HERO SYNDROME

❝Leave Before You're Left❞

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t r i g g e r
w a r n i n g
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"Knock knock." I called out, tapping on Max's door whilst opening it. Max was on his bed staring at the ceiling. Tell tell signs that he was deep in thought.

"I hate when people do that and come in anyway. What if I was naked?" he scoffed, throwing a football in the air and catching it.

"Then I would have screamed and ran out of here so fast, the flash would have whiplash." I joked, entering his room. I sat at the end of his bed and ignored his annoyed expression.

"I want to be alone Nix." he stressed, as if that wasn't obvious.

"And I want to apologize." I countered with a sheepish smile.

"Apologize for what? You haven't done anything wrong Phoenix." he assured me. I shook my head, disagreeing with him.

"Yes I did. I put that fear in you. I need you to understand that when I...when I...." I couldn't even say it out loud, I was so ashamed.

"When you almost didn't come back." Max filled in for me when he saw I was struggling. "Don't be scared Phoenix, I know you're scared. I can feel it. I won't be mad, I promise." he added softly. I nodded and continued.

"When I almost didn't come back, I want you to know it had nothing to do with you. Your brown eyes were the last thing I'd seen and I felt nothing but peace. There is no way you could ever fail me Max. You were plenty strong enough for the both of us and I wanted nothing more than to free you.

I didn't realize then that it would haunt you. That's all my fault and I'm so sorry. But don't you dare blame yourself for anything. You are my hero Max." I assured him.

There was no need for hugs or sweet sitcom moments. That wasn't really Max and I's thing. We were very unemotional about things. So what he did next threw me completely off.

"Stay gold Ponyboy." he fist bumped me.

"We're golden till the end Max." I chuckled.

"Hey Nix?" he called after me, as I left his room.

"Yeah?" I frowned.

"Jace...he's a good kid." he said. I paused and nodded.

"I know." I mumbled lamely.

"No I don't think you do." he retorted, "I know when you're worried about something. You've been making me feel sick for days now. So cut it out because Jace isn't going to do anything."

"How do you know that? In my experience, people are cruel and nothing surprises me anymore." I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I don't think he is. I'll be the first to admit I had my doubts about him but when you told me about his sister....I think I understand. You don't need him Nix, he needs you." he said vaguely. I furrowed my brows in confusion, what was Max getting at?

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it means. Just trust me on this Phoenix, Jace doesn't have an ulterior motive to hang out with you. He genuinely needs someone like you in his life." Max said with certainty.

"He needs me because i'm sick?" I narrowed my eyes at him, growing angry.

"No, he needs you because you're strong. Whether you choose to believe that is on you. I don't think you should worry about Jace hurting you, I think it's the other way around."

I glared at my brother who only stared back patiently. He knew I would get riled up and I wasn't going to feed into my emotions. I couldn't, because I was still proving something to myself and the others around me.