always His second choice..

chapter 2

Zara's POV:

Life.... life happens when you least expect it.

I sighed heavily and I got up from the bed, may be a hot shower would calm my nerves, I thought. As I opened the sliding door of the wardrobe, his manly fragrance hit my nostrils and yet again I was in depths of guilt, not that I have ever taken out of that feeling. All my dresses were hanged there in a very proper way like it should be of any newly wedded bride.

Instead of picking up my dress, I sat down on the cold wooden floor, thinking why I was here in the first place.

This last whole week of my life was the one I couldn't have imagined. The reckless actions of my elder sister brought me here in this place, where I was suppose to think that I am nothing but a liability.... a second choice. A tear escaped my eyes, weddings have always fascinated me not because of its celebration but because the idea of two people who decided to live together for the rest of their lives is utterly romantic.

Though, I didn't have any special one in my life, but whenever the time come, it'd have brought me so much joy and happiness unlike now.

I was an imposition on him, my inner voice screamed at me.

Cut the long story short, when Sawera backed out of her marriage, causing an utter panic in both the families, my parents and Omar's parents turned towards me. They didn't ask for our approval of this disfunctional marriage, they just declared that I will be taking Sawera's place and the wedding's gonna be on the fixed date.

I don't know about Omar's reaction to this, but mine was definitely submissive. The mess my sister has created behind her, wasn't meant to be fixed in the longest of times. I obliged whatever they asked me to do.

My Actions were mechanical, my tone robotic. I didn't feel anything when I was asked to sign the nikah documents. I had always dreamt of the day I would get married but now I knew better. Those dreams hadn't been dreams to begin with; they had been signs of the nightmare to come.

A sudden knock on the door caught my attention towards it. Safina Aunty came in with an un recognizable expression on her face. I got up from the floor straightening my cloths.

"Assalam o alikum Aunty!" I managed to say, my voice hoarse.

"Walikum salam beta! Khush raho(be happy)." She patted my cheek with a little smile now.

"Zara... I'm sorry beta... for Omar's behaviour. I don't know what to say."

"It's alright aunty. Please don't force me on him." I said as she smiled sadly at me and turned back to go out, inviting me at the breakfast table.

"Umm Safina Aunty!" I called her. "I want a favour.... I think it would be good for both of us if I stayed in the guest room." I lowered my gaze. I knew what I was doing but it was the right thing to do.

"Guest room?" She raised an eye brow.

"Yes! I need time... and I'm sure he needs it too. Imposing myself on him just because we're forced to live together, would only make things worse than it already is... so this is the only solution I think."

Understanding dawned upon her as she looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry Zara! I really am. It was our decision to get you two bound in this relationship.... we didn't have a choice beta.... sometimes, even parents had to take the most painful decisions for their kids, even if they know that it will ruin thier hearts."

She didn't meet my eyes, not for a single time and it was the evident that whatever decision has been taken to prevent the disgrace of our families, wasn't easy for them. There was a sadness and embarrassment in her eyes. I didn't have the courage to say anything to her, not that I have words to begin with my inner guilt.

Later in the morning, I was being shifted to Anoushay's room, which was on the same floor as Omar's. Safina Aunty suggested that staying in Anoushay's room would be better for all purposes instead of guest room. Anoushay is Omar's younger sister and one of my best friend, currently residing in Australia with her husband. I didn't know if she knows the mess her brother's wedding has become. We didn't talk much in a while.

The person who made this mess was not in our contact. Last time we know she boarded a flight to Lahore and that was a week ago. Mama and Papa were still in shock, especially Papa looked weak and glum. He become quite after this, I still remember the moment when he asked me to marry Omar. He didn't order me neither forced me, he was the only one who pleaded me and that was it... I couldn't say no to my Papa especially when he needed me the most.

When my mother announced the decision they have taken, I was dumbfounded. I immediately reacted with a loud No, obviously what they were thinking to do was utterly and purely pointless.

As if reading my mind, my father spoke up, his voice completely lacking the confidence, "we can't cancel the wedding my child. It'll ruin us, all of us. It will be utterly humiliated". I could clearly see the tears forming in his eyes. he was my Papa, never in my life I had ever imagined him like this. Defeated.

And here I am, in my sister's place in someone's life.... as his second choice. I wasn't even a choice to begin with, I was an imposition. God knows how will I going to live with that very fact that is killing me from inside.

I started to feel numb, a throbbing pain in my head was keeping me restless. As long as I know Omar hasn't been home since the last night which means he couldn't even stand my presence in his house that's why he preferred to stay out. His reaction was normal and I understand that. He doesn't want to see me as much as I don't want to face him.

It was almost late in the evening, sun was already down, forming an orange-ish skyline. All the events of this past week started to haunt me- this time pretty much badly.

A migrane made its way to my head that coupled with my burning head didn't really help my condition. I tried to move but my body felt too weak to even able to move a single muscle. There was a knock on the door and one of the maid came in with a cup of black coffee. She noticed my predicament and immediately move towards where I was standing near the window.
I gripped my temple, everything started to spin around me, my eyes beginning to water. I distinctly heard the maid call someone before it all faded to black.

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