Where it All Began

A Hard Day

Maddie's POV
Today is always a hard day for me. I usually go through old photos of us and try to think of the positives. But, I have a family now. Alya and Taylor are 10 months old now. I can't just shut my family out today. Wes will be there for me. I can talk to him. It's all just so hard.. Ten years ago today, I lost my best friend. My other half. The one I could go to for anything. Logan was the best friend I could ever ask for. She was always there to talk whenever I needed her. When we were 7, we met in our class and immediately clicked. We had been best friends ever since that day. Then, eight years later, she had to move to the Dominican Republic to live with her grandmother. She hadn't always had a good home life but she was moving away to get away from all of that. As she was flying over the ocean to get to her destination, the plane malfunctioned, landed in the water. To this day they haven't found all of the parts to the plane, nor have they found all of the bodies that were in the plane. Logan was one of those bodies. When I found out that the plane had crashed, I broke down. Luckily I had Wes. He was my shoulder to cry on. He was there for me when I found out. When I spoke at her funeral. When we did the burial, but didn't have her body to lay down in the casket. When I said my final goodbyes to my best friend. Logan was the only person that truly knew how to get me to open up. Besides Wes, but even with him it took awhile. I lost my best friend that day. And I guess I can say I have never really moved on. No one will ever be able to replace Logan. I realize today that nothing has ever been the same since I lost her. If I remember right, it took almost 6 months to get me to join in on any extra curricular activities after she died. Going to the movies, having a night out. It was all just so hard. As I sit here this morning, holding my little girl in my arms, I realize how precious life is. When the twins get a little older, maybe around one, I want to try for another baby. And, if we get another little girl, she'll be named after Logan. I want her to be able to look down on this life and smile from where she is. I hear Wes come up stairs and into the nursery. Hey Love. I smile at him but I can tell that he can tell it isn't a real smile. He knows this day is always hard. He comes over to me and picks Alya up, setting her in the play pen next to Taylor. He then comes back over to me as I stand up in front of him. He pulls me into a hug and I start to cry into his chest. Wes leans down and kisses my head. He leads me out into the hallway so I can cry, but not scare the twins. I cry even harder into his chest as Wes holds me tight. He rubs my back and tells me it'll all be okay. I try to believe him, I really do. But deep down I don't have the strength to know that it will be. He takes me into our bedroom where he pulls out a photo album. I know you keep telling me that you can't keep looking at this because it'll just make it worse, but just look at the pictures. Think of how happy she was. It'll make you feel better. I promise. I take the album from him as he kisses my forehead. Wes walks back into the nursery. I look at the pictures and start to tear up. I smile down at the pictures of me and my best friend from when we were 12. They all seem like we were so happy. Things were so much simpler back then. We didn't have to worry about anything. I look at the album for a good ten minutes before I hear Wes come back into the room with Alya and Taylor in his arms. Let's go check on mommy shall we? I hear him say to the twins. I smile at them. Wes comes over to sit next to me and I take Taylor from him. We take the twins the the top of the bed and lean back. I curl into Wes's side and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I was content. Starting to feel tired I looked up. Fly High, Logan Claire. I love you. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and Wes pulled me closer with Alya asleep in his side. Taylor curled closer into me and I sighed, contentment and relief. It's never going to be easy, this day. Maybe this time next year there I'll be a little Logan Claire that can brighten my day. Maybe make this day a little easier for me. And if she is anything like her namesake, I give us all some good luck. I miss Logan so much. But I know that there is nothing I could've done to change any of this. Fly High Logan Claire. I love and miss you so much.