Reminiscence

Open Letter (Zadreau)

Pairing: Zadreau
Prompt: What happens when he breaks her heart. The result of her brokeness AU

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And then it starts again.

Hearts breaking, tears shedding, pain in all sorts of forms. We didn't see it coming, we didn't expect it to happen. It hit us hard, straight in the face, like a truck swerving its way back to the right path.

"What are you writing, Zades?" My roommate asked. I looked at her with tired eyes and whispered my answer.

"An open letter to the guy who broke my heart (?)" She then went near me, while I was typing.

"You know, that he will never read it, right?" I nodded my head.

"Kesh, I just need an outlet, it hurts. You know it hurts. Even though he won't read it, I just want to let it all out. I don't care if he even responds or not. I just want this pain to end." A tear escaped from my eye, and Kesh hugged me tighter than the usual hugs she gave me.

When she left, I continued writing.

I will never know if this letter will be worth it at the end, but its worth a try.

Perhaps you never intended to hurt me, but in some ways, you did. You tore my heart out from my body with a knife in your hand. You shattered my whole being with just the snap of your fingers. You cut my heartstrings with scissors that were to sharp to even hold on to.

You broke me in ways, I had never even imagined. You destroyed me in ways I had never even ideated. It never crossed my mind that you can do something as cruel as that.

I mean, really, how could you do that to me?

The days I spent with you are the days I treasured the most, from our first meeting, Valentines day, to all our wildest adventures, during every holiday we had spent together, and even the times when we were apart, you never failed to make ny heart race. You never fail to make me gush over petty things. You never fail to show me hints that you love me. Or was it that I just assumed too much.

Of all our food trips, our hang outs of movies, of burgers, of fries, of fikas and of everything in between these simple gestures, you always, always, make me happy even at the break of dawn.

You used to be there for me even at 3 in the morning. To calm me out of my nightmares. To sing me back to sleep even when you're not a good singer, and when I say not I mean it. But your voice could sooth me for hours, your voice could make me feel safer than before. Your voice sent tingles down my ears. Your voice, was my favorite song. That I could never get tired of listening.

We were a pair, we were inseperable, we were so close, solid diamond chums, right? We have a connection that others don't have. And we were lucky, we were one of the lucky ones. You know me by heart and I as well, you listen to my rants, my monologues and you never seem to get bored of it, even when its too tiring to listen.

You were my go to guy, my food trip buddy, my partner in crime, you were everything I wish for, because you were my bestfriend.

You showed me a whole new world, your world. The world I have come to love. The world though it was cruel, with you in it, I can endure.

But that was the past, the past wherein there was you and me. Together. Platonic in some circumstances. Just friends you said. Just friends. But the emotions in your eyes tell me otherwise.

I know that we were both scared. That if one of us will fall for the other then maybe its game over for the both of us. That maybe, it won't work out and we'll lose our solid diamond friendship over our not so platonic relationship. And you knew, you always knew that I'll choose our friendship over the realtionship we almost had.