MASH Romantic (Chase Series #2)

55th Paper

55th Paper
Collapsed Wall

Nobody really knows how I felt about Jesca. They all knew I was with Aiana and that I'm too under her to even decide to let anyone have a share of my focus. They all thought wrong. I was the biggest jerk to say that I think I am liking Aiana the whole time I was loving Jesca.

I long for her, I do. Aiana was my second best. I was a coward and a douche, I know! But I never played with her feelings. What I tell her everyday was true. Except for the times that I'll say I love her, but I only meant less. There was this void in my system that only Jesca could compensate.

People didn't know how hard it was for me to look away at the simplest but cutest things Jesca did. It was an agony to divert my attention from admiring the unsophisticated her. Even innocent things acted my tool just for her effortless beauty to go unnoticed.

That's why I've gotten to name my phone as my hero. Kahit na magmukha akong tangang pa-scroll scroll lang sa inbox ko kahit wala akong tinitignan, kahit na umakto akong nagti-text ng tila encrypted messages, kahit na lintik na kunwari'y may kausap ako sa phone kahit wala ay gagawin ko! Basta lang ay hindi ko maituon ang atensyon ko kay Jesca.

Why? Oh, you'll know. Everyone will.

Nag aaral ako para sa quiz namin bukas sa Chemistry nang tawagan ako ni Tita Ciela. Agad ko naman iyong sinagot dahil baka si Mom ang hanap niya. But then again, I knew I answered immediately because if this was a bad thing about Jesca then I'm sure as heck hell would cut loose.

"Drian, busy ka ba?"

As if she had eyes on my room, I quickly shut my book and turned off my calculator. Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo at sumagot muli.

"Hindi naman po, Tita. Bakit po?"

"Jesca is feeling sick since this morning. Nagpapatulong sa akin tungkol sa research nila, related literatures? I know nothing about this, baka pwede mo naman siyang tulungan?"

It's almost midnight and I was just on my way to my bed after another problem to re-solve, but then who cares? Matutulog din naman ako bukas. I'll do it.

"I don't know, Tita. But I'll try. Paki-send na lang po iyong file sa akin." Habang nagpapalusot ako ay binuksan ko na ang laptop ko.

"Thank you, Drian! Pasensya na for calling at such crucial hour."

"It's okay po. Anything for," Jesca, "My tita po." Tumawa ako. Shit, it was too close!

I ended up staying late and looking like a frickin' zombie the next day. I requested Tita not to tell what I've done for her kid. I didn't want Jesca to think that I gave her a hint. I'm with Aiana now. I didn't want to be more of a douche than I already was.

If somebody would ask me about the things I regretted the most, it would need me hours to answer it. Because everything I've regretted were all my most. From the day I've raised my voice to Jesca up to the things I'm about to do and will do, possibly for the rest of my life.

I regretted not dancing with her in our graduation ball all because Aiana kept me busy, or even intentionally distracted me just so Jesca would go without someone to escort her to the dance floor. Harvey caught her though. Masaya silang nagsasayaw at halatang halata sa mata ni Jesca na masaya siya habang isinasayaw siya ng kaklase. I'm good friends with Harvey, but at that time I was damn irritated with the world! I missed the chance. I missed the fucking chance.

"How about we just dance ourselves outside?" Malambing na sabi ni Aiana. Tumango ako at dinala siya sa labas. Humawak siya sa balikat ko habang ang kamay ko ay magaang nakapatong sa kanyang baywang.