Innocent ✔️

Thirty six

I sighs and threw a towel around my body.

After that long shower I just took, I can consider myself being ready for the day. I got out and start walking to my room since I was in Jackson's room that had a bathroom, not like my room. And since I love being in his room, I used his bathroom to take a shower.

I got out and put my clothes on then start walking downstairs to join Miss Robertson and Jackson. Half way there, I heard Jackson laughing. His laughters were sort of loud enough to make me smile wide. I always loved it when he smiles and hope he always does.

"Morning." I said catching their couple of eyes.

"Good morning sweetie, come eat your breakfast, Jackson was just going to check up on you." Miss Robertson said with a huge smile on her lips and a coffee cup in her hand. On the other hand, Jackson was looking at me with a small smile on his lips, watching my moves.

Ugh, I should've waited for him to come check up on me.

My thought made me put my lips in my mouth to hide the smile forming itself on my lips. I walked closer and sat on the bar, on the other chair next to Jackson. His hand cupped the chair leg when Miss Robertson turned around to put her cup in the sink and pulled it closer to his. He leaned and said "morning sunshine" in my ear then pulled away and took another sip of his coffee.

I loved how he was lazy and all his moves were in slow motion. He was not caring about anything at all. Nothing could bother him.

But again, what he told me before and him living a hard life like his is probably proving that what I was thinking was wrong. He feels. He has a heart and he gets hurt. Guess, he is just good at hiding it and that was how lucky he was. I wish I was good at that too.

When I'm sad or hurt, I can't hide it. I always show it. Not asking for attention or anything but maybe because I know no one will give me any anyways.

"Here you go." Miss Robertson placed a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me. I smiled and softly nodded, silently thanking her.

"You alright?" Jackson leaned closer to my ear and whispered. I looked at him after digging my fork in the bacon and nodded making him warningly look at me but I ignored it and looked at my plate again.

It wasn't like I was hiding anything but I was seriously not feeling like talking. I was okay, nothing was going wrong but I was in a bad mood, one of those that force you to be silent and sink in your empty head.

I kept eating what's on my plate with my mind somewhere else I didn't know. I was quite and in my own bubble but again, I had nothing in my head to think about.

I had so many things in my brain that made me feel like it just stopped working and shut down. Jackson. Jonathan and what he could do. Kyle's words and his reaction when he knows I'm in love with my master. Not only that, I had sex with him and touched me in a way I didn't know I could be touched in and made me feel things I didn't know you could feel. Miss Robertson's words. My mom whom keeps hunting me and honestly I couldn't choose which one was the worse.

"Are you okay Ana?" Miss Robertson asked. I snapped my eyes to hers and nodded clearing my throat. I let down my fork leaving my plate undone then walked to the bathroom to wash my hands. Or pretend to. I felt like I needed to be alone and went to wash my hands as an excuse.

I opened the water and let my hands under it then looked in the mirror. Every time I look in a mirror in this place, I see something different. Someone different. It was like my brain was connected to the mirror and it made it make me see the worse I'm thinking about.

I frowned because of my crazy thoughts and just focused on washing my hands and leaving.

"What's wrong."

I sucked a breath in and let it out as a sigh. Without looking behind, I knew it was Jackson.

"Nothing." I softly answer.

"And you think I buy that?" He said. I looked at him through the mirror leaning on the frame door with his arms crossed.

"You should because it's true. Nothing is wrong." I said.

"Are you still thinking about what Kyle said?" He asked.

"Not really." I said. I wasn't completely lying but I wasn't completely saying the truth either. I was thinking about so many things, Kyle included.

"Then what is it?" He said when I turned around to leave but his figure was blocking my way.

"Nothing is wrong Jackson!" I groaned.

"There is definitely something wrong Anastasia! You can just tell me I don't want to talk about it but don't lie and say nothing is wrong." His voice was getting louder and I didn't answer, definitely not in the mood for an argument. "Did you get mad because I didn't wait for you to come out of the bathroom this morning?" He surprised me by saying catching my eyes that were looking in space behind him.

"Of course not! I'm not a child." I started to get mad.

"You got mad last time when you woke up in your room, remember." He said definitely telling me that I am a child. I shook my head. "Then what is it?" He asked using the same angry tone I used but again, I ignored him and looked on the floor. "Why are you so damn hard sometimes?"

"Hard?" I looked at him, interlocking my eyes with his.

"Yes. It's like you're hiding something." He said and I just shook my head in disbelief, closed eyes.

He grabbed my two wrists in his hands and said "tell me what is it for fuck's sake!"

I looked at him not sure what I should say. I don't want to fight but I don't want to walk away either. I want him on my side without asking much about it. Just like last time. I needed him close but I knew that it won't happen until I tell him what's wrong. A little problem thought, I don't know what's wrong myself.

"Nothing." I repeated myself for the thousand time this morning.

"Seriously!" He threw his hands in the air, raising his eyebrows and looking at me with anger in his eyes.

"Yes seriously. Because it is true Jackson, there is nothing wrong. I don't know what's wrong. I just feel sad. I have so many things to think about and it is making me anxious. If you want me to lie, I could just invent you something but I won't because I don't lie." I said.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

I looked at him not seeming to find his words to answer me even if I knew he wanted to.

I walked pass him and walked upstairs. I sat on my bed, in my room and opened my diary.

For the first time, I didn't know what to write. Usually the second I hold the pencil and open a clean white page, my hand start dropping letters and it somehow ends up exactly what I felt but right now, I didn't know what to write. Nothing came in my mind to write and no letters got dropped on the paper.

I sighed and ended up drawing just to pass the time but when I concentrated I realized I was drawing him. Again.