One Direction Imagines Book Three

Harry - Self-esteem Issues

I don't usually like writing these types of imagines, although this one is about him finding out about it and doesn't include acts of self-harm.

Please don't read if it makes you uncomfortable or if you are sensitive to these imagines.

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A new year is supposed to be a new start, a new book of 365 pages that can be written by all of us as an individual.

Yet the first paragraph had been written and you couldn't edit it or erase it; it had happened and you couldn't stop it.

A hair slide, a pen lid, anything that was sharp would do, but something that would fade so that you could hide it well. It did, causing new marks to appear on your forearms, the marks of the past which had come back to unsettle you.

Two years without this, two years clean and now it had all come crashing back down, suffocating you to the point of desperation.

"Y/N!" Harry called, the door closing behind him as you quickly pulled the sleeves of your sweatshirt down, over your forearms and wrists where the damage had been done.

"I'm home!" He called out again, oblivious to your emotional, and now physical, pain.

"I'm coming!" You replied, your voice slightly shaky as you wiped the tears that had fallen, the dark cloud of depression following you, but it was a little easier to hide from Harry now that you had let some of the rain out from its storm.

He smiled once you entered the front room, reaching out to wrap his arms around you as his head found the warmth of your shoulder comforting.

"Hey, I've missed you today." He cooed, after spending the day with Liam.

They're Fifa antics videoed and uploaded onto Liam's Instagram, both of them looking happy as they pressed the buttons on their controllers vigorously, none of them wanting to settle for second.

You blinked a few times, hoping any traces of tears would be hidden after the dark cloud above you had ruptured, causing the first break down of the year.

"Did you miss me?" He asked, pulling away to look at you, his green eyes bright and happy.

"Yeah, of course I did." You smiled, genuine with your answer, yet wondering what it was about you that drew him to you.

But like a moth to the light, he was and  you loved him with everything you were, but sometimes you wished he didn't love you. Sometimes it felt like pity more than love and even with Harry's reassurance that he was here to stay, so we're your insecurities.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asked, nestling his face back into your neck as you hugged him back, trying not to make it obvious that your shoulders were tensed.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." You replied, nodding your head as he grinned, leading you over to the couch where he sat you down before grabbing a movie from the coffee table.

"Love Actually, we love it." He giggled, putting the disk into the DVD player before running back to the couch and planting himself next to you, his arms wrapping around you as he settled against you.

You relaxed in his arms, wondering how you were going to get through this year.

Ever since you had met Harry you had stopped, his green eyes and his kind heart melting you into a state of contentment.

Yet now, the relapse had happened out of insecurity.

You thought they had left, but they hadn't. They hadn't really gone, they had just been waiting for the right moment to strike, letting you know that they were still there.