The 'Feelings' Journal

16. Exhausted but Still Going

SAM POV

I looked over at Jessie confused. I thought he said we were going somewhere, which immediately makes me think that he wanted to hang out like do cute couple stuff. Not 'hang out' as do friend stuff. Lou and I didn't like each other so why would I want to go anywhere with the both of them? "Um... Yes I do mind actually. I thought you said it was going to be me and you?" I said crossing my arms. "Well you see Lou a-" He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before I cut him off. "You didn't say anything about Lou coming along." I said shifting slightly in my position. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Jessie said motioning towards the inside of my house. I raised an eyebrow. "Please?" he looked into my eyes begging. I sighed "Yeah sure. Come in." Jessie and Lou walked inside. "You can uh... Just sit over there on the couch Lou." I said pointing to it awkwardly. He nodded and walked over to it sitting. Me and Jessie walked into the kitchen. "Talk fast Curli." I said crossing my arms. "Okay so I forgot that me and Lou had already made plans to hangout today and I didn't want to cancel on him, but I didn't want to cancel on you either so I just thought that maybe we could all hangout together?" He said all in one breath.

JESS POV

 She didn't look too happy when she saw Lou and I standing in her doorway. I had to at least talk to her and maybe she wouldn't be so mad. Thankfully she let us in and I had my chance. "Talk fast Curli." she said in a stern voice crossing her arms. She called me 'Curli' so she must not be as mad as I thought. I took a deep breath and did exactly that. I explained to her exactly what had happened and her expression didn't change. It was like she was made of stone. Once I finished and looked at her. She shifted slightly in her place. "All three of us hanging out together?" Sam raised her eyebrow looking directly at me. I gulped and nodded slowly "Y-yea.". She looked over at Lou, who was sitting impatiently in the living room. "And you are just now telling me this?" she smirked. This wasn't one of her usual smirks it was different this time. It was more of a death smirk than a cheeky one.

"It- it was last minute." I stammered. Sam closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if calming herself. "Ok." she finally said after a moment of silence. "Ok?" I repeated looking at her completely shocked. "Yea ok. I don't like last minute plan changes, but since I said I would give you a chance I'm gonna let it slide this time. Plus you're really cute when you're nervous." she said taking a step closer to me. I smiled and grabbed her waist, pulling her closer to me closing the space between use completely. "Thank you." I whispered. "Yea whatever just don't let it happen again." she said in a nonchalant voice and shrugged, I smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly. To my surprise she didn't back away or even attempt to move away from me. Instead she just slide one of her hands behind my neck and deepened the kiss a little.

I smiled into the kiss and gripped her waist tighter. This moment was amazing and nothing could ruin it until... "Oh what?! C'mon if you two are gonna be like this the entire time then take me home and leave me out of it!" Lou said walking into the kitchen. I looked at him and laughed brushing off the fact that he had ruined one of the best moments I had ever had with Sam. "I'm being serious Jess!" Lou warned. "Oh chill NerdStraps. I promise that we'll keep our hands to ourselves so you don't feel awkward." she said with in a monotone like voice. I smiled to myself and thought 'she's back'. This can be a good and or bad thing. Let's just hope it's a good one. 

SAM POV

#3

Jessie, Lou, and I hung out today to help me feel better. It went better than I planned. I thought Lou was gonna be a tightwad about things like usual, but after a while he loosened up. I forgot how much fun he was. This is all I am going to write, because as you may already know I went home sick today and I need my rest so that I will be well rested, energized, and ready to learn at school tomorrow. Mood: Sick

 I reread what I had just written and laughed to myself. That such a load of bullshit, but I couldn't let her know that I wasn't actually sick or I could get into more trouble. I lay back in my bed and thought about the events that had happened that day. Today was very eventful and just exhausting. First, avoiding Jessie, then pretending to be sick. After those two acts I was pooped and came home thinking everything was fine, but no Jessie call and then came over wanting to talk. Talking isn't my strong suit I might add and was very hard for me. I just really really hate feelings. Then, Jessie came back with Lou in tow and that infuriated me, but I calmed myself. I told Jessie that I would give him a chance and I'm one to keep my word. The only thing that really flew me off my railings today was the kiss. Me and Jessie kissed. I could still feel his lips on mine like they had never left. They were so soft and smooth, which is pretty unusual for a guy but not impossible.

I actually kissed back this time though. I don't know what I was thinking, but I did it anyways. I shook my head for my foolishness. Why did I have to kiss back? This was only going to create a problem for the both of us. A problem for me when I let go of loose ends and a problem for him, because he seems like he really wants to be with me. Little does he know is that I'd rather be single and just mess around. I'm not too into commitment. As I looked up at the ceiling I got an idea. Zack. He was my friend and he said I could always talk to him whenever I needed it. Plus, he would always help me if I asked nicely enough. I sat up and checked the time, 10:20. Great that means that the rents are asleep and won’t be waking up anytime soon.

I got out of my bed and pulled back on my shoes, grabbed a jacket, my keys, and headed out my bedroom door. I walked up to the security alarm that had just been installed about a month ago since I kept sneaking out. I shook my head. It was so stupid how they thought a security alarm can stop me from getting to where I want to go. I removed the face and disconnected a few wires and gently placed the face back on. I tiptoed to the rents room to make sure they were still asleep, thankfully they were. I smiled to myself and quietly and quickly made my way to the side door and out of the house. It's funny how I'm exhausted but still going I thought and giggled to myself. I locked the door back and hopped into my car and made my way to Zack's house.

A/N sorry it took so long to update I've been very busy for once in my life. I'll try to update every two weeks or sooner than that. Hope you have a good day and enjoy this chapter~xox :* :)