I Don't Even Know ❇ malum au

22

I'm listening to Linkin Park's album Hybrid Theory while writing this.  iDK

I really hated to be woken up early.

Especially when I had yet another hangover.  I had tried to convince myself to avoid the alluring liquid, but I just wasn't strong enough to say no.

So, when I heard my doorbell being rung, I threw my pillow off the bed in anger, put on my sunglasses, then went upstairs to see just who the hell had awoken me.

I looked over the three figures visible through the peephole, instantly calming down.  It was just Ashton, Luke, and Calum.

I mean, I still didn't like the fact that they had woken me up at noon, but it was okay - since it was them.  I had come to the realization that they were my only true friends in the world.

And I was thankful yet sad because of that.

I was thankful that they cared.  I was sad because I knew that they would be the only people that I'd ever be close to in life.  I mean, I was sort of okay with that.

I just didn't like the thought of my possibilities being ripped from my obtainment as if it were nothing.

I swung open the door, a sleepy smile on my face.  "Hey, y-you guys."

Then, I noticed that Luke held a big box of pizza in his arm and a wide grin on his face.  I glanced to Ashton and noticed that he was frowning at something in the distance.  I didn't bother to ask.

"Mikey Poo," Ash then looked to me with a grin, going to pull me into a hug, but I backed up and opened the door further - welcoming the boys into my home.

"Well, I'm jealous," Luke huffed playfully as he walked through the door, then handing off the box of pizza to Ash.

"N-no, offense - but why a-are y'all here?"

"Well, since Luke and Ashton are leaving tomorrow, they wanted us all to hang out," Calum said as he patted the blonde on the back, then walking over next to me.

"Yeah, dude.  I'm gonna miss your pale face," the honey haired boy said with a 'duh' tone as he closed the door behind us all.

We walked into the kitchen, Ashton setting the box down on the marble counter.

"Why don't you and Cal just go on to the patio?  Luke and I got this," Ashton smiled.

Great, I had to sit outdoors.

"Yeah, we'll be right out there with the pizza and plates in a few," Luke giggled.

•••

"Wow," the tan boy said with an amazed tone as we stood on the patio, glancing around at the surroundings.  "This is a huge backyard."

I shrugged, not really caring about my yard.  I didn't care about the home I lived in.  It had no meaning if I were going to be the only one there.

I then noticed him staring at a broken object in the yard, then mentally face palming when I realized that it was the scale that I had thrown out in a rage.

Oh, God.

That was embarrassing.  He didn't need to see that.  He had already seen some of the marks.  He didn't need to know the whole story.  Hell, I didn't even know the whole story.

And that was the scary part.

There was a few minutes of awkward silence before the two boys came outside.  I noticed that Calum was still staring at the broken object.  It made me hate myself even more so than usual.  Not only did I have to know of my issues, but so did he.