Crumble: A Destiel AU

[20]

FINALE

XXX [Dean] XXX

Whoever called his father doesn't know Cas, and it makes me a little mad if in honest. Cas and his dad didn't get along, and I wouldn't get along with him either. The man was a dick and I was going to treat him like one. I first saw him at the hospital counter, fourteen hours after his son had died. He looked so concerned about his only child, but I knew it was all an act. He didn't care about him, he wouldn't ever care. He was probably here to collect something for the will or just to make sure he was actually dead. His face turned towards me, and I cringed. He had his face; the blue eyes, the cheekbones, the scruff. His father was an exact duplicate of him, or at least close enough.

He tried to walk into his room, but I stopped him. "It's no use, he's gone." My voice was still strained and I could feel the puff in my eyes, I exuded the definition of a wreck. "I have a right to see my son, alive or not." That sentence was all it took for me to lose control.

"Actually, you don't." I got off of the wall I was leaning on.

"After everything you've done to him, all of the shit you put him through, I don't think so. You have no right concerning him at all." I backed him up across the room.

"You put him through hell, you did unspeakable things to him and I can't believe you have the balls to come down here and act like you 'have a right' to see him. You don't deserve to get to see him, at all. He lived off of the streets for years, working three jobs and barely affording college. He had to eat out of the garbage and he was deprived of all the necessities of the world; all because of you. So no, you don't get a right to see him, you can take your private jet or whatever you came here in and go right back to where you came from." I was inches from his face, my anger replacing the sadness. I dared him to say another word to me, or even walk past me. I dared him to do anything except turn around and walk off.

"And who exactly do you think you are? Trying to tell me who has a right to see him, I'm his father." I warned him. "I'm his husband, I'm his widow, and I'm the father of our child. I'm the one who helped him through all of the shit that happened to him because of you, I'm his shield and sword, and I'm the one who will kick your ass if you don't leave us alone. You aren't a father, you're a giant dick who never cared about him one bit, and I dare you to try and make up for that now. He's dead, get it. There's no reason for you to be here, he's gone and no one here wants to even be around you." His face twisted in various emotions, and then he did the most ridiculous thing.

"Move." He slammed his palm against my shoulder, slightly moving me back. That's when my fist connected with his face, and his chest, and his stomach, and everywhere else. All of my anger about his father, my father, Cas' death; every problem I've ever head, rushed into each strike. He wound up on the floor, scooting away from me. He left and I went back into the hospital room, to sit in silence with my dead husband.

The funeral was the hardest part for me. In his will, he stated he wanted to be buried in Chicago. We had already bought plots for both of us, we would be side by side, forever. He was buried in his wedding tuxedo, and I wore mine. I watched them carry out the casket, and I bowed my head. The tears slipped down my face, I couldn't even wipe them away. I watched them bury him in the ground, and I turned away. My eyes were puffed again, and my suit was soaked. I watched everyone slowly leave, until I was the only one left. I laid a single pink rose on the grave, on top of a letter. I looked at the grave one more time, and then I left.

'Dear Castiel,

We've been through much together, you and I. I can still feel you wrapping your arms around me at night, I still hear your voice whisper through the house, I still see you rounding a corner in the hall way, I know you're always with me, even though I messed up. I know you can read this, and I don't care if you can't write back. I had to have some way to get this to you, to release all of my feelings and tell you how I felt. I don't know what to do, I'm lost without you. Claire can't be with us anymore, she can't be with me anymore. Your mom took custody of her after what happened. I hate myself for acting like that, and not being able to control myself. I should have been better, I should have been better for you, and for Claire. I feel broken, and empty, and like there's nothing left. I'm alone, and I don't have anyone to fix me. I'm in a million pieces, and there's no one here to put me back together. I still can't believe you're gone, after everything we've been through. I'm a wreck, and I can't even feel anything anymore. I'm numb to everything; I don't feel any emotion at this point, except for fear. I'm so scared that I can't do anything, I'm helpless and alone and I don't know how I'm going to make it in this world without you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about ending it all, about joining you where you are now; but I know it's not the solution. I know that it won't change anything, and I know it's not time for me yet. It's going to be hard without you, but I'm going to do it, for you. I hope you can forgive me for that night, and all the other nights I wasn't myself. I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you, and I'm sorry I'm the reason you had to go. I'm sorry for all of those times that you tried to help me but I shut you out, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I'm the reason you ended up here, but I'm not sorry for falling in love with you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me; you changed my life and made me a better person. I want you to know that no matter what happens; I love you so much, I'll never be able to tell you in words. I've loved you for so long, and I like to think that means something more than just time; because it does to me. You did something to me, for me, which nobody else would have or would have been able to; You took all of my broken pieces and glued me back together, as a better model. I never thanked you for that. We've been through much together, you and I; and our story won't end here, its just then end of the chapter. I'll see you soon, just wait for me. I'll make you proud, and I'll never forget you. We've been through much together, you and I. I'll love you forever, Cas; no matter what.

