Thirty Eighth Entry

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June 10, 1992

I went to go meet Brian at the restaurant we planned to meet at. It was a hot day today.  In the building, the air conditioner is on full blast so it's nice and fresh. Sometimes I need a sweater in there because it gets so cold. But once you go outside its like walking into an oven.

I left the office twenty minutes before two o'clock. I drove to the restaurant. Brian was already at the front getting us a table. He turned around and saw me. He smiled and waved. I smiled back. The waiter guided us to our table. We took a seat. We both ordered out drinks and read the menus.

"The chicken looks great here" Brian said.

"Try the enchiladas, theyre so delicious." I added.

"I should try them out." He smiled. I smiled back and looked down at my menu. The waiter came back and took our orders.

"Im so glad we're doing this" Brian said

"Me too. I can't stop thinking about that night. But this is really risky, Brian. Marty could find out."

"But don't you want to be with me?"

"I do. But I also have to think about my kids. It'd be really hard for them if we separate."

"That's right, your children. I completely forgot. Im being so selfish."

"I think we cant't see each other like this. I don't want to ruin anything. I also think it would be unfair to Marty, he helped me so much through the years."

"I suppose your right, but just know that I have strong feelings for you."

"I know, I do too."

He reached out and held on to my hand on the table. He caressed it with his thumb. Why do I get myself into shit like this?

-Dahlia

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