Reminiscence

Amnesia

It's been so long since I last saw you. How are you, Chenia? I have been staying in the city since last week. But still, I haven't seen you around.

Alam ko na 3 na taon na ang lumipas noong naghiwalay tayo. But the scar that you left me still stings badly. Masakit pa rin siya.

Ginawa ko naman ang sinabi ng barkada natin na mag move on na lang ako. Ang hirap pala no? Pero kahit anong gawin ko, bumabalik pa rin ako sa 'yo. Hindi ka pa rin makalimutan ng lintek na puso't isipan ko.

Sometimes I start wonder was it just a lie. If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

Kahit anong tulak ko sa 'yo palayo. Kahit mag lasing ako. Piliting magmahal ng iba. Hinding hindi pa rin kita nakakalimutan. Damn these feelings I have for you. They didn't left.

While I was trying to sort my thoughts out, mas lalong sumakit ang puso ko. Hindi ko mapigilang umiyak. Nagsilabasan ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

Did you know that I had receive a phone call from your mother? Nagulat ako ng sobra sobra. Mas lalong dumagdag ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Why did this happen to us? Why us?

Alam kong wala akong karapatan para tanungin ka ng ganyan. Alam ko naman na walang tayo. Sobrang tagal na noong iniwan ko ang lahat at umalis ng bansa. I know I don't have the right to ask you these stupid questions.

Before we were lovers, you became my nemesis. Ayaw na ayaw mo sa akin noon. Natatawa nga ako nang pilit kong alalahanin yung mga pinagdaan nating dalawa. I smiled bitterly.

You said that I was too full of myself. Too arrogant and boastful. It was the first time that I had ever met a girl who doesn't like my guts. You caught my attention right away. Most of the girls were smitten by me. But you despise me to death.

Hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang ginawa ko sa 'yo. Wala naman akong atraso sa 'yo. Ikaw nga ang may atraso sa akin. Remember when you've spilled blue paint on my new white car? Hindi ka man lang nag sorry. Tinawag mo pa akong kupal.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero hindi ako nagalit sa 'yo. In fact, I was glad that you've did that. Mas lalo kitang kinulit at kinulit. Besides, we were going to graduate from our highschool years. Better make the most of it.

Naging close tayong dalawa, I'll admit that. Kababae mong tao pero mahilig kang magbasketball. You don't like wearing high heels and skirts, you prefer sneakers. Ikaw ang naging kalaro ko sa basketball tuwing boring sa bahay. Mahilig ka sa street foods. Lalo na ang isaw. Pinatikman mo pa nga sa akin.

Marami akong natutunan sa 'yo, Chen. When you came into my life, you changed it completely. You made me think twice, and stopped myself from being reckless. You taught me that life isn't easy. You need to work hard to claim your spot in this world. Nag aral ako ng mabuti para sa 'yo. Napasa ko ang lahat ng subjects dahil sa 'yo. Everything became so clear when I was with you.

And eventually, I had fallen for you. But in return, you had fallen for the other. And sad to say, it was my brother. Then my brother fell in love with your sister. How cruel could the world get?

They said it was the domino effect. I fall for you, you fall for the other. Totoo nga 'yon. Nakakatawa ngang tignan ang unrequited love natin sa isa't isa. Pinili mo ang mahal mo at hindi ang nagmamahal sa 'yo.

Alam kong nasaktan ka, when my brother became your sister's boyfriend. Pero nas masakit ang nararamdaman ko dahil nasasaktan ka. I'd rather see you happy with my brother than see you hurting because of him.

Our situatuon is so messed up. Sana bigyan mo ako ng isang pagkakataon na iparamdam sa 'yo na ang isang katulad mo ay dapat minamahal, inaalagaan ng mabuti at hinding hindi ka sasaktan. Magulo nga ang tadhana. Pero laking pasalamat ko at binigyan mo ako ng chance. A chance to mend your broken heart.