skin pink, but I had no effort to be able to turn the heat down. I had no effort to do anything. I pull up my skirt slowly and then put on my shirt, blazer and tie- throwing Peeta's hoody on under my blazer, which was far too big- but I didn't care, it brought me great comfort. I didn't care about my appearance, or school, nothing- all I cared about was another day living, and knowing that my sister was dead. Gone. 

Once I arrived back into our dormitory, Johanna was up and ready, whereas Annie was cagouled in her blanket, facing the wall. I sigh, walking over and sitting down on her bed, my hand placing gently on her as she turns to face me. Her eyes, like mine, were red-raw from the lack of sleep she'd probably had from all of her over-thinking. I smile sadly at her, before she shakes her head and turns away. ''She's not coming today,'' Johanna says. ''I've to tell them she's ill,'' she explains, before mouthing at me that Annie 'needs time on her own.' I nod my head once, before wrapping my arms around Annie's frail and isolated body, saying goodbye for the day. ''You ready brainless?'' Johanna asks, to which I just nod my head.

We make our way to the girls' hall for breakfast, where I grab my plate and sit down with Johanna in the corner. She tries to make conversation, but in the end falls just as silent as I am, whilst I aimlessly push bits of uneaten scrambled egg around my plate. With my mouth sealed, the only thing which I can do is think- my mind eating away at itself bit by bit. Eventually, it's time for the morning's assembly- something else which I simply cannot bare. The floods of people line up around and in front of me, each one staring at my frail body and emotionless face- their eyes not used to seeing me so deep into myself. I stare down at the floor the whole time, Madame Coin makes her speech and we sing a few hymns- yet my lips remain sealed in fear that if I open my mouth, I open my emotions, and I wasn't ready to cry again just yet.

Finally, we're dismissed, as everyone starts to file out. I feel Johanna's eyes constantly on me, before we stop outside of the building, presumably waiting for the boys as we always do. ''You shouldn't be here Kat, you know I worry don't you? God, you're going to drive yourself crazy being a mute,'' she sighs, chuckling dryly at the end. ''Just know that home is the best place to be, it'll help you feel closer to her,'' she smiles wryly, before unexpectedly taking me into a hug. As I pull away, I smile thankfully at her, before nodding my head over to tell her that the boys were here. I turn around, immediately finding Peeta's eyes as he strolls over, enveloping me in a protective hug. I feel myself sigh into him, releasing all of my emotions in his strong, caring hold- my heart pounding fast as I tried not to lose myself and the façade I had put on. I had to be strong, not only for myself, but for Prim- I knew she would never want to see me this way.

Peeta's lips place on top of my head, them lingering for a moment as he rubs circles on my back comfortingly. ''Want to go to class early?'' He murmurs into my ear, knowing I didn't really want to be around anybody right now. I frown at him, before he tells me we have health together- the only lesson where boys and girls had mixed classes. Nodding, he wraps an arm around my waist and I stick closely at his side as we make our way to the classroom.

Walking in, it's completely empty- our teacher, who insisted we called her by her first name wasn't even here yet, and truthfully it was nice to have a little time alone. ''You don't have to be so strong all the time, you know that don't you?'' Peeta says, sitting beside me at my desk. I shake my head, adamant not to let myself break. ''It's normal to want to cry, or even have time off. If at any point you want to go, text me and I'll come get you and we can spend the day together alright?'' I give him a small smile, his sad eyes staring into mine- pitying me.