I Don't Even Know ❇ malum au

2

Picture at top/side is how Ash looks :)

Dear Journal?
(I would write dear diary, but dear journal is more manly)

You know what?  Fuck it...

Dear Friend,

I honestly don't think that I can live without Ash.  I mean, I know that makes me sound clingy and desperate or whatever, but you know?

Well, you don't know cause you're an empty book, yeah...

*awkward silence*

And the fact that my dad is being a piece of shit right now doesn't make this any easier.

I need someone in my life to talk to.

I'm about to just start talking to myself, cause you know - I've never done that before...

Damnit!

I can't do this much longer, Friend!  My dad is forgetting about me and my bestfriend is moving on with his life!!!

I know, I know - I'm a piece of shit, cause I'm supposed to be happy for him.

I am happy for him!

I'm just sad for me as well...

I don't think that I'm losing weight like Ash said I was...

I think I'm actually gaining weight.

Though, it's gotten to the point of where I'm just too lazy and tired to get up and get food.  I haven't ate in like two days.  But that's normal, I guess.  Some people fast.

Yet again, that's for some type of spiritual or religion stuff...

I just don't know what's happening to me!

I'm so confused, and I hate everything right now!

Oh, that's awesome. Now I have a wet spot on the paper.  Stupid tears, stupid emotions!

Please, please, please, PLEASE tell me what the fuck is wrong!

Sorry, maybe I should just mark that out, yeah?

You're just a book. You're not a god.  You can't tell me everything, and help me like I'd like you to.

Wow!

I'm talking to a book...

Well, at least I'm not like over at Ash's and stressing him out.

I really hope everything works out for him. He deserves a big break and a chance.

I just hope that I don't do anything stupid, you know?

I'm scared, Friend... I'm scared.

~ Mikey