-Dean

XXX Present XXX

I looked at the woman in front of me, and I couldn't believe it. After all of those years, she still looks the same. That blonde hair, the blue eyes, the twitch in her lips. After all this time, my daughter came back. She brought back all of these memories, the parts of my life I had buried because it was easier to live like it never happened than to feel all of that pain. She was here, and for the first time in ten years, I cried.

XXX [Claire] XXX

He cried, and I could tell it was the first time in a long time. I remembered everything that happened, and I couldn't bare to tell him the truth. I couldn't tell him that I ran away when grandma took me in. I couldn't tell him that I had become 'the problem kid'. I couldn't tell him that I spent the last three years of my life in a juvenile detention center. I just wanted it to be like it was, when I could be free and I didn't have any problems. I missed being with my father, and I took every chance I got to find him.

He stood up and wrapped his arms around me, for the first time since dad died; and it felt just like it did over ten years ago. It still felt like a safe place, like love, like home. He looked me dead in the eyes, and I knew what he meant. He was saying he was sorry for not being there for me after all of these years, for being just like his father, and not being the kind of parent I needed. He apologized for it all, without saying a word; and I forgave every bit of it. He took my hand, and we left that bar. We went home, and for the first time in forever, I felt like I had my family again.

XXX [Castiel] XXX

I will always be here for both of them. They are my world, in life and death. It's hard to not be able to touch them, or talk to them, but it's nice to just be here with them; even if they don't know it. It takes so much effort from both of them not to break down every day, but somehow it gets easier. Seeing them get better makes it easier on me. my daughter followed the path she needed to, and it lead her home. My husband fell, he fell hard. His depression skyrocketed, he felt like everything had been taken from him and he'd never get it back; but he got through it. He contemplated on ending it every day, but he didn't. He knew that I wouldn't want him to do it, and he put down the knife every night. He got better, and he started to feel again. I was happy that they could be a family, with or without me. I'll always be here for them; I'll always be their guardian angel.

The End

Thank you to everyone who has read up to this point. I'm not gonna lie, this story was extremely hard to write. I'm sure everyone noticed the time jumps and everything, and I hate doing those; but I couldn't just run around doing random things for ten chapters while they got through college. I hope everyone got the message of the story; everyone is a person, and they are unique, and we all have something about us. There are things like depression, anxiety, childhood trauma, abuse, and so much more; it's not always physical and it's not always something you see just by looking at someone. We should all be aware of mental illnesses and other things people go through, and also; just because someone doesn't have a mental illness doesn't mean that they haven't been through something tragic. Life is grey; it not black and white. Please spread kindness and try to understand others before you say anything. Secret of life: Everything is all about perspective.

This story is strongly based off of an AU on YouTube called 'Home Sweet Home: A Destiel AU' you can find the video here --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cylxDTMN5ZU Most of the credit goes to them, so thank you for making the video that made me cry so much, I wrote a story to go with the video. Also, I'm sorry if you rejected my proposal from eight months ago and you feel like I stole your idea. You never answered so I wrote it anyway.

As some of you know, this is my last story. I'm a senior in high school and I'll be starting college in the fall. I usually have a good writing schedule, but I'm afraid college with keep me busy, along with a job. So, I'm sorry, but this is the end. I'll be back someday, I promise. Who knows, I might give in and write another story sometime, even though there's like fifteen of you that actually read my stuff. It's not about the numbers though; I enjoy writing and I love making a story, so I'll be writing until I'm dead. Thank you all for the amazing journey, it's been a lot. We've been through much together, you and I.

-LifeLineMelody