I sighed heavily and looked at the clock. But no matter how much I wished it would turn into five o'clock, it still read thirty till.
"Phoenix tell me about your week?" Dr.Reed asked, watching me carefully.
I stared at the ceiling. "Not bad." I answered truthfully. "It was actually a lack luster week. No complaints here."
Dr.Reed raised his eyebrow, but left the matter, seemingly satisfied. "Is the good week because of Jace?" he asked.
I turned my face so I could glare at him. "No!" I snapped.
"It's not bad if he's the reason. In fact, I encourage a friendship with a positive influence. Especially right now." he explained.
"He's a good distraction." I admitted. "But he can't stop the inevitable from happening."
"And that inevitable being?" Dr.Reed pressed. I gave him a look that warned him to drop it. But I knew he wouldn't. "In order to face him again, you have to be able to acknowledge his presence in your life." he advised.
"I don't want scum like him in my life." I grumbled.
"Well the longer you hold resentment, the larger his role in your life is. He's part of your life, until you choose to take him out. To do that, you have to learn to forgive him. It's not a simple task, I understand that. But the longer you hold your grudge, the more it'll consume you." Dr.Reed had a point and deep down I knew it. But I wasn't ready for that kind of step.
If ever I would be.
"It's already consumed me." I mumbled angrily. "Everything he did to me was wrong. I hate him and nothing you do or anyone else will change that." I said adamantly.
"Something triggered." Dr.Reed said, sitting up more alert "You were triggered by something this past week. What happened this week Phoenix?" he asked.
I sat up and looked at the clock. I saw only five minutes had passed. There was no way I could delay him in that twenty-five minute time frame.
"He called me Saturday." I mumbled quietly. "It was out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared."
Dr.Reed didn't say anything. Instead he handed me a notebook and a pen. I looked at him like he needed to be the patient. What did he expect me to do, draw out my feelings. Because if he did, I swear I'll just walk out. Today was not the day for his mind games, and bullshit.
"Write down what I'm about to say." he instructed. I raised my eyebrow and scoffed.
"You're kidding right?"
"No." he answered leaving no room for argument. I sighed and poised the pen, signaling him to continue. "I will not let my past dictate me. I will not let my hatred consume me. I am stronger." he recited.
Shaking my head, I copied down the three sentences. I picked up the journal and showed Dr.Reed. He smiled and reclined in his seat.
"Good. Now rip the page out and stuff the paper in your pocket." he instructed me. I furrowed my brows, as I was convinced they gave a kid fresh out of high school a psychology degree.
"You are seriously an odd man." I shook my head, but nonetheless complied. "What now?"
"You keep that paper in your pocket. You read it every night before you go to bed. You read it first thing in the morning. Read it when you're alone, before and after group, read it when you feel like you're not strong.
Read it when you think of Colton, or when you're consumed with an overwhelming sense of hatred. Memorize the words. Use them as a mantra to live by.
YOU ARE READING
HERO SYNDROME
Teen Fiction"They say life is fragile, and we're not all guaranteed tomorrows." My name is Phoenix, and despite my name being a bird that rises from the ashes, I can barely rise from my bed on a good day. I was born to be fearless, but I am in fact, a fearful...
