The 'Feelings' Journal

11. Don't touch

I arrived to the party and parked my car in a safe spot. Everyone already knows not to mess with my car, but it doesn't hurt to be extra careful. I LOVE my car and if anyone messed with my car there would be terrible, horrific, and terrifying consequences. I got out of my car and walked into the house. It smelled like alcohol. Gross. I know I'm supposed to be this big bad rebel who listens to no one and all, which I am, but one thing I don't do is drink and drugs.

As I walked in I got alot of stares from guys. They were full of lust and greed. I scoffed and kept walking i don't have time for them and their games. I saw Lilly nodding her head to a familiar bet. Ke$ha.... Blow! Good choice Zack! I said to myself. That's one of the reasons I love coming to his house parties. He had GREAT taste in music. I'm guessing tonight's music theme is going to be Ke$ha.. Even better for me. I walked up behind Lilly and whispered in her ear "Your looking sexual as fuck!'. She turned around immediately ready to cut a bitch. When she saw it was me she laughed and gave me a hug. "You look real nice!" she said with a goofy smile. "Why thank you! You're just too kind!" I replied as I put my phone in my bra. She laughed. "So date! Details! TELL ME!!" she begged while shaking my shoulders. "Haha! Okay! It was-" i got cut off with someone tapping me on the shoulder. I turned around ready to slap someone. Everyone knows not to tap me on the shoulder or even touch me as a matter of fact.

When i turned around I saw Jessie standing there all tall and handsome. "Hey Kitten." he mouthed. I'm glad Lilly couldn't read lips, because if she saw what he said I would never hear the end of it. "Hey!" I yelled over the music. "Hey you two!" he yelled back. "Hi!" i heard Lilly yell over my shoulder. "Oh! Jessie! This is Lilly my main bitch!" I said putting my arm around her shoulder. "Hi Jessie!" she said with a big smile. "Hi Lilly!" he said with a wave. "Mind if I steal Sam away from you for a little while?" he asked with a nice smile. "Sure! BUT if you hurt her i will hurt you!" she growled back. He looked at her shocked at her response. While I on the other hand stood there with a smirk on my face. Looks like I'm starting to rub off on her. "I promise I will bring her back safe and unharmed." he said with a wide smile. He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me away. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked pouring him self something. "No they always spike the drinks here." I said plainly. "Oh" his eyes widened at my statement. He put the cup down and offered me a bottle of water. I shook my head no. Then I heard my favorite song... The Other Side by Jason Derulo.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor with me. I started dancing around to the song and people started forming a circle around me. I just kept dancing until my fave part of the song came on the part where the song slowed down to a stop. Jessie started to dance in front of me slowly. I started to lean in. He did the same. Then the music suddenly picked back up and I pushed myself away and started dancing again. He just stood there laughing at what just happened. I couldn't help but laugh myself. Once the song ended we got a round of applause. I walked away not really acknowledging it and grabbed a bottle of water and took a long gulp. Jessie walked up behind me and placed a hand on my lower back. His touch made me squirm a little. He noticed and removed his hand from me. "Your dancing is amazing!" he half shouted half yelled. "Your not so bad yourself." I replied. Just then Zack came up to us and fist bumped Jessie and gave me a hug. I didn't refuse it like I would if it were anyone else. Zack was like that in a way. A way where I didn't have to refuse his affection. He was kind of like one of those cool older friends. He protected me, didn't treat me different because I was younger than him, and all at the same time flirted with me meaninglessly. He was complicated like that. It is always just best to accept it for what it is and move on.

"You are like the dance queen!" he exclaimed. I giggled and rolled my eyes. "But I'm not married." I said raising an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" he said with a wink. I just laughed and so did he. Jessie sort of stayed quiet. "Haha! Nah I'm just kidding, but hey I'm glad my dance 'princess' could make it!" he said with a big smile. "Zack I will always find a way to come to one if your parties... Well as long as the music is good." I said with a shrug. "Well then I guess I need to keep the music good then so you can keep coming." he said with a smirk and a wink. I felt Jessie slip one hand on my waist. I tried to keep my expression calm and swayed my hip away as if I were swaying to the music, but he kept his hand there. It's just something about Jessie touching me that sends chills up my spine. I'm not sure if the chills are good or bad, but either way I don't like them. But then again I don't not like them.  Zack must've noticed and he made a kind of awkward face. "Hey I'll catch up with you later princess! Gotta make sure they don't spike all the drinks." he said giving me a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Once he was out of sight I turned to face Jessie. He had a sort of mad/annoyed/sad look on his face. That didn't matter to me I was still mad at how he was acting. "What was that?!" I yelled at him. He looked down at me after a moment. "Nothing." he replied in a calm voice. What?!! Nothing!? Nothing!? That sure as hell didn't seem like nothing! "What do you mean 'Nothing'?" I said furious crossing my arms.

Jess POV

Sam-... I mean Kitten is amazing at dancing. I could sit and watch her dance all night. The way her body moved and flowed to the music. It was all just amazing... until Zack came up. Zack and I are friends, sort of like best friends, to be exact. He knew I had feelings for Sam. He was the one that told me before I even knee myself. Yet here he was standing right in front of me flirting with her! And the sad thing about it is she didn't object to it. I slipped my hand on her waist hoping he would notice. He didn't, well not right away anyways. Sam tried to get my hand to fall but I kept it there. Zack noticed my hand on here hip and told her he had to go. Not before he gave her a kiss on the cheek. What the hell was he doing!? I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I had to focus on Sam's furious face. "What do you mean 'Nothing'?" she asked crossing her arms.

I had to think of something to say. I couldn't just tell her what I was thinking. It would only just freak her out. I just shook my head and grabbed her wrist telling her to follow me. I walked up the stairs. We were half way up the stairs before she started to object. I gave her a confused look before I realized what she was thinking. "Oh no! Nooo! It's not like that Kitten.". "It sure as hell seems like it!" she yelled at me completely fuming. "No no I just want to talk to you and I can't really hear you over the music." I explained. "I promise I'll keep my hands to my self." I said to her. She looked down then gave me a suspicious look. "Alright, but one wrong move and you won't be liking my spikes so much." she said in a harsh tone. I nodded. We walked up stairs and found an empty room. I sat on the bed and she stood. "So what do you want?" she hissed. "To apologize." I stated flatly. She walked over to the dresser and leaned on it. "Go on." she said in a soft voice. "I'm sorry for they way I acted. I didn't like the way Zack was flirting with you and I just... I just..." I couldn't get out what I wanted to say. Mostly because of fear. She knitted her eye brows together in that cute way she always did. I stood up and walked towards her. She flinched a little. Keeping my promise I kept my hands away from her. "I just want you to be mine and no one else's." I said finally. Her expression didn't change she just looked down at the ground. I know I should've told her cause that was moving things way too fast, but I couldn't just hold it in any longer. I've held it in for two months! For two months! That's long enough. "Why?" she asked in the sofest voice I have ever heard. She peered up at me through her messy bangs. I honestly didn't know why. So I did the only thing I could think of. I put my hand under her chin and lifted up her head up more so I could see her entire face. Then I leaned and connected our lips.