HERO SYNDROME

❝All Secrets Find The Light❞

Our drive home was silent. I couldn't read my mother's expression. She didn't wear it for show, and it scared me.

"Say something, please?" I quietly begged her. Mom sighed and pulled the car over.

Mom stared dead across and gripped the steering wheel tightly. I watched her knuckles turn ash white and I knew her conclusions were made. "If this has anything to do with-"

"It doesn't." I said before she could finish. Mom turned to me skeptically and stared at me hurt.

"If there was anything hurting you, you'd tell me right? You'd tell me what was wrong, and we would work it out. You would tell me right?" she asked, rambling uncontrollably. I realized I had to come clean to her, mom and Reed were the only ones who would understand, because they were the only ones who knew.

"Colton called me a couple weeks ago." I confessed, my voice coming out small and vulnerable. Suddenly I felt a large weight lift from shoulders, because keeping that inside for so long was tiresome. I should have told mom, because she is the only person who truly understands Colton's hold on me. "He's coming back into town soon, and it's opening up old wounds."

"Oh honey..." she sighed, sympathetically. Before I could register it, she wrapped her arms around me and held me tightly. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

I shrugged and pulled away from her, "Mom, I hate that you worry for me. I just didn't want to pile this on you, especially now. I mean, the accident just happened, and you're working more than ever now, plus I have Reed to talk to. It helps sometimes, but it doesn't stop the fact that Colton is coming back. I just don't want you worrying about me." I explained.

"You can always come to me sweetie. No matter how busy you think I am, you and your brother will always be my first priority." she promised, stroking a piece of my hair away from my face. I smiled and nodded, mom was pretty much the only person who could reassure me I was going to be okay, even when everything else around me told me I wasn't. She had that power in her.

"Thanks momma."

"I do think you should tell Max though." she added, turning the ignition in the car. I blinked in shock.

"What are you talking about mom?"

"I think you should explain to your brother that you haven't been yourself because Colton is coming back." she said nonchalantly, as if my brother would understand that. Which he wouldn't. He and Stella know nothing about my regrettable past with Colton. Nor did I intend for them to ever know.

"Yes, because he'd completely understand that my best friend's brother, makes me so mad that I fly off my hinges." I retorted sarcastically. "Mom he just won't understand, and I don't want him to."

Mom frowned deeply, the way she did when she felt guilty about something. "I just think that enough time has passed, and we should sit him down and explain-"

"No mom." I cut her off, shaking my head. "We promised that we wouldn't tell him, ever. You promised me I would never have to talk about it again, and now you want me to tell my brother?"

"Max will understand, it just feels wrong keeping this a secret. It's not right."

"Yeah well, wrongs seems to be the norm in my life anyway." I mumbled under my breath. "It's not your secret mom, it's mine."

"It's just as much mine, as it is yours. One day you'll understand that all secrets find the light."

"Not this one mom." I swore, glaring out the car window. "Not if I can help it."

__________

As soon as I arrived home, I set myself to work. I still had that home-ec project I had to finish, and I needed it finished for school in the morning. The party with Jace, therapy, my conversation with mom, and my fight with Max had distracted me all weekend. What I needed was to just get out of my own head.