HERO SYNDROME

❝Dead Loved Ones Club❞

"Where the have you been Phoenix? We looked for you all day." Max asked again his patience running thin. I stepped away from Mikey and made sure to stuff my bandaged hand in the pocket of my sweater.

Jace stared at Mikey silently before he turned to me, "You alright?" he asked.

"Just fine." I sighed uncomfortably.

"Nix, what's going on? Where were you and I want the truth." Max scolded me with his heavy glare casting towards Mikey.

"You can tell us anything," Jace assured men with a soft smile, "we'll understand Phoenix." and I felt minor relief in that, but my guilt was still plaguing me. I wanted Mikey to know how sorry I was.

"It's a long story." I muttered lamely.

"It better be a good story with raving reviews, because you lied to both of us." Max narrowed his eyes at me. I looked away and wished I had the power to disappear. Max sighed and pulled me away and whispered in my ear. "Something didn't feel right this morning and I've had this unsettling feeling in the pit of my gut all day. What's going on?" he pried.

"Later okay? I have something I have to do first." I mumbled turning back to Mikey. But to my surprise he was already heading back to detention. "I've gotta go guys, I'll explain everything later!" I called out to both Max and Jace before sprinting after Mikey.

"Where are you going?" Max called after me, but I ignored him and chased after Mikey. I had to make sure he was alright.

I fell into step with Mikey and halted him just as we stood outside the detention room. He turned to me and looked beyond annoyed. I quirked up a small smile as an opening but the ice king didn't find me amusing at all.

"I told you I don't care. Why are you too stubborn to understand that?" Mikey sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. I smiled and shrugged.

"Because I can read you better than that. You're lying and I feel horrible. You're not a freak Mikey. Different yes--but you are not a freak. If anything, I'm the freak." I said truthfully and making sure he understood I was being sincere. Mikey raked his fingers through his electric purple hair and looked at the ceiling.

"You're not a freak either bird girl." he said to the ceiling. His dull green eyes met mine with a kindness he hadn't shown me before. "I really don't mind what you said, I've been called worse. You don't usually snap like that, do you?" he smirked letting his playful demeanor return.

"Not like that, no." I shook my head letting my shame seep back in like a leach on my back. It was a god awful feeling to intentionally hurt someone like that and relive their hurt expression over and over again like a broken record.

It may sound dramatic to you--but I'm wired like that. I do before thinking and I replay the shame on loop as punishment and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Stop thinking about it." Mikey's voice snapped me back into reality. I frowned at him confused when he chuckled at me. "You were reliving the moment you called me a freak, weren't you?"

"No-" I began to lie when Mikey cut me off.

"Liar! You spaced out with this huge frown on your face. Relax kid, I'm not even mad anymore. So relax the face muscles and stop over analyzing everything." he advised me like Dr.Reed would. I didn't like it, but he was right....maybe that's why I didn't like it?

"How do you know so much about anxiety?" I narrowed my eyes skeptically. Mikey shrugged carelessly as if it was a small habit he picked up.

"I read a lot of pamphlets in the waiting room of my psychiatrists office."