Pregnant With The Emo Bad Boy's Baby...Great

I'm Pregnant With The Emo Bad Boy's Baby...Great. {17}

Hey Ben,” Jenny said as she opened the front door. We went up to her room and sat on her bed together. “You’re looking extra hot today,” she said seductively. She was wearing a shirt that was mad low, showing off her breasts. She was also wearing short shorts.

I mentally sighed. I should probably dump her. She sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I forgot about Ali as I began to make out with Jenny.

We undressed and she smirked. “I love you so much Ben,” she said in my ear. I smirked right back at her. We both knew it wasn’t true and neither of us cared. “I love you too,” I whispered and kissed her lips.

I thrust into her and she moaned out in pleasure. Should I really be doing this? I was supposed to be with Ali, wasn’t I? No…I never said I’d date her. I just said I’d stay with her. Staying with her and dating her are two different things.

The next day in school, I walked in with Hawthorne Heights playing on my iPod. I would never admit it to anyone except Hanley, but Hawthorne Heights was my favorite band. I was famous amongst my friends for loving screamo.

I was Ben. The emo who worshipped White Chapel, Bring Me The Horizon, Suicide Silence, Chelsea Grin, and bands like that. And I did love them. Especially White Chapel. I told everyone that they were my favorite band. But there was just something about Hawthorne Heights that I loved. And technically, they were a screamo band.

Dekka came over to me looking pissed. I gave her a curious look. She walked right up to me and slapped me as hard as she could.

“The hell was that for?” I asked in surprise. “You cheated on Ali last night!” she growled angrily. I frowned. “I didn’t cheat on anyone!” “What the hell do you call it when you have sex with another girl?!” she cried.

“I call it sex.” She slapped me again. I glared. “Look, I’m not dating Ali! I said I would stay with her. I never told her I’d be in a relationship with her.” Dekka glared at me. “Ben, you were kissing her! You can’t treat her like this!” she said desperately.

I crossed my arms and gave her an emotionless look. “if she can’t take it, she shouldn’t want me to stay. She knows how I am. You know how I am.” “You’re an abusive bastard!” she spat.

My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?” I hissed. “I mean you fuck with girls and their feelings just for the hell of it! Girls are people, Ben. You can’t just do that!”

“People get fucked with all the time. It’s not just girls,” I said angrily. Dekka slapped me yet again and I shoved her away from me. “Stop doing that!” I snapped. She opened her mouth to talk but I turned my music up and walked away from her.

Reckless and weary
The truth has been buried
Held down by the hand
That refuses to carry
The burden you built
The lies, do you hear me?
The insult, the white flag
You refuse to carry
I'm letting you go
And all that you showed me
I'm letting you know
That you don't control me
The feeling is cold
And life is unfolding
Reckless and weary
I'm desperately holding on
So if you can't get a word in
Its because I don't care what you think
Don't be alone inside
A world that's filled with make-believe
Broke! Inside
This life, you can never be reborn within
I came this far erase my scars
Fight! This time
Inside, take a break from the lie you live
I came this far erase my scars
Find my control
Find reasons to beat this
Find truth below
The lies and the wreckage
I can't let go
I'm too close, too restless
I'm letting you know
I'm far too aggressive
So if you can't get a word in
Its because I don't care what you think
Don't be alone inside
A world that's filled with make-believe
Broke! Inside
This life, you can never be reborn within
I came this far erase my scars
Fight! This time
Inside, take a break from the lie you live
I came this far erase my scars
Five years ago
My life was affected
By years of hope and learning life lessons
You let me know
By leaving me helpless
What then was unknown is now unprotected
Im so!
Broke! Inside
This life, you can never be reborn within
I came this far erase my scars
Fight! This time
Inside, take a break from the lie you live
I came this far erase my scars

“Ben?” Chris came up next to me. “You alright man?” I shrugged. “Yea. Just annoyed. Chris, if you stay with a girl, it’s different than dating her, right?” He nodded. “Yea.” Exactly. Chris knew.

“Jarvis.”

I mentally groaned. Great. Just what I needed at a time like this. Pez. I spun to face him and he glanced at Chris. Chris held his hands up. “Got it man. I’m out.” He walked off. Such a great friend, right?

Pez came over to me. I expected him to beat the shit out of me again. But instead, he just gave me a desperately broken look.”You knocked her up. You ruined her life. Why do you have to keep fucking with her, Ben? Why?” he whispered.

I gave him my emotionless look. “She doesn’t have to stay with me Pez,” I said at last. “Ben, she needs you! She’s pregnant with your child!” he cried.

Anger rose in me. “Why do you say it like that? I didn’t rape her, Pez! She was just as willing to give me her virginity as I was to take it!”

He shook his head. “That’s not the point Ben! The point is that you both made a mistake. Her mistake was sleeping with you and your mistake was not wearing a condom. Whatever the hell happened, it happened and now my little sister is pregnant. You can’t just walk away though. It’s cold hearted and wrong.”

I didn’t have a reply to that. Maybe he was right. I glared before shoving by him and ditching school. I walked to the park, not in the mood to go home and face my mom.

This was bothering me. Was I really the bad person here? It was like in Death Note. Was Light bad for trying to bring justice? Or were L, Near, and Mello wrong for their means of trying to catch him? Was I wrong for doing this to Ali? Or was Ali wrong for trying to get me to be with her?

Was it really so wrong for me to try to bring myself some relief? I sighed. When I used to be obsessed with Death Note, I had never really understood Light. Now I did, in a certain way. He killed to bring justice and peace. I had sex to bring relief and forget the pain. People thought that what Light did was wrong when he was just trying to make the world a better place.

People thought what I did was wrong when I was just trying to save myself from suicide and cutting. I dropped my head into my hands. I was thinking into this way too much. It was simple. Very, very simple.

I wasn’t wrong.

Pez and Ali were.

I had never agreed to be with Ali relationship wise.

But…well…I had kissed her. Did that really mean anything? It didn’t have to mean we were actually dating. We had just gotten caught up in the moment.

“Benjamin?”

My eyes widened. I froze in place and my heart crawled to a stop. No…that voice…that choked, pain-filled voice. That voice I had loved. That voice I had hated. That voice I never thought I’d hear again. That voice that I had trusted. That voice that had left me. I then uttered a word I never thought I would say ever again.

“Dad?”