The Black Queen

Nineteenth Entry

June 6, 1986

Well things have just not got any better. First things first, I lost my job. I got fired. You know why?  Because the entire fucking world knows about me and Roger. The paparazzi knows about me, the boys are on the tour, and I am alone with my windows shut and my doors locked. Three days after I told Roger we could no longer see each other, I had come home from work. I went through my mail. I always order a magazine every week just to keep myself entertained. I threw the mail aside, not wanting to go through it yet. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of milk. The phone rang. I set the glass down. I picked up the phone.

"Dahlia speaking"

"Hello, dear, it's Jo"

"Oh hey"

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing alright. How are you guys doing?"

"We're fine. We just heard the news"

"What news?"

"You haven't heard yet? Freddie has AIDS." Everything fell silent.

"What?"

"Turn on the television and turn on channel 5." I did as she told. I went into the living room and looked for the news channel. They were talking about the possibility of Freddie having AIDS. "Poor thing. The press must be all over him, and I know how close you two have gotten."

"Yea.... Shame. I hope he gets better."

"Well we're here if you need anything alright?"

"Thank you, Jo. Have a goodnight." I hung up the phone. I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the mail. I skimmed through it and found the magazine. There it was on the front page: Does Freddie Have AIDS? That bastard. Paul just never gave a shit about Freddie did he? I dialed the phone again and waited for someone to pick up.

"Paul speaking"

"We made a fucking deal"

"Yes well I was bored and I needed something to do."

"You fuckhead"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth."

"I've kissed Roger with this mouth."

"Oh well, don't mind me, I was just on my way to the magazine company to give more details on Freddie's illness."

"No! Please don't" I begged. He chuckled

"You must behave yourself or else things will get out of hand. Listen, I promised my cousin another great story and he would be upset if I didn't give him anything."

"What do you want, Paul."

"Do you want me to reveal Freddie's details"

"Of course not"

"Then I must reveal your and Roger's affair."

"You fucker"

"Either Freddie's story or Roger's affair, it's your choice."

"Fuck you"

"Freddie's story it is"

"No wait wait!!" He waited for an answer. "Tell them about me and Roger, just please, please leave Freddie alone"

"You've made the right choice" he hung up the phone. I put the phone back on the cradle. I poured myself a glass of whiskey. And then another. And then another. I wanted to forget everything. The next day, I was in bed with two bottles of wine. The phone next to me rang. I picked it up.

"You fucking bitch!"

"Good morning to you too, Roger"

"How could you do this?! Everyone knows! Dominique knows!"

"I'm sorry, Roger"

"Damn right you're sorry! I have a tour to go on tomorrow! And this will just bring us problems along the way!"

"I had no other choice Roger"

"What are you talking about?"
I didn't answer him. I just hung up the phone. Jim called me a few hours later firing me. I deserved it anyways. I broke the rules. I ruined everyone's life. This is all my fault.

-Dahlia