Ellie

Chapter 25

I didn't know where I was going, in all honesty. I subconsciously drove, trying to get away from him. From the boy who handed his heart to me and watched, as I threw it to the ground and stomped on it. It didn't help my sense of where I was going as tears blurred my vision. I really was a bitch. 

Keaton was right, on that first week we met when we couldn't stand each other. I was a bitch. I'd repeat it over and over again until it was engraved into my mind. This was how it had to be; me, a loner with no one around me. No one for me to hurt and no one to hurt me. It's simpler that way-- with no complications. 

Besides, that's what I wanted, right?

"I'm so fucked up," I groaned to myself. Suddenly I brought myself to a stop. Looking around to where I was, I realized I had driven myself to the lake house. I saw a light from across the lake flicker on. Realization dawned, and I started my car again. I backed out of the drive and traveled down the road until I reached the house across the lake. 

Hopping on of my car, I ran up the front walk and banged on the door. It swung open, revealing a certain brown haired boy I knew could help me, "Jeremy!" 

I flung my arms around him, and he hugged me back even tighter, "What's wrong Ella-Bell? Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?" 

Shaking my head, I hugged him even tighter, if possible. 

Jeremy sighed, "Come on Ellie, come inside. It'd getting cold out." 

So I followed him inside, tears running down my face. We sat down on the couch and Jeremy sat there, letting me cry on his shoulder, soaking his shirt and most likely smudging my makeup on him. 

The best part about my cousin, is that he doesn't ask questions. 

Once I had settled down, I looked at the clock to see it was nine. Sighing, I took a deep breath and sat up-right. 

"You don't have to tell me tonight, Ellie. Just go  to sleep, tell me tomorrow, alright?" Jeremy told me. I gave him a weak smile and walked up the wooden steps. I turned into the guest bedroom and crawled into a ball on the bed. 

I'm so pathetic, was my last thought before drifting off into a dreamless sleep. 

The sun shined in my eyes, causing me to stir awake. Squinting, I rolled over on my other side and sat up, looking at the clock. 10:49. Sighing, I stood up and threw my hair into a messy bun before thumping down the steps. 

"Morning sleeping beauty," Jeremy greeted me, handing over a mug of steaming hot coffee. I smiled in thanks and took a sip. Black coffee was the best. 

After a breakfast in silence, Jeremy spoke up, "So, Ellie, what happened last night?" 

Everything came rushing back and I sighed, shaking my head. I mean, how could I be so heartless to Keaton? Oh yeah, mine was torn out two years ago. 

"It's a long story," I warned him. 

Jeremy smiled, "I've got all day." 

"Well, you remember how I told you about Keaton and how I hated him, right?" I asked him. He nodded, "Well we were friends. And well, Carter, Josh and Ethan all found out about Ryan beating me--" 

"What!?" Jeremy shouted. 

"Calm down!" I told him and after he nodded, I continued, "Well anyways, the three of them refused to talk to me. This was three months ago. They still haven't talked to me. Keaton was the only person I've had to talk to throughout that entire time. And well, last night, he asked me out." 

"Okay, Ellie, I'm confused. Why are you sad about that!?" Jeremy interrupted me. 

I shook my head, "My vow. I promised myself when mom died and when Ryan and I broke up when I caught him cheating on me. I promised myself I wouldn't let myself fall in love again, and set myself up just to watch my life fall apart again. So, I said no and walked away." 

"Do you like him?" Jeremy inquired. I nodded, "Is he cute?" Once again I nodded, "Is he nice, does he respect you?" I nodded. He gave me an incredulous look, "Why the hell did you say no!?" 

"Because I can't let myself get hurt again!" I exclaimed. 

"Ellie, Ellie, Ellie..." Jeremy said, shaking his head, "Not every guy will be like Ryan. And I promise you, if Keaton know all the bad things you've been through and stuck with you, he's worth the risk." 

Sighing, I nodded, "I know. I'm incredibly stupid. But it's too late now. I'm sure he hates me." 

"I wouldn't be so sure. Isn't your prom tonight?" He asked. Slowly I nodded and he smiled, "Is he going?" Once more, I nodded and his smile grew, "Well, then so are you!" 

And so, as Jeremy explained it to me, I realized how brilliant his plan was. I hugged him with a large smile on my face, "Thank you so much, Jeremy." 

"No problem, sweetheart. Now you better get going if you wanna have time to get ready and get home," He told me, glancing at the clock. 

It was 12:30. 

I ran out to my car, and sped out of there. I made it back to town in record time; an hour and a half was all it took. I took a detour and got out, walking through the gates and down row after row. Finally, I found the spot I was looking for. 

I knelt down next to my mother's grave and smiled slightly, I tear falling from my face onto the ground, "Hey mom. I'm sorry, I truly am. I'm sure you're scolding me up there in heaven. But I need to break my vow to you. I take it back, the thing about love being pointless and hurtful. Because I've realized that not every guy will be like Ryan and I'm not going to lose everyone I love. I'm going to make sure of that." Wiping another tear from my face I smiled, "I love you, mom." 

With that, I stood up and walked back to my car. I slid in and drove home, walking into the house. There was a note on the bar that read: 

Ellie,

I'm sorry for being such a horrible brother. I should've been there for you instead of icing you out. Please don't hate me. I'm probably out with Josh getting ready for Prom while you're reading this. Keaton told us what happened. He's a good guy, Ellie. Don't let him go. 

By the way, dad called. He and Joanna are coming home. She's not sick anymore, though she is bald. Try and be nice, you know mom would've wanted you to be. 

Love always,

Ethan 

I smiled-- he didn't hate me. 

Pulling out my phone, I sent a text to Ethan: I forgive you, loser. 

He replied back with a smile face. Looking at the time, I tucked my phone away and ran upstairs. Stripping my clothes, I went into my bathroom and stepped into the shower, rinsing away my concerns. 

As I stepped out, my towel wrapped tightly around my body, I picked up my phone and called Carter, who, thankfully, answered on the fifth ring, "What?" 

"Carter, listen, I'm so sorry I never told you about Ryan and what he did and you should've known because you're my best friend and we told each other everything but right now, I really need you help with something else," I rambled quickly, hoping she wouldn't hang up on me. 

"What do you need help with?" She asked, her voice icy. 

Taking a deep breath, I told her, "Keaton." 

There was a moment of silence, and I was almost positive she had hung up on me. 

Finally she spoke, "I'm listening." 

A smiled bloomed on my face. 

∞