The Black Queen

Twenty second Entry

August 23, 1986

Today wasn't a very good day. It was about three-thirty in the afternoon. I had just got off the phone with Marty who was at work. He got a job at some television company as a camera man. He seems to not mind it so far, though I feel a bit bad for him since he went to film school to make his own television shows or movies. I guess he still has time. He's twenty-eight anyways.

I decided to go out for a walk in the park a couple of blocks from the apartment. I felt like I was suffocating inside and opening the windows wasn't enough for me. Children were laughing and playing. An elderly couple sat together on a bench, holding each other's hands. A young couple with their son, laughing and swinging him gently by the arms. The wind blew refreshing air into my face. I inhaled and exhaled. I rubbed my belly. The doctor couldn't determine the sex just yet. She said to give it two to three more weeks. I don't know what I want. Either would be nice. If it was a boy, his name would be Antonio, if it was a girl, her name would be Skyler.

I became a little tired. I sat down on a bench. The weight of the baby was draining my energy. I looked around the park from where I was sitting. A green ball came rolling towards me. I carefully bent down and picked it up. A little girl with pigtails came running up to me. I smiled.

"Is this your ball?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded. I gave it to her.

"Thank you" she said in her small voice. She ran away to the other children who were waiting for her.

I turned my head and was shocked to see who was also here. Brian was walking down the trail. I wanted to leave before he saw me, but I wasn't really gonna be able to do that because I had a ten pound bowling ball in my uterus. As I was walking away I heard him call my name. Shit. I turned around.

"Hi, Brian" I saw him look down at my belly. He seemed a bit surprised. The look on his face also seemed like he knew who the father was.

"Hello Dahlia. Surprised to see you here."

"Yea, I just needed some air."

"I see you've been busy." I chuckled

"Well, not that much."

"Roger actually told me about this."

"Did he?"

"Of course, he's my best friend."

"Right, right. I'm sorry"

"I honestly believe this was mistake."

"What is?"

"This baby. I don't think you should have it."

"I should be going home." I began walking away from him but he followed me.

"Roger already has two children and Dominique is furious with the fact you are having his child."

"So what are you saying? I should just give it away?"

"Just raise the baby yourself"

"I think my child should have a father."

"Marty is with you, right? Just let it believe he's the father."

"That would be cruel to Roger and the baby."

"Alright, well, just don't try to make anymore mistakes, alright? You've done just about enough."  He left after that. I can't believe he told me that right now. I couldn't lie to this baby or to Roger, could I?

Once I got home I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later. Marty was watching t.v. and eating some left overs we had the night before.

"Hey!" He said once he saw me. "Looks like the sleepy head decided to wake up." I laughed a little.

"How was your day?" I asked him. I sat down next to him. I rested my feet on the coffee table in front of us.

"It was okay. Just filmed some stuff, y'know, 'cause that's my job. How was your's?"

"Boring. I just went to the park and walked around, took a nap when I came back."

"Damn. I wish I was pregnant." We both laughed. "Are you hungry?"

"Hell yes."  I took a fork and picked up the chicken that was on his plate.

"Hey! Come on! Leave me some!"

"Marty, I'm pregnant. You should already know what's coming."

"Okay then. Here, have the plate then. I'll go fix myself another one." I continued eating while Marty went to the kitchen. The phone rang. I balanced the plate on my belly. I carefully picked up the phone."

"Dahlia speaking."

"I can't believe I ever tried to be friends with you." I heard a woman say.

"Who is this?"

"The other woman who's been with Roger." Fuck.

"Dominique... It's been a while."

"It has hasn't it? Listen I'm going to make this quick. I don't want you or that baby to ever be near Roger. He already has his own children to take care of."

"Excuse me, but he also is going to be part of the responsibility of my child and my baby isn't going to not have a dad."

"Oh come on, you've probably fucked so many men, how do you even know Roger is the father."

"Excuse me!? Roger is the only man I ever fucked. I don't know what the hell is your problem, but-"

"You don't know what my problem is? Are you seriously saying that? You fucked my boyfriend, my children's father for three years, and now you're pregnant with his baby. I think it sort of spells out exactly what my problem is. You just stay the hell away from Roger."

The line went blank after that. Roger tells me not to be scared of her but how the hell can I after that? This was it, I'm done. I don't want my baby to be involved with any of this shit, including Roger. I felt Marty's hand come on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asked

"Yea. I'm fine"

"Who was that?"

"Dominique. Roger's girlfriend."

"Oh fuck"

"Yea"

"What are you going to do?"

"Marty, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"I need you to be the adopted father of my baby."

"What? Why?"

"Because Roger won't be around to raise it"

"Doll, come on? Don't be fucking ridiculous."

"Im not being ridiculous, Marty. Please, do this for me. I don't want Roger to be around. I can't have him or any of this shit bear this baby."

"Why don't we just move back to Arizona, or if you want, we can get more beaches and move to Los Angeles."

"With what money?"

"You're right" he sighed. "Alright...I'll do it."

"I also need you to do one more thing for me, and you have to remember this when the baby comes."

I bet you're wondering what I told him after that, but you'll find out soon.

-Dahlia