"You need to stop drinking and get your ass to work!" she said.
"Shut up!" he said.
"We're done. WE SO DAMN DONE!" she shouted at him.
They argued with each other that night. Cursing at each other without noticing something important.
Behind the door, there's a little girl. Hugging her knees as her tears streamed down her cheeks. But the door wasnt thick enough. To block out those angry noises of the voices. That once soothed her to sleep.
PANG!-
[ I hate my dad from the moment he slapped mom. He got drunker and drunker every single day.]
"Baby, come here." said the drunk man.
The little girl slowly made her way towards her drunk father.
BAMM!
Everything suddenly goes blank.
The little girl fell to the side as her dad slaps her small face.
"Daddy. That hurts! Stop!" the girl whimpered as her dad starts to beat her.
"MOMMY!! HELP ME!!!" she screamed for help.
She heard her little girl's scream.
[That was the first day of my daily abuse by my own father. Mom tried to hold on with his bullshit. Until one day, ]
"You- you're a drunk bastard who abuses his own daughter and wife! You quit your job so that you can go to the club and get drunk! And you also sleep with other women!! You manwhore! You're good for nothing!! I want you to let both of us go! You're no longer my husband! I'm filing a divorce document! We're getting divorce!" she said in anger as she pushed him towards the door.
The little girl closes her ears. Blocking the voices.
"Dont ever touch my daughter ever again. Dont even think of stepping your filthy feet inside this house ever again!" she slammed the door.
[ I saw Mom cried that night. I could see her bruises on her face, legs and body. ]
That little girl lies in her bed, crying on her own. Wondering what she could do. She was drowning. But nobody saw her struggle.
[ I developed depression at such a young age. I lost inside my own mind. My own thoughts are killing me. But, no one knows about it as I never tell them. Who cares, anyway? ]
"LOSER! YOU'RE THE SAME LIKE YOUR FATHER! USELESS! GO DIE! HAHAHAHA" said those kids from her school.
The little girl didnt say anything. She held back her tears. Knowing that all she wanted is to be dead. She dont understand. She was kind to everyone. But, just because her father abused her, everyone suddenly hates her for it.
[ Its not my fucking fault. So, why? Why did they hate me for something I didnt do? ]
"I never wish to be born in this twisted world." that little girl thought to herself.
Her bright smiles are gone. Leaving her fake smiles took over her daily activities.
Her mother went outstations because of work. Leaving her child alone at home. They had no time to talk to each other about those bullshits they're dealing with.
[ Mom never have time for me. I told her my problems once. But she let them slipped away. Made me keeping all people's bullshits to myself. At the end, no one seem to care. Even if they do, they will walk away too one day. ]
"Mommy." she called her.
"What is it, Sarah?" Her mother asked as she eats her meal.
RINGRING-
The phone rings before that little girl even say anything.
"Hello? Yeah, its me. Tomorrow? Okay." her mother sighed.
That little girl didnt say anything. She just stood there, looking at her mother.
"Mommy. Today, at school, a boy called me-" she tried to tell something.
"Sarah. Can we talk later? Im tired. I need to sleep and pack my things." her mother cut off as she clean the dining table.
She feels like crying. But she held back her tears anyway. She went upstairs. She kept telling her heart that "I shouldnt bother Mommy. She must be tired of her work but try to keep up with me."
And there's that tiny voice inside her head saying, "You're just a burden to everyone. Why dont you just die? I hate you."
[ I live to that voice until now. It keeps echoing inside my mind. I wish I was dead. ]
"Ewww. What a loser doing here??" said a voice to the small timid girl.
[As i grew up, I was suffering from all the beatings by the bullies. I cut. I felt so depressed. I just wanted to die. Why am I here? Why am I still breathing? I want to die.]
''Can you feel it? The dead weight of your legs from the sleeping pills. The soft throbbing of your pulse as blood is pumped out your wrists. That's it. That's what we've been waiting for.'' said that voice inside her head.
She cant tell anyone. She thinks that everyone is so happy to deal with her problems.
[I always thought that I would be alone forever.Because no one was ever there for me. I drowned in the darkness.I died inside. Sometimes, I wonder. If I died, would anyone cry? Would anyone care? ]
Sarah POV-
I leaned against the wall. Pulling my hair. Crying my heart out. Screaming on the inside. Feeling numb.
''I give up. I fucking give up.'' I said.
I looked at the my reflection on the mirror.
''I swear I was doing okay. I was doing so much better. I made so much progress. I almost even happy. I dont know what happened. Something went wrong. And now im finding myself, gasping for breath. I started to lose my mind. I never knew that I was going to grow up, wanting to die.'' I cried.
I cant fucking take it anymore.
YOU ARE READING
A Spark Of Hope (#Wattys2016)
Teen Fiction||UNDER EDITING || [ I just want to die. ] This story is about Sarah, a young teenage girl who is suffering from depression, anxiety and mental breakdown. She wants to die. She thinks that she dont have any reasons to live anymore. Will she win or w...
