(#1) My Survey Dude

*58 / everything is blue

location:  hospital
| everything is blue |

"Reese." I say quietly, standing in the doorway of the hospital room. His back is to me and his hands are shoved deeply in his pockets. I don't have to see his face to know how defeated he looks.

He turns around as he hears me speak and that's when I see his mother lying on the hospital bed with no life in her at all.

Oh God.

"I'm so sorry for your loss..." The nurse begins but Reese shakes his head and quickly walks out of the room, leaving his dad sitting helplessly in the corner holding his wife's lifeless hand.

I follow Reese out.

"Reese."

He's walking so fast, it's difficult to keep up.

"Reese. Wait, please."

Once I'm beside him, I briefly touch his arm but he flinches away from my touch.

"Fuck." He curses as we reach a dead end. He sighs as he turns to face me.

I've never seen so much pain in anyone before.

"Oh, Reese." I whisper.

He begins sobbing, covering his face with his hands whilst leaning against the wall because there's no where else to go.

My eyes become watery and I can't find the words to say anything because what are you supposed to say to a teenage boy who's just lost their mother?

"It will get better. It will become easier." Sounds way too pointless because it takes months and months to finally accept the loss of someone so close to you.

"I'm...sorry." He swallows back a sob and I'm shaking my head as I reach out to him. And suddenly arms are everywhere and he's burying his face in my neck and all I can hear are heartbreaking cries and all I can feel is his body shaking.

"I wasn't...there." He says against my neck.

"It's okay." I tell him.

"It isn't though is it." He pulls back and his eyes are red, as is his face. His hair is a mess and he's never looked so disheveled before. He's still crying as he looks at me.

"I'm so sorry."

He shrugs.

"Don't."

"Your mum's in a better place, you know that."

"I should have known. Dad kept telling me she had weeks left but I never listened...I didn't want to accept it. He kept reminding me. And then I moved out and fucked everything up."

"You didn't fuck anything up."

"You wouldn't know."

I reach out and touch his hand and he makes eye contact with me. His eyes are so amazingly blueblueblue.

he's still crying.

And all of a sudden he isn't the cocky, arrogant, flirty boy who I know so well. He's Reese and that's when I realise that behind his confident facade, he's slowly breaking.

And now he's lost his mother.

He's still looking at me and God his eyes are so blueblueblue and the tears are still falling and he can't stop them.

The heartbreak and the pain is written all over his face and I don't know what to do to help him.

"You...missed Chemistry." It isn't a question, but more of a statement.

"Obviously. It's pretty shit without you."

The corners of his mouth lift up but his eyes are still teary and his smile isn't real.

And he isn't Chris Evans anymore. Nor is he the stupid, egoistic survey dude. He's just Reese and I've never wanted to know him as much as I do now.

+ + +

(edit: reading this back made me cry all over again.)

listen to : colors / halsey

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