[Hoseok's POV]
Am I dreaming?
Nope, most definitely not. Jimin is actually here, laying beside me. I can feel my head move up and down on his chest as he breathes and this is the most relaxing feeling ever. I can hear his heart beating under my ear and I can feel his cold breath tickle my neck. I can't believe my first time was with him. Not only my first time having sex, but also my first kiss and most importantly: my first time being in love... I really do love him. He makes me happy just by being himself, he doesn't even have to do anything. Just having him around makes me feel like it's just him and I, in love, without having to worry about anyone or anything else.
He runs his fingers through my hair and softly caresses my cheek. Even though I'm the older one, I love being taken care of like this. No one has ever cared for me as much as he has and for the first time in my entire life I am at peace with who I am. He makes me feel alive after feeling dead inside for almost 22 years. And suddenly this boy just came in and swept me off my feet, yet he caught me right before my fall and I am so thankful for that. If I could I would stay here, in this exact spot for the rest of my life. The warmth of his body and the rhythm of his heartbeat is enough to keep me alive. But we can't stay here for now. I know Jimin felt uncomfortable in this place so we need to leave.
Don't worry baby, we'll turn this house into a home...
"Hey baby, let's go back home..." His face lights up at the word 'home'. That's exactly why I used this word, I knew it would make him happy if I can make it my home as well. He cutely nods at me as I get up off his chest. I can see him kinda shiver and as do I at the sudden loss of body heat so I just hug him quickly in between shivers. Letting go of him I get out of the kingsized bed to put on only my boxers and walk out of the room, leaving him whining -and not to mention naked- in the bright white sheets.
Not long after I leave the room I hear the squeaking of the bed, indicating that Jimin got up as well and is probably going to follow me out. I make my way to my own room, not looking behind to see if Jimin actually followed but soon after entering my room I here a gasp coming from the direction of the door. I turn around to see Jimin, now in his boxers as well, with his jaw basically hanging to the floor in awe. I know why. My room is most definitely one of the best places in this forsaken castle. It's filled with all types of little things that most people would call rubbish, but to me are memories. Memories of when I was little and worry free. Memories of the many beautiful holidays I spent abroad in some way too posh hotel. Memories of the only friend I ever had, who died in a car crash when I was 12...
My brother.
I can see Jimin is looking at exactly those things that hold memories of that person. The pictures, the drawings, the letters... The card of when he died...
I didn't realise I was crying until Jimin walked up to me with a worried expression and softly wiped a tear off my cheek.
"My brother..." I whisper. "He died in a car crash when I was 12." His expression softens and turns into compassion and sorrow.
"I was in that car too when it happened. We were arguing about something and when my dad looked back to shut us up, a truck came from the other side and hit the back of our car on the side where my brother sat. He died instantly... My dad got a broken arm and a whiplash and I got a few broken ribs and a concussion. I should have died. It was my fault and I knew it. And my dad knew it too... That's when he got abusive. He blamed the whole thing on me and I couldn't defend myself because I knew that it was true. I killed him...
The last memory I have of my brother is us fighting. I would give everything to see him smile just one more time. But I can't. " Another tear rolls down my face.
"I didn't think that it would still affect me this much after all those years... I hoped it wouldn't..." I bring my hands up to cover my face and to muffle the growing sobs. He wraps his arms around my shaking torso and kisses the top of my head.
"It's okay to cry, babe. It's okay to still care..." He grabs my hands and slowly pulls them away from my face.
"You don't have to hide your face or suppress the way you feel. It'll only make things harder for you. Crying does not make you weak, baby, it makes you human. I know losing someone you love is the hardest thing in the world... Trust me."
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Sad chapter, I'm sorry.
Tell me what you think?
Saranghae ❤️
