The 'Feelings' Journal

17. Little Escapades

SAM POV

I pulled up into Zack's driveway and pulled out my phone. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

Z: *answers* What's up princess?

S: Hey I'm coming up

Z: Okay be quiet though. My mum is getting suspicious about your little escapades over here *hangs up*

I laughed and went to the side of the house and waited for him to let the ladder down. He peeked his head out the window and waved. I smiled and waved back. Zack let down the ladder slowly and quietly. I climbed up quickly and he pulled me in. I laughed as he lost his balance making us fall over onto one of his bean bags. "Shh!" He said trying not to laugh himself. Zack sat up and pulled me up with him. "So watcha need princess? Is that Jessie giving you and problems?" He asked sternly. "Well yes and no." I said looking down. He raised an eyebrow then stood up and sat on his bed. He patted his lap motioning me to come sit. I got up and sat down laying my head on his shoulder. "Tell me." Zack said softly.

I took a deep shaky breath and started. 

"Well today me and Jessie kissed. Like actually kissed." I said. "And the problem is? Did you not want to kiss him? Did he force it on you?" He said his voice rising in anger. "No no. I kissed back. I just... I don't know. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Like you know how I feel about commitment. He really seems like he wants a committed relationship and I don't. Well not with him anyways." I said biting my bottom lip. Zack sighed and hugged me tight. "Just don't do anything too life changing, alright?". I nodded and looked up at him "But what am I supposed to do? Stay with him or just let him go?". "That's up to you baby. Just know when you're ready, so am I." he said kissing my forehead.

Zack and I had a thing. We both wanted each other, but never went for the other. He wanted commitment and I didn't... not yet. Zack was my first kiss. I trusted him with everything and every part of me He was also the guy who started this entire game I played. I've tried to convince myself that all the flirting that and I did was meaningless, but it wasn't. How could anything with the person who took your virginity be meaningless afterwards? When I told him I didn't want a committed relationship he said he'd wait. Ever since then he's been my closest friend. Closer than Lilli and I. Zack and I didn’t hang out together much, afraid of giving each other mixed signals and we didn't want to see the other with someone else. But when we did hangout together it was either at a party or alone like we are now.

"Yeah I know." I said looking up at him. He looked down at me and smiled. "Now don't frown, I hate seeing my princess sad." He said giving me a funny smile. I giggled and smiled. "Ah there it is." he said laughing. Zack leaned down and kissed me softly. I smiled into the kiss and kissed back harder. His hand slipped under my shirt and rested on my hip. He pulled away quickly and covered my mouth. 'My mum is coming' he mouthed. I nodded. I quickly got off his lap and lie down on one of his bean bags. He tossed a blanket down on top of me hiding me away in the dark.

ZACKS POV

  "Zack are you still awake?" My mother said coming into my room. "Yes I was just catching up on some reading. I'm just about to go to bed now." I lied. She nodded "Okay I was just coming to let you know that I'm about to take my medicine so if you need anything you'll have to figure it out yourself or wait till your father gets home." She said and walked out my room. I waited a few minutes until the coast was clear. I pulled the blanket off of Sam and pulled her up onto the bed with me with one swift motion. "Yes mommy I was just catching up on some reading." she quietly mocked me. I shut her up by kissing her again. "What was that?" I said smirking at her shocked face. She smirked "Nothing.".

   I lie back down and pulled her into my chest. "How much longer are you staying?" I asked. "I was actually just about to leave." she said quietly. I nodded and kissed her forehead. She got up and walked over to the window. I opened the window for her and let down the ladder. She gave me one last kiss before climbing out the window and down the ladder. "Bye." I called down to her. "Bye." she called back before heading out to her car. 

  I smiled to myself. I was glad she was back to being mine again. Even though she was dating or talking or whatever she was with Jessie. He swears we are close friends, but really we were just friends at school. Hell we weren't even that really, I just tolerated him and didn't tell him to leave me alone like the others did. He was a bad kid or anything it's just he was popular and my friends and I weren't. I was the only one who talked to him from my group. Now that he was with Sam things were going to change. Especially since he making her act this way; All sad, confused, and guilty. She didn't need a guy like him. Sure he is nice to her and all, but he was a wimp. Sam needed a guy to take charge not one who would let her run over him. Sam gets bored easily like that. She was so innocent, but then again not innocent at all. Which is why I wanted to be the first person to date her when she was ready for a committed relationship.

I got back into bed and looked out the window hoping she would come back and stay for a while longer like she used to. After about thirty minutes of waiting I finally decide that she wasn't coming back and I rolled over and went to sleep.