Chasing Sunsets

Chapter 1:

♪♪ So you find yourself at the subway with your world and a bag by your side...

Pinagmasdan ko ang kabuuan ng bahay sa harap ko.

Ilang minuto ko ring pinag-isipan kung tutuloy ba ako o hindi. Pero sa huli, kinuha ko rin ang mga maleta ko sa kotse at dumeretso sa loob nito.

May pagkamoderno ang disenyo ng bahay sa labas pero may pagka-antique ang mga gamit sa loob. Hardwood floor, classic chandeliers, may pedulum clock sa living room, dalawa ang kwarto sa taas at may balcony sa labas ng kwarto ko na kitang kita ang kabuuan ng subdivision – just what I wanted, just how I envisioned the perfect house I'd be settling in once I get married. If ever I get married.

Nasa mataas na bahagi kasi ng subdivision ang bahay na napili ko at medyo may kalayuan sa iba pang mga bahay doon.

Kung pwede nga lang talaga ay binili ko na itong bahay. Pero alam kong hindi rin ako magtatagal dito dahil mahahanap din ako ng mga magulang ko.

Ilang beses na rin akong nagpapalipat-lipat sa iba't ibang lugar. Wala akong magawa kundi umalis din agad dahil lagi rin nila akong nahahanap.

Mahigit dalawang buwan na rin mula nung umalis ako sa puder ng mga magulang ko. Dalawang buwan na mula nang pagdesisyunan kong lumayo muna sa katotohanan.

I just need some time away from all the pressure, to comtemplate and to heal.

Naputol ang pag-aayos ko ng gamit nang mag-ring ang cellphone ko. I hesitated before answering. I can't think of anyone who can possibly call me at this time. Especially because only a handful of people who don't personally know me knows this number.

"Hello?" Sinagot ko ang tawag.

"Anak." Agad ko namang nakilala ang boses ng nasa kabilang linya. Shit. This is how I always get found no matter where in hell I go.

"Mom."

"Oh thank God you answered my call! I've been trying to call you for weeks! How are you sweetheart? It's been two months. Are you coming home? Your father and I miss you so much and-"

"I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about me. I miss you too a lot...." I heaved a deep sigh, "But I don't think I'm ready to go home yet.

"Why? You know we can talk about this at home."

"Mom, I just need some time alone. I need to fix myself. I'm a mess right now and you know that."

"Serenity, you left a lot of responsibilities here. You just can't-"

"I just can't take all the pressure Mom, about the company, about Dustin, about everything. I've been holding this back for years and I don't think I can do that anymore so please just give me some time for myself. I'll be back when the time comes and I will face all those responsibilities for you."

She didn't answer. I hate hurting my mom... but I need to do this.

"Goodbye, Mom. I love you so much." Hindi ko na hinintay na sumagot sya at pinatay ko na agad ang phone ko.

Wala na akong nagawa kundi umiyak na lang ulit pagkatapos ng phone call na yun. I miss my mom so much. But I just can't go home yet. I still need to fix myself.