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I clambered downstairs and found mom drinking coffee. Before I could say anything she said, "Max went to school early. I'm taking you to school."
"Oh." I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "Are you ready?"
Mom nodded and grabbed her things. We both clambered into the car silently, and remained that way. My hands trembled in my lap, and I clenched them tightly to stop it. I had woken up a bit unsteadily. My hands were shaky, my legs felt weak, and my stomach was in knots. I passed it off as lack of sleep from the night before. I tossed and turned in bed all night. At one point, I found myself outside of Max's room. But I thought it was too soon to talk to him.
He needed space, just like mom said.
Space. Space. Space. I repeated in my head over and over again.
Finally we pulled up in front of the school. I hesitated and mom noticed, she placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it. "I'll come pick you up after school, and we'll go to your therapy session okay?" Her eyes were warm and sympathetic. But there was something else.
Disappointment.
"Okay." I heard myself say. But it wasn't okay. Nothing was okay anymore.
Walking into that school was the most terrifying experience. I was aware for the first time ever, that I was truly alone. In the physical, and emotional sense. I told myself to wear an impassive face, give nothing away. Don't let them see you scared, worried, or sad. They sense that kind of thing, and once they see you alone, they pounce at you. If I could make it through today alone, then I could keep doing it over and over again until winter break, in four weeks.
But looking at everyone clumped together in their group of friends, laughing, shouting, and glancing at others, I realized this was no easy feat.
My throat closed up, and I froze. Everyone, it seemed, turned to me. Watching me, giggling, and whispering about me.
They could see me. All of them, gawking at the weird girl who tried to kill herself.
They've been waiting for me. This was their chance to finally rip me apart. My two fierce protectors were gone. I was an easy target now.
My heart, I could hear it pounding so loud in my ears. My nails dug into my palms until I was sure skin broke. My breathing came out short and shallow. The hallway was spinning and everyone was staring and laughing at me.
Breath.
Wait no, don't breathe too loud.
Run.
But I can't feel my legs anymore.
Do something.
I can't. I can't. I can't ---
"Phoenix, come on let's get you something to eat." I heard someone say. They wrapped their fingers around my arm and gently dragged me away.
My eyes focused on the familiar spiky purple hair. It was Mikey. He was taking me away from their cruel laughter. When I turned to glance back, I found everyone seemingly back to normal. Chatting with their friends.
"Did you stop them from laughing?" I asked Mikey, pulling my arm away from him.
He furrowed his brows deeply and shook his head slowly. "Stop who from laughing?"
YOU ARE READING
HERO SYNDROME
Teen Fiction"They say life is fragile, and we're not all guaranteed tomorrows." My name is Phoenix, and despite my name being a bird that rises from the ashes, I can barely rise from my bed on a good day. I was born to be fearless, but I am in fact, a fearful...
