The Epitome (Ep-ih-tome) Of Epicness

Evil Plans and Rules... Of Epicness

I looked down into the cave where I could see my evil plan being executed perfectly. I had conveniently left my emergency stash of weapons right where I knew Scarlet and Willow would find them, and I knew Cassandra wouldn't be able to resist using those guns. I adjusted my grip on the rope connecting me to the quails.

"Down my minions! Time to wreak more havoc!" I commanded. They descended slowly back down into the cave. Once there we landed right behind the others and I let them fly free. In the mass confusion of the quails, I grabbed the emergency doll of myself that had so easily fooled the others and the walrus before walking calmly out of the cave, a wave of quails epically gathering behind me.

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"Holy s*** what the h*** was that?" Scarlet exclaimed.

"It was obviously a mass of quails," Willow said with a roll of her eyes.

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was one massive butterfly," Cassandra said sarcastically, "I think what Scarlet was asking, was why did they attack here? My poor ginger's terrified!"

"Hey!" Cried James indignantly from the back of the cave.

"Shut it ginger."

"Hey I thought all the quails were under Erica- erm Eli's control," Scarlet pointed out.

"Well the walrus controlled a huge mass of quails, didn't he?" Willow asked.

"Yeah... speaking of which... where is  the walrus?" Cassandra asked, looking around, "and where's Leah this time?"

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"Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" I cackled evilly. I took Fluffy out of my pocket and set him on my lap, gently stroking him while I turned around slowly in my make-shift root chair. The walrus looked at me strangely.

"Why are you stroking a man-eating eagle?" He asked.

"Why aren't you stroking a man-eating eagle? I countered, "That's right, 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT NINJA ENOUGH!"

"Isn't it supposed to be like a fluffy white cat or something?"

"Who says he isn't a fluffy white cat?" I said, smiling creepily.

"But... you just said he was an eagle yourself!"

"No, I asked why aren't you stroking an eagle. It's completely different."

"But... But.. I can see it- it's an eagle!"

"Dear, dear walrus, this is so obviously a white cat. What kind of evil mastermind would I be if I didn't have a white cat to pet?"

"I thought you were a ninja..."

I dismissed this with a wave of my hand, "Eh, evil mastermind, ninja- it's all the same when you get down to it."

"But that still doesn't change the fact that that thing you're petting is an eagle!"

"Dear, dear walrus," I said, shaking my head slowly, "I fear you are in denial."

"It's you who is in denial!" He shouted.

"Here, let me tell you a little story about two girls- one of which is so deep into denial she can't even see it..." I stared dramatically into the distance before starting my story, "There was once two girls, named Kiara, and Emily..."

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"I'm telling you, it's not true!"

"And I'm telling you, there's no point in denying it seeing as the whole world knows."