The Black Queen

Eighteenth Entry

May 12, 1986

Things have not gone very well. Just to start things off: Roger and I aren't seeing each other anymore. Yes, after almost three years, we've finally broken up. But it was only for a good reason, at least, he doesn't know about that. Let me tell you what happened. Let's just go back to about two weeks ago. Do you remember what happened around that time? Roger told me about Freddie's illness. Okay, keep that detail in mind because it's an important feature in this story.

About two weeks after the discovery, Paul came over for an appointment with Jim. The boys were a month away from their Magic Tour and they were really hustling to get ready for it. Paul just wanted to talk to Jim about some financial subjects, stuff like that. I was beside Jim taking some notes to keep track of some information. I noticed Paul was eyeing me in a weird way. I don't think Jim noticed. He was too concentrated on what he was focusing on. I didn't pay much attention to it. Once we were finished, Jim dismissed me to make some copies while Paul stayed talking to Jim for a while. Once I was finished, I walked back to the office. On the way, Paul was walking down the hall. I stopped him to talk to him.

"Hey, Paul, are you still up on that lunch? Because I think I can do this Thursday."

"Maybe, I've been pretty busy."

"Oh okay, well call me when you have the time." I began to walk away until he called me. I turned around and stopped.

"I actually need to speak to you." he said.

"About what?"

"I just wanted to ask you: why are you so determined to have lunch with me?"

"I wouldn't really say determined, it's just you asked for another lunch with me and I don't really like breaking promises."

"You never promised me lunch."

"Well, still, I wouldn't want to disappoint you."

"Oh but you already have, Dahlia." I became confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"My dear, sweet, dahlia flower-"

"Please don't ever call me that again." I said in annoyance.

"You and Roger have been having quite the scandal, haven't you?" I felt a lump in my throat.

"Why are you making an assumption like that. That's ridiculous. How dare you say that."

"Don't try to cover up what's already been discovered. I went over to Roger's house to have a little chat with him for a while, and I found your lighter in his bedroom." He held up my silver lighter with my initials engraved into it.

"W-Why were you in his bedroom?" I stuttered.

"Why was your lighter in his bedroom? It was there first, not me. I just wonder, did he take it from you by mistake, or did you leave it there?"

"You know what," I began to laugh it off. It wasn't working very well. "I have to get back to work. Jim will wonder where I've been. So you can just fuck off, Paul." I began to walk away from him, and then I heard him say the words I wish he couldn't say.

"I know Freddie has AIDS."

I stopped right where I was. My heart was beating faster. I turned and walked towards him again.

"How did you know that?" I said in a lower tone.

"I have to ask you the same thing, because the boys would only tell their closest friends. You aren't one of them."