The Epitome (Ep-ih-tome) Of Epicness

The Battle of AWESOMENES!!! (Epicness)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was supposed to be written two days ago, lol. I'm only writing this one now because one of my friends had to get on my ass about it. XD. I love my awesome friends <3 (though they are clearly not as awesome as me). I was hopping for a visit from the plot bunny, but he never showed. :/. So I'm completely stuck without ANY idea what to write. Waaaahhhh! T_T. This is sooooo going to suck!    

 I sat on the swing at the park, slowly rocking back and fourth. I skipped school again. It's just so boring!! And Jeeze, I don't get why the people think the F's I get are so bad!!! Don't they understand that "F" stands for "Fabulous"!? All my friends get A's and B's as far as I know, and they're always praised for it! "A" and "B" mean "Awful" and "Bad". WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!?!?!?!  

 The swing screeched obnoxiously as it held my weight. And I'm not even that big! Hmph! I mean, sure, I can be a bit of a couch potato, but...OH WAIT!! HAHA! I just made a joke! 'Cause, you know, I can turn into a potato 'n stuff. I hoped that one of my friends would stop by, because I was to lazy to visit them. I'm pretty sure they skipped school too. With a sigh, I pulled out my Ipod and checked Facebook. And, to my surprise, there was stuff about Willow's prank all over her wall!!!!  

 "Oh my god!!! This is such a win!!" I burst out laughing, scaring Henry who was perched on top of my head. This earned me a few curious/scared glances from the people around me. I looked up at them with a glare. "WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" I hissed.  

 The people scurried away fearfully, one lady dragging her child off the playground quickly. The small child stumbled after it's mother.  

"Don't people realize I'm in the middle of a very important monologue!?" I mumbled, gingerly taking the startled Henry into my arms. That eagle, whom I've decided to name Bob, screeched jealously. Within a moment, his head was poking out of my pocket angrily.  

 "I want to be held too!!!!" Demanded Bob. "Henry takes all the room up in your pocket and then all the room in your arms! I NEED LOVE TOO!!!!"  

 Henry glared daggers at Bob and flipped him off with surprising dexterity for bird wings. "Bite me! I was here first!"  

 "Henry! I didn't raise you to speak like that!!!" I scolded. The two continued bickering. I tried to stop them, but to no avail. 

Suddenly I exclaimed, "crap! I forgot!"  

 This time of the day I go through my awesome molt! Shards of awesomeness broke off my arms and legs and fell to the ground, shattering on contact. Unlike most people, I molt, and not feathers or skin like birds or reptiles, no, I molt awesome. That is just how awesomely awesome I am! Are you jealous yet? If you catch one of my pieces of awesomeness, than you become a little more awesome yourself. :3.  

That's how my friends became pretty awesome.  

With another sigh, I started swinging again. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my three baby quails. Yea, that's right, I illegally raise quails! They're just so cute! The three yellowish-brownish chicks scurried onto the ground and pecked at it.  

Though, the smallish chick disappeared. This wasn't anything new. He was a mysterious little chick and liked to poof. He'll come back within a few days at most. I mark all my chicks with orange collars so people would know they're not wild.  

Meanwhile, the little chick, whose name was Phil strutted down the street. He new exactly where he was heading....  

*25 minutes later*  

 Phil arrived at Willow's house. His eyes gleaming mysteriously. "Oh, this is going to be fun!" He thought, grinning. He planned out all the pranks he was going to pull.  

First, he put the horse with the cows and put one of the cows in the horse stall. He super glued the poop shovel to a bull's back, and finally, put green food coloring in the well water.  

 And you ask how a 2 inch tall chick did this? Well......I don't know either.......  

 Just then, when Phil was about to leave the farm, a dog stood in front of him, growling.  

 "HELP!!!!" He screamed, trying to run away, the dog at his heals. He couldn't fly yet and didn't know what to do......      

Hehe! Well that's all I have for you for now! And what will become of Phil? Who knows! DUNT, DUNT, DAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Goes to join J3 in her corner of self pitty, even though her chapter was awesome*

 ~E