The 'Feelings' Journal

1. The 'Feelings' Journal

#1

So I'm not very good at this sort of thing and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is very STUPID!! Having to write down your feelings in a journal and all. But i have since the rents (parents) and the counselor they think it will help me get better. Yeah my parents sent me to a counselor therefore classifying me as a nutjob, whackadoodle, or whatever you want to call it. But anyways back to the topic of my f**ked up life.... everything your about to read is NOT TRUE!! It is far from the truth. It may seem like part of the reality we live in today but it isn't. This 'feelings' journal thingy has just now became my fantasy world. Yeah you read it fantasy world. (Happy readings Thelma!! :)) If I'm right the meaning of fantasy lies somewhere along the lines of not true does not exist ya know not real, but imagination. So in this 'feelings' journal thingy I'm just gonna let my imagination run wild and free and noone and i mean NOONE can stop me! Cause in here, in my fantasy world, i am amazing, talented, wonderful, and etc. Samantha Greenwell that's the name and don't wear it out! Lets begin shall we. I am 16 years young. Not old cause i will never get old. I have very, very, very dark brown hair. Not black DARK BROWN. I have hazel eyes and I'm average height when I'm wearing shoes and a lil bit under average when I'm not (weird i know, dont judge). I live in..... well it doesnt really matter where I live. In this journal thingy i live in Collarvine. My bestie is Lily VanBurin. She is smart and spunky. She has blonde hair. Her hair is so blonde, bright, and shiny ( ya know kind of like gold) that i have reason to believe that the sun spat in it when she was a baby. Samantha goes to Jamestown High School. And she also has a crush on the schools heartthrob Jessie. I for one despise him with every fiber of my being. Jessie has jet black hair, big muscles but not too big, above average height, and has green eyes. A.k.a the hottest guy in school. Ha! Yeah right! So time to get down to business... Today was okay I guess. What would you classify as a good day? I hit in the head with a top locker like 5 times. I held in my anger I wasn't really up for getting and then skipping after school detention. I already had 2 to make up for, cause I went home with a 'stomach ache' (Thank You acting skills!). I dropped my books in the hallway 3 times and got sent to the office for calling the teacher a b**ch during class. But hey that seems a little unfair considering the fact that I wasn't even talking to her! And I'm grounded for a week cause the rents found out about me skipping A.S.D. I feel nothing from my actions today as usual. I don't know what you think you're gonna get out of me. Are you expecting me to one day be like 'omg I was such a bad person and I really need to change my ways! Thank You soo much for helping me realize the wrongness of my actions! etc.' Well if you are thinking then you're going to be waiting for a long time. Feelings: Nothing -_-

I closed the journal and shoved it in my bag. I felt like I just got stabbed in the stomach 15 times! I hated this stupid feeling writing stuff! I don't understand why they were making do this. Just cause I may or may not have gone to the tattoo parlor pretended to be 19 and got 7 tattoos, doesn't mean you have to go and send to a therapist. I mean come on its not like they were bad or anything. They are in very respectable places. But whateves they'll just have to get over cause tattoos are permanent and they can't do anything about it. I looked in my mirror at my outfit. I loved it!

I was wearing a skater skirt short but not too short just short enough to make the principal and teachers mad cause they know I'm following the dress code and cannot get me in trouble, a nice v-neck shirt that read 'music=life', a pair of ripped stockings, my favorite leather jacket, my favorite pair of black combat boots the ones with the spikes, with my hair wavy and a lower form of a jersey style bump. I smirked in the mirror I looked like I was ready to go raise hell. Which is exactly how I liked to look like. I grabbed my black and purple floral print backpack and headed to my car, turned on the radio and started blasting Paramore.

Thanks for reading!