Lauren's POV
Off... That was the perfect way to describe myself today. From the moment I woke up today I felt off. I went to school and everything felt off. Throughout the entire day I just felt off.
When I got home I did everything to try to clear my mind. I watched a movie, read part of a book, and listened to music, but nothing seemed to fix this funk I was in.
After so many failed attempts to lighten my mood I decided to go for a walk. There was this spot that I always loved to go to just to be alone, so I headed that way. It was about a twenty minute walk before I reached my destination. It was this old set of abandon train tracks that bridged across a deep ravine.
When I started walked onto the tracks I noticed a figure standing in the middle of them. I was a bit hesitant on going towards the person because I didn't know who it was. After a few minutes I gained enough courage to approach them. As I got closer I recognized the girl, it was Y/N Y/LN.
Y/N is seriously like the perfect human being. She's the captain of the soccer team and she has won them the state championship ever since she joined the team freshman year, she's super wealthy, and she has been chosen as our class's valedictorian. You would think someone like that would have quite the ego, but Y/N is different. Y/N is so humble and she's incredibly kind to everyone she comes in contact with.
I've known Y/N since we were really young because we've gone to school together since kindergarten. I've only ever shared a few conversations with her, but she's always been really sweet to me. Actually, last year when some douche bag tried to grope me in the hallway she stepped in and pushed him off. She threatened him, saying that if he tried anything again she would make sure he regretted it. After that I never had any problems like that again.
I'm not gunna lie... Ever since I saw Y/N I had a crush on her. Throughout the years I've sat back and watched her silently, just observing her. She's just so raw and authentic, she doesn't change for anyone, and I really admire that about her. In all honesty, I think I'm falling for her.
I kept walking until I was only a couple feet away from her, "Uhh... Hey Y/N..." I said nervously. I saw her body tense up, but after a few seconds she slowly turned towards me and sent me a smile. It was different though.
This smile wasn't like her usual smile. This wasn't the smile that would light up a room, or the smile that emanated pure happiness, or the smile that could put the stars to shame, this wasn't the smile that gave me that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. This smile was sad, it was weak, this smile didn't even reach her eyes. This smile broke my heart...
"Hi, Lauren..." She spoke up, her voice weak.
"Y/N... What are you doing here?" I questioned.
"Probably the same thing as you" she explained.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, silently asking her to elaborate.
"Just thinking..." She turned her gaze downward towards the bottom of the ravine which was several stories below us.
I just stood there looking out in the distance. I didn't want to push further in fear of being intrusive so I just stayed quiet.
"Lauren, do you ever feel out of control?" She asked not averting her gaze from the rushing water far below us.
"Umm, what exactly do you mean?" I asked.
"Do you ever feel like you never truly have control over anything in your life? Like you're just a puppet and people are constantly pulling you in whichever direction they want you to go?" She explained while slightly moving closer to the edge of the tracks.
"Uhh... Well kinda... Sometimes I feel like-" I cut myself off because she kept inching herself closer the the edge, "Y/N watch it, you're gunna get yourself killed!" But she didn't listen she proceeded moving closer until she stood on one foot while the other one dangled off the edge.
I quickly lunged at her and pulled her back on the the tracks, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I yelled at her and spun her around so she was facing me. I cupped both of her cheeks forcing her to look at me.
"What the actual fuck Y/N!? If you would've fallen off of the edge, you would've been a goner!" I scolded.
She looked me in the eyes before she dropped her gaze the tracks, "Would that be so bad?" She mumbled.
I felt my heart drop and my eyes prick as they began to fill with tears. She doesn't mean that does she?
"Come on Y/N, you don't mean that..." I try to comfort her.
She suddenly grabs my wrists and throws my hands off of her face. Her head shoots up and she glares at me through her tear stained eyes. "Yes I do fucking mean it! I have no purpose, I don't want to be here anymore!" She cried.
I began to walk over towards her, but slow enough so that she wouldn't freak out. "That's not true Y/N... You're so good at soccer and you're the valedictor-..." I started but she interrupted me.
"See that's exactly my fucking point! That's all I am.. When people look at me all they see is another championship trophy, or a diploma, or a fucking dollar sign. People don't care to get to know me, they just care about what I can do for them. My teammates only care about me because I win us championships. My parents only care about me because I uphold their 'good name'. My friends only care about me because I have money. The only thing I hate more than not having any control over my life is disappointing people. And I feel like because of that, my life is not my own, like I am limited because of the expectations of others." She explained.
I stepped closer so that I was standing right in front of her. "So that's why I'm here. That's why I do this. This is the only thing that I truly have any control over. But I hate myself because I'm a coward and I can never convince myself to follow through. But maybe someday... Maybe someday that edge will call my name and there will be no fear, no hesitation, and I will finally take full control" she finished as more tears flowed down her face.
I reached up and wiped her tears away with the pad of my thumbs. Then I dropped my hands and interlaced our fingers.
"You never let me finish... I was going to say that besides being a soccer star and a genius, that you are kind and compassionate and loving and sweet and humble and inspiring. You are not just some polished trophy or a diploma or a dollar sign. You are a living, breathing human being who has so much to offer this world."
I cupped both her cheeks, forcing her to look me in the eyes. "I see you. I see the real you and I know that you are so much more than what people expect from you and what they limit you to. I know that you have a greater purpose and that you are irreplaceable and indispensable. I just wish you could see that too..."
Before I even had a second to process what was going on I felt her lips attach to mine. The kiss was so passionate that I never wanted it to end. I wanted to kiss her until she believed every single word I had just said. Then I wanted to kiss her even after she did just so she wouldn't ever forget.
When we finally pulled away I rested our foreheads together and whispered, "Please stay..." "Only for you..." She replied.
A/N: Sorry it's been a while and I'm sorry this one is a little shorter, but I hope you liked it!.. Also, I'm working on In an Instant, so I should be updating it soon! Sorry for not updating that in so long I just have a lot going on! Let me know if you have any requests!
P.S. No proofread...
