The Black Queen

Thirtieth Entry

December 28, 1991

Skylar and I were in her room playing together. She had a box full of toys. She has an active imagination. Sometimes she goes into the kitchen to take out the pots and start banging them with sticks. Sound familiar? Yea, I think so too.

We were both playing with some toy cars Marty had bought for her which she loved. We pretended to race them.

"Cheater!" She laughed. "Cars cant fly!"

"Yes they can!" Whoosh!" I made the car I had fly and drive around her. She began to do the same thing. "Okay, I think its time for a bath."

"Mom, nooo" she whined."

"C'mon, you smell stinky."  I took her to the bathroom. I turned on the faucet and let the warm water fill the tub. I undressed her. I let her go in. I brought her bath toys so she can play with them while she was bathing. I turned off the faucet when it was filled up. I took some shampoo into my hand and gently washed her hair.

"Mommy" she called me

"Yea, my cielo?"

"What was my daddy like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was he a nice man?"

"He was."

"Tell me more about him." I took a scoop of water and rinsed her hair.

"Okay, he was a very handsome man-" she began to giggle. "He had beautiful blue eyes, just like you." She smiled. "And he was very nice to me the first time we met."

"What did he do?"

"He took me to a restaurant. He wanted to get to know me better. He was also very busy sometimes. He became very busy."

"Is that why he never is with us?"

"Yea, thats why."

"Doesn't he ever have time to visit us?"

"No, he's too busy. But you know what? He told me he wished he could be with you, and hug you. He loves you so much."

"I wish I could meet him."

This was the first time Skylar has ever asked me about her father. It broke my heart to see her wish to meet her dad like that. She really wants to meet him. But I can't let her.

-Dahlia