Shattered [Niall Horan]

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

// Catherine

Heaving my weight onto the walking aid, l had my feet carry me forward, the pace being too slow for my liking. That nauseating aroma -- that'd decided my destination -- only intensified as I closed in on the kitchen, the scrunching of my nose being present all throughout, as I squished my sleepy morning eyes repeatedly to rid them of the drowsiness.

Voices of the only two other people in the house transformed from vague distant murmurs to a clear and audible conversation taking place, as I stood at the kitchen's entrance, my presence unknown to the two engrossed in what seemed like a rather protracted discussion.

"Can't you be a little more careful? Look what you've done," Niall pressed the icepack to Brynn's wrist, which I presumed was burnt, as I noticed the girl resist a whimper, the folding of her lips and clenching of the eyes speaking clearly for the pain.

"I'm so sorry love, it's stinging like a bitch, isn't it?" He frowned at her, seeming terribly and in fact overly upset over the situation -- the extreme compassion in his eyes spilling it all. Quite possibly, my restless mind was thinking way more than necessary, but that look of sympathy and compassion on Niall's face wasn't the one to be offered to a mere acquaintance.  

It seemed as though Brynn was refraining from looking directly into his eyes, as she parted her lips to speak. "Niall, I'm fine, it's alright," She gravely declared.

"When will you ever pretending to be absolutely fine, every time you're no where close to it?" He studied her face, intently, that look of sympathy unaltered, as he carried on with his task.

"Niall,"

"Brynn for once, just listen to me and let me get this done with, alright?" It was a rather solemn order.

"I could do it myself, you know that!" She suddenly barked back, more infuriated than required, yet doing nothing to free her hand off Niall's grip.

"But I don't wanna let you," He didn't seem the least bit taken aback by her reply, considering how he clutched her wrist even tighter and pressed the ice-pack to her skin, the manner of the task being altered only by the greater amount care added to it.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" It was those few words that left her mouth, before she had her gaze locked onto Niall's.

The blonde before her imitated the latter of her actions, as his lips twitched with a tiny smirk tugging at their corner. "I do sometimes,"

It was silence that preceded, while he carefully iced her would and wrapped a large band-aid over it. I quietly abandoned their sight and walked away from where they stood, having kept my intruded presence unknown to the two.

Settling down clumsily onto the couch in the living room, my eyes held the sight of the changing images on the television before me, mind lodged far away into thoughts that I wasn't exactly finding amusing to ponder upon.

I knew those excessive mood swings that I had been going through since the past few weeks were post-coma effects, and there was no other way but to deal with them. I knew those eleven months that had been wiped off from my life would never be returned to me and I was bound to accept and live with this fact. I knew I had lost my baby and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that I could do to have my little angel back. I knew a lot. But now, I was afraid of what I didn't know.

What if I was unaware of things, that I should've known more than anything else? What if things had changed; changed so much that they were irreversible? My Niall was like air to me, I'd never get tired of him the way I'd never tire of breathing, but now I was afraid if it was the same from his side anymore.

I didn't know how long I sat motionless on that couch, thinking, contemplating and hoping all that I was doing was meaningless and unnecessary. Every time that face of his formed inside my mind, in would creep in the thought that it probably wasn't me but someone else, who held the right of kissing those lips now. 11 months is no joke of a time and for the first time since hearing about my coma last night, I was beginning to realise how much I had actually missed out on and hadn't a clue of. Maybe it wasn't right of me to deliberate so much over a mere conversation I had overheard, but something inside my mind had me thinking otherwise.

I didn't realise I had been silently weeping for so long, water having soaked my neckline, until I felt a hand placed on my knee and another wiping at the teardrops that spilled down my cheeks.

"Hey," His compassionate eyes had me almost give in to him and listen to what he was willing to say, but it was when I became aware of someone else's presence in the room, that I felt myself stiffen up and turn away from Niall.

That repulsive odour that had driven me to the kitchen earlier, was present once again, as I scrunched my nose and looked up at the girl who stood before me. Noticing the steams emitted from the white porcelain bowl in her hands, I realised the reason behind the smell.

"Please take that away." I demanded, gesturing to the bowl in Brynn's hands.

"It'll speed up your recovery," She smiled at me, causing my cheeks to suddenly heat up, anger washing over me as I struggled to control myself.

"I can't bear the smell. J-just get that away," I asked once again, only to have my demand turned down once more.

"Consider it one of those sick tasting medicines that you take and just gulp it all down real quick, yeah? It'll make you feel so much better. I promise." She bent down, placing the bowl onto the side-table, pushing it towards me, so it was within my reach.

"I don't wanna have this." I stated, louder this time, the gritting of my teeth and clenching of the jaws speaking for my escalating anger.

"Just a little bit then," She smiled that same irritating sugar-coated smile, that threw my fury over the edge and had me abruptly rise up to my feet, fists clasped on either sides.

"Which part of 'I don't wanna have this' don't you understand Brianna?!" I yelled into her face, taking her aback by my sudden change of tone.

"Catherine I was just-"

"You were just what? Trying to show off how caring, responsible and sweet of a freaking nurse you are?!"

"I was trying to help you," She almost whispered, eyes glassy in tears now; tears that seemed to have little effect on me. It felt as though I had no control over what I was doing. I just didn't care.

"Well, how about you get something straight inside that sweet little head of yours? I don't need you to help me all the fucking time, yeah? I'm not your playing puppet, that you have me do your way whenever and however the fuck you want. You-"

"That's enough now!"  A third voice roared out, having us both avert our attention to him. "What is up with you, Cath? She's just tryna help you out!" He protested, sturdily.

"I said I don't need her help. I'm great on my own, I don't need to be babysat like I was being right now, Niall!"

"No one's trying to babysit you here, Cath."

"Niall, it's okay,"

"No just- lemme talk to her, Brynn," He interrupted her.

"She's your nurse, she's only trying to take care of you." He looked back at me.

"I've been taken enough care of. She can feel free to leave now. I never asked her to be here anyway,"

"Cath, what is wrong with you?!" He asked disbelievingly, not anger but disappointment settling over his face now.

Those tears that I'd been fighting back all the while, broke free once more, dry mouth inhaling in some air, as I let a single word past my lips.

"Everything,"

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Yes, I'm very sorry for like 20 days of no updates. I went into a terrible crisis of ideas and every time I sat down to write, I ended up doing something else. It's been a pattern like, turn laptop on> go into ms word> stare> log off. This chapter is awfully short and not that good, I know, but I really needed to put something up, so here it is. Next update will be quicker though, bc London days are ending in a day and I'll be home soon, so more time to think and write. :)