Too Late | m.c [completed]

Chapter 24-The Fourth Month

Drinking helps, at least. It helps the forgetting part of all of this. The easiest part, I would call it. How did I get the booze, you might ask. One simple answer: my father. He stupidly kept his stash lying around the kitchen and the living room. The second best thing would have to be the smoking. No cocaine or marijuana or anything else. Cigarettes. My father was my source, of course.

I always knew this was so bad for me. I still know that, but do I really care? Not at all. All I want is for the pain to go away and all of those memories. The saddest thing ever is that I still have pictures in my phone of her and of us. My fingers linger around the delete button but I never really get around to it.

My phone ringing was what broke the silence and my thoughts. I groaned and checked what it was. If someone was calling or a text or an alarm.

It was an alarm.

My clothes were already on me for school, I already ate, I already brushed my teeth and my hair, I already did everything I needed to do before going to school. But I did everything before I was even supposed to wake up. And that's simply because I can not sleep. I haven't slept since the funeral. It felt like I didn't even need to, like I had slept for a million years and just woke up with infinite energy.

For the longest time, I contemplated on getting up and going to school or not. I sat there in my room, against the white wall with a cigarette dangling from my lips and a bottle of vodka in one hand. "Babe, you look so cool" would most likely be Hanna's words if she was here. She always quoted The 1975 songs when she was with me. I missed that. I missed her.

Finally, I got up and went to school. 15 minutes later of slowly driving to school, and almost getting into a car accident, I made it. Everyone stared at me outside and in the halls. I wanted so badly to just scream out to them and tell them to stop but I didn't. All I did was just fix my red hair and fidgeted with a string loose from my sweater.

Knowing my face was completely red, as red as my hair, was one thing. But knowing everyone is staring at you because they know everything is another. When I say everything, I mean everything. From Hanna cheating on me with Calum to Hanna being pregnant. People even knew about me threatening to kill Calum. That's why everyone's scared of me. But like I said before. I do not care.

My first class was English. I hated that class. The teacher was so mean and rude. She hated me too, but oh well. I decided to skip it but halfway into the class, I was caught by some honor student or whatever. He asked about me and my backpack. He assumed I was skipping so he sent me to the main office and they sent me back to class. I cursed under my breath to that kid. Probably was a freshman or something. When I arrived, my teacher snarkily said: "You're late, Mr. Clifford"

I rolled my eyes and responded back, "It's Michael"

"Mr. Clifford. Why don't you tell the class why you are late to my class?" she asks, eyeing me down. I turned to the class with a cocky smile and told them. "I am late because I was smoking and drinking at my home. Most of you probably know why. Don't do drugs kids" I winked at some people before sitting down in my usual spot in a slouching position.

For that, I got a detention. It sucked. After school, I had to come back to this classroom and be served detention by her. The devil herself. No, not Hanna. My English teacher.

During the detention, she kept eyeing me creepily. Since I didn't do my homework then, she gave me some work to do. I was scared of her in that moment and didn't want to argue with her so I did the horrific work.

After hell, I went home and started up my fireplace. I threw my backpack on the couch and opened it up angrily, taking out all of my homework and notebooks and textbooks and I threw all of that stuff in the fireplace. I took a swing of my scotch and watched the flames as they devoured the school work. My back slid against the wall, I ended up falling on my bum.

I feel so lonely. Maybe because I am but everybody left me. My father left me, my mother, Hanna and even Calum. I had Ashton and Luke. Luke. Luke has been there for me since the start. Since even before the start. We've been best friends since I could remember. He knew my parents. He knew what they were like when they weren't broken people like they are now. Everything was so much better before. It was so simply in my past life. Now I'm broken too, like everybody that left me.

Before I knew it, I was already in front of Luke's door. My hand lingered in the fist position, in front of his door. And finally, I gathered all of my strength to just knock. A minute later, Luke came to the door with a smile on his face that instantly dropped. "Uh, hey, Mikey" he smiled a little. I peered my head around the tall boy to see a girl in there, May. "I'm so stupid" I shook my head and looked down. "Why would you say that you're stupid?" Luke asked.

"I shouldn't have came here, I'm sorry for bothering you" I repeatedly shook my head and walked down his front steps. "No, Mikey. It's okay. Come back" Luke pleaded but I just shook my head and walked away.

All the way to my house where I let everything out. The tears soaked my shirt and the flames burning inside of me.