(#1) My Survey Dude

*70 / heartache

(don't kill me. get your tissues out)

| willow's house @ 4:30p.m. |

Laying on my bed with soft music on in the background I can't help but re-read my conversation with Reese. A pang of longing shoots through me. I've not seen him in three weeks, we've spoke on the phone a few times but even then something about him seemed off.

He's not been at college, which is understandable but why can't he make an effort to at least respond to my texts or even come and visit me?

Just then the doorbell rings. It's probably the pizza I ordered.

Once I'm downstairs, I throw open the door only to be greeted with a smiling Reese.

Whywhywhywhywhy

I wince at my choice of clothes: pyjama shorts and a tank top. My hair is pulled up in a messy bun and I look like a mess.

"Hi," he smiles. He seems nervous and uncertain which is very unlike Reese. "Sorry I came unannounced, I just wanted to see you."

I nod.

"Hey."

I open the door wide enough for him to come inside.

Why does this feel so awkward?

I take Reese to my room and he sits on the corner of my bed. I sit leaning against the headboard, staring at him.

His sandy blonde-brown hair, his blue eyes that are my entire sky and his kisses that make me feel alive.

Oh and his smile.

He turns to look at me.

"How was your interview?" I begin.

"It was great, I got the job."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Thanks babe."

Babe. Babe. Babe.

We end up sitting in silence and it's killing me because I haven't got a clue as to what's going on. My heart aches and this is the first time I have ever thought this but why can't we just be strangers talking over the phone?

"I need to tell you something." Reese says quietly.

Don't break up with me, please.

"Okay."

Reese walks over to my side of the bed and sits next to me. He takes my hand and begins playing with my fingers and I melt.

"Remember when I told you Dad was moving and I had to help him?"

"Yeah..."

"Well...he is moving and...I'm moving with him."

It takes a second too long for me to register what he's just said.

"Wait, what?"

"Willow, my dad is moving countries."

"What? Why?" I feel like crying but the tears are stuck in my throat.

"He wants a fresh start."

"What about you?"

"Willow, everything reminds me of mum and I hate it. I hate that I keep crying whenever I step foot into my own home and I'm failing college so bad. How am I ever going to get into uni?"

"But-"

Reese sighs and buries his face in his hands. He looks a mess and I want to cry but I can't.

He wraps his arm around me and I feel so at home that it hurts.

"When are you...moving?" My voice breaks and that's when the tears spill out.

"Two days." Reese swallows.

"And you tell me now?"

"Willow, I'm sorry. Do you know how difficult this was? I've wanted to be with you for so long and when we finally get together, I have to move."

He leans close and wipes the tears off my face.

"Don't touch me." I whisper.

Hurt flashes in his eyes and I feel so bad but why why why does he have to fucking move.

"Willow, I'm sorry."

"Where are you moving to?"

"America."

The other side of the world.

I swallow.

"Okay."

He stares at me and I sob.

"Is that it?"

I don't say anything.

He leans close and kisses away the tears and I don't have it in me to tell him to leave me alone because I'm so in love with this boy that it hurts.

"Baby...I'm sorry."

"Why can't...you stay? It's not fair. What about that job you got?"

"It's in...LA."

I stare at him with my mouth open before getting off the bed.

"You've known for ages and you tell me now?"

"What did you want me to say? Oh I'm leaving."

"Anything is better than telling me two days before."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't get to treat me like this! Don't you think I deserve to know?" All the pain has vanished and is replaced with pure anger.

"I should have told you before, I'm sorry. I keep screwing everything up, Willow. I...don't know what else to do. I don't want to let mum down."

He looks so sad and I feel like a bitch for sounding so selfish. It isn't about me, it's about him.

Reese walks towards me and I don't stop him. I don't stop him when he pulls me into his arms. I don't stop him when he presses his lips to mine. I don't stop him when he kisses away my tears and pecks light kisses on my neck. I don't stop him when he repeatedly tells me he loves me and I don't stop him when he whispers goodbye and walks away.

+ + +

"after all this time."

"always"

(QOTD :: who is your role model?)

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