Not many people understand when I tell them that I have fallen into a deep and fulfilling, yet empty love with Malum...
What's wrong with me?
Lolz...
Dear Friend,
Ash and Luke, they left for America.
I cried.
But I'm still so fucking happy for them, ya know?
Calum's been checking in on me lately - like, a lot.
I'm holding him back. He shouldn't be worrying about me. He should focus on getting his GED.
But, one of the most unexpected things happened the other day. I visited my dad at his hotel room. Yeah, he didn't seem all too happy about my presence, but at least I know that he still exists.
At least I know that not everything in this world is a lie.
He seemed stressed. I wish that I could be with him, you know, Friend? I wanna be with my father.
But I don't think that he wants me there - not really.
No one really wants me, anymore.
And it's okay, I guess...
I mean, I don't even want myself - if that makes any sense?
I just don't even know, anymore, Friend.
Every time I shower, I burn. It makes me feel better, in some twisted way...
The burn marks keep adding up, but I'm okay with that. I know that I shouldn't do it, but who would care, anyway? I mean - hell, I don't even care.
Why should I expect someone else to?
I'm sure you care, Friend. But, you're just a book, now aren't you...
No offense. But, I still do have to tell you everything. I think it keeps me sane. Friend, you keep stupid, little me sane.
How does that feel?
My clothes are getting bigger. Though, I'm probably just washing them wrong. Hell, I still can't hardly even use the fucking washer.
I'm just stupid like that.
Ash and I still text, regardless of the time zones.
Guess what...
Ashton and Luke are now officially boyfriends. I think that is like the greatest thing ever.
Calum even thinks it's awesome that our best friends are dating.
The other day, I found a shirt. It's Calum's. And for some reason - I wear it. It makes me feel safe, you know? I was surprised that it wasn't too tight or something like that.
Wow...
Just, wow...
I'm weird, I guess.
~ Mikey
YOU ARE READING
I Don't Even Know ❇ malum au
FanfictionA story in which a hopeless boy acquires a strange reliance upon a little notebook. A notebook whom of which he trusts with his deepest, darkest, and most personal secrets. :)The Journal of Michael G. Clifford(: THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A STORY BASED...
