A New Dauntless Legend

Chapter 27

"We didn't think you were going to show up." Lindsay says a so sit down.

I sit down at our usual table in the cafeteria for lunch. I sit in between Madison and Shawn. Everyone is sad and grieving over...him. Madison and Shawn have been trying to comfort me. We were the three closest people to...him before...yeah.

"I was just in my fear landscape." I say

"Still five?" Raylan asks

"Yeah." I say remembering my last fear.

I look down at my empty plate.

"You saw him in there, didn't you?" Madison asks

I nod my head.

"My last fear was him dying because of me." I explain "We wee in the Pit. We were walking towards each other, well I was running, then someone comes up and stabs...him, and says 'If you had done what I said this wouldn't have happened' and then he left. There was more to it but I really don't want to go into the detail."

"Completely understandable." Shawn says

Shawn rubs my back. He knows I'm in pain. Shawn was...his best friend. He understands that I'm hurting a lot right now.

"It's been a week, Taylor." Shawn whispers in my ear "We need to...check out...his apartment."

"I know." I say "I don't want to, but let's get it over with."

We get up and head to...his apartment. He always had a spare key under the mat. We get in and I can still feel his presence here.

We just stop in the middle of the apartment. We don't say anything. We just look at each other and the tears just flow out. We reach each other and I'm crying into Shawn's shirt and he is crying into my shoulder. Because he is taller than me he has to bend his neck down to get to my shoulder.

I go into his room. I walk over to his bed and pick up the blanket on top of his bed. I put it up to my nose. It smells like Taren: sweat, and lemon.

I can't help but let a few tears fall. This was the blanket he let me use during my initiation and I was attacked by Patrick, Ryan, and one other. Taren rescued me and took me to his apartment. He let me sleep with this. The blanket is a soft, almost plush, black and dark grey blanket. It is a really nice, comfy, soft, long blanket. The blanket is 8 feet in length and 7 feet in width.

I remember I wrapped myself up in this blanket. It smelled like him at the time and it still smells like him.

"Keep that blanket, Taylor." Shawn says standing in the doorway "He told me about that night and how you used that blanket. Keep it."

I look at him and mouth "thank you". He nods. I walk over to the night stand. He loved music. I open up his radio to see what song is in there. Only You by Yazoo. I hit play and the song starts. Only You was one of his favorite songs. I start to tear up. I have cried so much this past week and I know it's not going to stop.

The next song plays. It's Find You by Zedd. Taren made a CD of his favorite songs. He constantly has it playing. I pick up the CD and I read what songs are on there.

1. Only You by Yazoo
2. Find You by Zedd
3. Radioactive by Imagine Dragons
4. Pompeii by Bastille
5. I See Fire by Ed Sheeran
6. Little Toy Guns by Carrie Underwood
7. Brave by Josh Groban
8. Run Boy Run by Woodkid
9. Geronimo by Sheppard
10. Fight Song by Rachel Platten

These songs aren't in order he just put on which top ten songs are his favorite.

"Do you want it or would it be too painful?" Shawn asks standing next to me.

"I don't know." I say

"Why don't you take it." Shawn says taking the CD out of the radio.

He gives it to me and I take it out of his hand. We continue to work through his room. Shawn is going through drawers of clothing.

"He had a lot of dri fit shirts." Shawn says

"Yeah," I say "he loved dri fit."

We finish going through his apartment. We head back to our apartments. I put the blanket on my bed and the CD on my nightstand.

It's now been about two months since he...died. I've been working for about a week. I'm still depressed.

TOBIAS's POV

Every time I look at Taylor I can tell she is still in pain. She hasn't been herself since Taren died. It's been two months since. She hasn't smiled or laughed. We have all tried to cheer her up, but nothing is working.

"Tobias," Tris says walking up to me "do you think we will ever get our daughter back?"

"I...honestly I don't know." I say

Tris wraps her arms around my waist. She rests her head on my back. We are looking over the chasm.

Taylor hasn't done much since Taren. Yes she is going back to work, but she doesn't have her head in the game. She has been going into her fear landscape more. She is doing what I used to do.

TAYLOR's POV

Just got out of my fear landscape. I keep going in. It's the only way I can see him. I've learned to get myself out before he gets stabbed. It took me a few tries but I finally got it. I can still see him and his eyes and his smile. Oh I miss his smile. I stay in the sim room chair, curl up into a ball, and I continue to cry. Before I know it, I've fallen asleep.

(A/N)

Hey y'all hope you enjoyed the chapter! As you can tell Taylor is...very upset about this. I don't blame her though. Tell me what y'all think.

Please,
Comment!!
Vote!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent I just love the series